Life Goes On

🐯TAEHYUNG REVIEWS🐯

☆Username- etexreal_jk
☆Book title- Admired
☆Judge- LAJoyner
☆Total Score- 92/100

●Cover: 4/5

I don’t see a connection to the title or the story, other than it is a picture of Taehyung.

●Title: 5/5

the title fits the story and makes a nice closing statement, I thought was perfect.

●Description: 10/10

Good description makes you want to read the story to see what all the fuss is about.

●Plot/Storyline: 15/15

The storyline is interesting, the plot bogs down a little in some places but overall it is good.

●Character Sketch and Development: 14/15

There is character development and growth through out the story and Taehyung and the female lead work their way through misunderstandings and finally say what they wouldn’t/couldn’t before and it plays out well in the end.

●Writing Style: 13/15

The writing style seemed choppy, so many individual lines separated by space. It made reading it like you were reading a part, taking a pause then reading a part then taking a pause. Some of them could be put together and form one or two sentences, some separated made them seem disconnected and would be more cohesive if in a small or short paragraph. Taking a year to write a story with a lot of chapters, close proofreading for continuity issues becomes paramount.

●Creativity: 10/10

The concept was a very good one, just some grammar, and sentence and paragraph issues along with vocabulary, made the concept a little difficult to completely embrace.

●Pace: 4/5

The pacing is effected by the unusual word choices and sentence structure.

●Vocabulary and Grammar: 12/15

There are some vocabulary word choices that seem chosen from a Thesaurus, with the idea of sounding more fancy or different. Using a Thesaurus is good, but you need to make sure the word chosen fits the context and then to make sure the sentence or dialogue it is used in sounds normal: Read it out loud, hear how it sounds.
*Ding Dong* unless you are writing a script for a movie/play or role playing you don’t use the asterisk to denote action in a story. A lawn and a tree are two entirely different things. How is he struggling to reach the lawn when the tomato is in the tree? Some confusing sentences need clarification, ex: “A romantic best echoed in the background.” “It was quite an unknown situation but her ears sure did correspond to their conversation.” In several chapters you can not tell who is speaking or who action is taken upon.  I know this is probably a typo, but I thought it was kind of cute, “The gem guns snuggled by Choi San were now on display.” He’s a gun snuggler? Little things like that can be caught by proofreading. In the chapter Pineapple or Carrot there is dialogue where you don’t know who is speaking and one part says ‘He immediately gagged.’ but you don’t know who.
“She ran till her kneecaps dislocated” -- and yet she kept going. When the knee cap dislocates a person can not walk let alone run on it, more so if it is both. “Her lungs stopped working,” when your lungs stop working you can’t breath and are not getting oxygen, yet she kept running. These two things are not humanly possible. Research and check resources if you are unfamiliar with human anatomy and medical conditions.
In the chapter called Spark, the reference to candle, lit, spark, lit up, ignite, single spark, The Spark, burned, light they are used so closely together. The chapter is called Spark but over using the spark and the many synonyms for it condensed to closely together making the moment when he realized he was The Spark, her spark, it lost it emotional impact.