Healing Your Heart of Thorns (title may change)

Can I Get A Little Respect Around Here!?

Taking his wife's words to heart Tyrion never sends the prostitute he once met named Ros and another to his nephews chambers which saved them from the pain they were to receive from him and/or each other if they had gone it took him forever to find out that his own wife's sister had sent Ned Stark's body and head to Winterfell back when she had chopped off his head.... he had heard of a familiar to him looking lad who walked up, spoke with the Hand of the King before him in whispers and chopped off his head then left never to be seen again and that is how he knew it was Lysianassa's sister.... and in place of the head that would have been Ned Stark on the Traitor's Walk in the Red Keep was the head of the Mountain which he found amusing "ok so we have girls dressing as boys and boys looking like girls what is wrong with your family my love!?!"  Tyrion hears his wife ask with a playful tone as she answers the door to their chambers he turns with a smile and sees his cousin Lancel scowling at her from the other side of the door he watches as she takes the parcel from his cousin, opens and reads it "apparently your sister wants Father Time back"  Lysianassa says Tyrion chuckles as he walks over and gently takes the parcel from her then holding the hand that held the parcel and kissing her fingers as he reads it himself as it sits in his other hand "you know you owe me a massage!"  she coos as she looks at him "do I!?!"  he asks she nods then says "I gave you one while you spoke with your sister and if you're going to invite your cousin in you can give me one after I serve you both wine.... just not over the chest we'll save that part for later"  he smiles "I am here at the Queen Regents behest not to drink wine with the two of you"  Lancel says "of course you are!"  Lysianassa mocks with a coo in her tone Tyrion smiles then asks his cousin as his wife pours him a drink "if my sister was so concerned for Pycelle I would have thought she'd come herself, instead she sends you what am I to make of that?"  Lancel replies as Tyrion waves his hand at the chair near his wife with a smile on his face and she sits down "I don't care what you make of it so long as you release your prisoner immediately"  he looks at Lysianassa and says "and what you did to Ser Meryn was wrong! you should be ashamed of yourself!"  she asks as Tyrion starts massaging her shoulders "why because I'm a woman and women shouldn't know how to fight!? just because you boys think we're weaker than you doesn't mean that we are, not to mention he used a sword he carries around with him all day one that was specifically made for him I used a sword that was not mine and half my weight as well as unbalanced and I still defeated him if you ask me you boys are weaker and like I said you all need better training and no I will not be training you nor will I call upon the one who taught me to teach you"  she looks at her husband and asks "do you think I should feel ashamed!?"  Tyrion shakes his head with a smile then asks his cousin "you received these instructions directly from Cersei?"  Lysianassa says "it is quite surprising she's not here reprimanding me for my behavior today I thought she liked doing that!"  Tyrion chuckles "as I've said several times"  Lancel tells Tyrion who says "and you've waited this long to deliver the information?"  Lysianassa looks at Lancel and says "I wonder what Jamie will do when he finds out you've been fucking his lover of a sister!"  Tyrion hides a chuckle as Lancel gets in her face and growls "how dare you!"  Lysianassa replies "I don't dare I just do and you don't frighten me child so back away before you learn just how dangerously frightening I can be!"  he backs away with wide fearful eyes "I think that's the smartest thing he's done since I answered the door"  Lysianassa says looking at her husband who replies with a smile "indeed"  Lysianassa looks at Lancel and asks "do you know why I do what I do!?"  Lancel shakes his head "if I can't gain respect I might as well demand fear after all when people fear you they tend to leave you alone, what surprises me though is that my husband has yet felt the burn of what I've done after all seeing that I am his wife you would think someone somewhere would try to get him to teach me better manners or at least demand he figures out a way to make me behave especially when your lover of a cousin is around"  Tyrion fights the urge to burst out laughing especially when she says to his cousin "how does it feel to be a replacement!? she must be truly desperate to fuck a little boy like you!"  after a pause she says "you should be grateful I despise what Joffrey either has become or has always been for if I didn't I would walk to his chambers, wake him.... if he's sleeping and in a way to coerce his forgiveness tell him how you reek of his mothers perfume and why I'm sure he would take it as it is meant to be but one might wonder what he would do to you"  Lancel covers his mouth with his hand then says as he just about falls into the chair he stands in front of "it's not my fault!"  Tyrion asks "did she take you against your will? can you not defend yourself knight?"  Lysianassa adds "especially against a woman!"  Tyrion smiles as Lancel says "Lord Tywin, when I was named the King's Squire, he told me to obey her in everything"  Tyrion asks his cousin while massaging his wife's back "did he tell you to fuck her too?"  Lancel shoots out of the chair he was sitting in as he says "I only meant.... I did as I was bid I--"  Tyrion says "hated every moment of it is that what you'll have us believe? a high place in Court, a knighthood, my sister's legs spreading open for you at night oh yes, it must have been terrible"  Lysianassa looks at her husband and asks "would you like to tell him!?"  Tyrion replies "but I thought you were going to attempt to get in his good graces"  Lysianassa says with a shrug "there will be other opportunities and you owe him a Nameday gift"  he replies "indeed I do.... I shall finish this later my love"  he slides his hands own her back then kisses her lips as she says "I look forward to it my love!"  Tyrion starts to walk towards the door and Lancel gets down on his knees and begs for "mercy, mercy, my Lord I beg you--"  Tyrion who realizes why his wife cleverly changed "gossipers"/"tattletales" for she would never have even pretended to grant him mercy and kept on going he also knew she knows he'll want to use his cousin for his own means.... without bedding him like his sister apparently has been.... turns to face his cousin and says "save it for Joffrey he loves a good grovel"  Lysianassa who stood up and followed her husband to the door opens it for him as Lancel says "my Lord it was your sister's bidding the queen I'll leave the city at once, I swear"  Tyrion looks at his wife who smiles at him as she shuts the door then he turns his attention to his cousin and says "no I think not"  Lancel replies with a surprised confused expression on his face "my Lord?"  Tyrion says "you heard me my father told you to obey my sister, obey her stay close to her side, keep her trust pleasure her whenever she requires no one ever need know.... as long as you keep your faith with me I want to know what Cersei is doing where she goes, who she sees, what they talk of, everything and you will tell me"  Lysianassa adds "try not to make it too obvious, don't ask too many questions.... unless you do that now anyway for if she is suspicious of you for any reason it will be bad for you and not because of me but because she is the "Queen Regent" and abuses what power she has just as much as her eldest son the "King" does"  Lancel says "yes, my Lord and Lady, I will I swear it as you command"  he lowers his head and Tyrion claps three times then says as he taps his cousins arms "oh rise, rise!" he walks over to where he left his goblet and says "let us drink to our understanding"  Lysianassa opens the door once more as Tyrion looks around and says "oh, you don't have a cup, oh well"  Lancel walks past Tyrion and out the door bowing to Lysianassa as he passes her she smiles a small smile in reply as Tyrion says to his departing figure "smile, cousin my sister is a beautiful woman and it's all for the good of the Realm go back and tell her that I beg her forgiveness, that I want no more conflict between us and that henceforth, I shall do nothing without her consent"  Lancel who stopped walking when he heard Tyrion speak says "but her demands?"  Tyrion replies "oh, I'll give her Pycelle, as for making my wife behave herself that is harder than it sounds.... oh wait she didn't demand that!"  Lancel smiles "he'll be out by morning"  Lysianassa tells Lancel who bows to her perhaps because that is what he was taught to do to a lady.... though she would never claim to be one nor does she act like one.... "Cersei can keep him as a pet if she wants but I will not have him on the Council I could swear that I had not harmed a single hair on his head, but that would strictly speaking not be true"  Tyrion adds as he cups the door his wife still holds and closes it once it's closed he looks at his wife and sees the worried expression on her face then asks "what is it!? is it because of what I said about Pycelle!?"  she replies "not really, I'm wondering if it's wise to have him spy on the woman he's fucking he's being pulled by so many Lannister strings that it may confuse him yours, your fathers, your sisters and who knows who elses I do not want to be the cause of any more death especially a innocent one like that, and yes he is innocent, I'm sure that before she started fucking him he was a virgin and quite possibly has no idea what real true love feels like only the fake love he receives from your familial prostitute of a sister who has a thing for those with fair hair perhaps she likes to pretend she's fucking herself when she has boys like that I'm sure his long hair helps her with said fantasy if she does"  he smiles at her ending words then he asks "shall we finish your massage!?"  she replies with a smile "I would like that very much"  he waves his hand at her chair and she sits down then he climbs onto her lap and kisses her lips as he removes her shirt and massages her chest making her moan softly which makes him smile he was not going to make love to her this night but that doesn't mean he didn't want to feel the softness of her bare skin....