Holly Potter: The Bookish, Burgling, Badass (Hp x Mcu) by Personfour

Suffering from Success, Holly Potter style

Summary:

Holly Potter didn't regret any of her major life choices. She was exceptionally happy as a part-time magical tomb raider; part-time internationally famous gentleman thief; part-time officially unofficial SHIELD contact; full-time globetrotting badass.

That didn't mean she couldn't regret some things, however.

TL;DR: Holly is painfully oblivious and in denial, Hermione is her longsuffering best friend, and the Internet proves nice things cannot be had.

(Set Post-Hogwarts but Pre-Iron Man, ~1999-2004 in MCU timeline)

Notes:

You don't have to read the rest of the series to understand this but it'd help. TL;DR: Holly (fem!Harry) became a thief after running away from the Dursleys and never stopped, using magic and her shapeshifting, leading to her becoming known as The Phantom Thief. She's also quite smart and a BAMF, but painfully oblivious and socially awkward.

For my regular readers, hope you like this random future oneshot coming out of nowhere.

Holly Potter didn't regret any of her major life choices.  She was exceptionally happy as a part-time magical tomb-raider; part-time, internationally famous gentleman thief; part-time officially unofficial SHIELD contact; full-time globetrotting badass.

That didn't mean she couldn't regret some things, however.

Sliding away her laptop, she slumped sideways onto her couch with a groan, arm slung over her face.  Before Hermione could comment she flatly stated, "I hate people."

Instead of answering the questioning silence she blindly flicked her fingers to float her laptop towards Hermione.

Thankfully, Hermione was a good friend who would be sympathetic to- "How did they find out you're a woman?"

"That's it?!" She asked, sitting back up so she could glare in disbelief.  She was almost regretting becoming such a successful thief and that'd all Hermione had to say?  "That's your only comment?"

"Well, they're not exactly wrong, are they?  I've seen you shapeshift to similar forms before."

"That- that's not the point!  I don't wear a catsuit!"

There was a long pause as Hermione continued scrolling through the source of her regrets: a website had gone viral dedicated to collecting "fanart" of The Phantom Thief, her own thief alter ego.

Countless digital drawings of an attractive, voluptuous woman wearing - or sometimes not - skin tight catsuits, often carrying bags of (presumably) stolen goods.  There were variations in appearance of course, but the general trend was obvious and vaguely accurate. Granted, she was a shapeshifter and they weren't depicting her true appearance, but it was the thought that counted.

Even worse were the people literally begging to be robbed by her.

"Holly," Hermione flatly stated, "you rob people while wearing a bodysuit."

"It's my Stealth Suit!"  She shouted back, "I have the heavily warded and armored Battle Suit for fighting in, and the Stealth Suit with stealth enchantments for sneaking around and robbing people in!"