𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍|2YEON|ENG

Deskmate

The movie ended and Nayeon raised her head, which she had been keeping on Jeongyeon's shoulder this whole time.

-I'm going to eat, are you sure you don't want anything?

-Sure.

Nayeon got up and went to the kitchen, while Jeongyeon looked at her phone to distract herself and pass the time. The black-haired, meanwhile, had prepared a sandwich and decided to eat it in the kitchen so as not to make her friend hungry. Afterwards she went back to the room, where she found Jeongyeon on the bed about to sleep.

-Hey, are you sleepy?

Jeongyeon sat up. -No.- She wanted to spend as much time as possible with her friend.

-Minhyuk wrote to me, asking to meet up tomorrow. Is it too early?

Jeongyeon shrugged. -If you feel like it's the right time, go.

Nayeon frowned. -I don't know... Maybe next time.

-Then tell him.

-I'll write it to you now. Have you found anyone?- Nayeon asked as she sat next to her.

-No, that dating app is useless.

-All you do is uninstall and install it.

-What can I say... I'm desperate.

-No one texted you at all?- she ​​asked, placing the phone on the bedside table.

-No one who doesn't want photos.

-It's fate: the only woman in your life is me.

Was it some kind of flirting? No, no one would ever flirt with Jeongyeon. It was just her precious friend's way of joking. At this point what should she have replied? Usually when someone made a joke like that or said something nice, Jeongyeon didn't react, or she smiled slightly embarrassed, but she never spoke. She had to think, not make the situation awkward like she always did.

-Then tell Minhyuk that you're already taken.- It was a joke, but she immediately regretted it. What if Nayeon thought she was hitting on her? It was not like this.

Nayeon smiled. -Maybe you should stop looking for a girlfriend on the internet, there are so many people at university looking at you and you don't even realize it.

-No, they may look at my hair.

-Okay, but at least one of them must find you cute.

-But I will never take the first step. I'm destined to stay single.

-Or maybe not, if only you opened my eyes...

-Why?

-Because I know someone who really likes you. We know.

-Male or female?

-It's a girl.

-Do I know her too? Who is she?

-You saw her at university many times. You are a good observer, always staying silent, have you really never noticed?

-No, who is it?

-I can't tell you, I promised.

-Come on, Nay.

-No.

-Okay, keep your secrets.

-Do you know anyone who likes me?

-Half Seoul?

Nayeon shook her head. -This is your problem: you don't see how beautiful you are. For you, even my screenwriting teacher is better than you. I'm beautiful, sure, but you're no different from me.

-Sure? Have you seen yourself? You are the one that everyone envies and that anyone would like to have.

-What if you were like that too?

-But I'm not.

-In your eyes. To those of different people you are beautiful.

-But it's an objective fact, I'm not like all those girls.

-Exactly, you are different, this makes you unique. Not uniquely ugly, you are beautiful. Lots of people would find you interesting if you would just show yourself to others like you do to me.

some day in 2022

Seulgi, Jeongyeon's former friend, as well as the last person for whom she felt a deep friendship, had managed to settle into their class. Jeongyeon admired her for this but also envied her a little.

One day Jeongyeon made a joke, but of course she would never share it with the other people in that class. Seulgi, her classmate, told the others without giving credit to her friend. This bothered Jeongyeon but she ignored it. It happened another time that Jeongyeon asked a question regarding a school event to Seulgi and her friend asked it to her class, so her classmates celebrated her because she reminded them of that thing. And she again stole another joke. And she actually seemed as if she didn't trust Jeongyeon enough, because every time she asked anything to the other classmates, or first to her classmate and then from her others. The brunette already had no confidence in herself, so that hurt her, so much. She finally decided to confront her friend, who told her not to realize she was doing those things and that she would pay attention to it. But then she stole another joke and asked other girls for other things. And people laughed at her jokes, they found her topics interesting, but those weren't Seulgi's, they were Jeongyeon's. Jeongyeon had said all those things and Seulgi was cheered by the others. So if only Jeongyeon had spoken up... People would have found her interesting. But Jeongyeon didn't speak. She was afraid that people wouldn't laugh if the joke came from her, that people wouldn't be interested if she were the one talking. When her classmates tried to include her, she always tried to hurry and started with a tone and then lowered it with each word, until she stopped talking. Jeongyeon lived her whole life wondering what would happen if only she spoke, hating herself for it, feeling a certain annoyance for Seulgi.

Present

-No, I don't think so.

-I think so.

-You know I won't do it anyway.

-Okay, fine. Let's put on our pajamas. Take one of mine.

Jeongyeon got up and took the pajamas she used to wear from the closet, then went to the bathroom to change. Back in the room, she saw that Nayeon was undressing. She looked down and used the phone to avoid embarrassment. An embarrassment that belonged only to her. But how much would Nayeon have given to be looked at; how much she wished that Jeongyeon wouldn't just reply with her advice when she talked to her about a new guy, but that she would tell her to stop hooking up with other people. She didn't like that situation, but it wasn't her who had decided to fall in love with her friend four years before. And for four years she had had to keep her secret, pretend that for her Jeongyeon wasn't the most beautiful, the most interesting, the funniest, the kindest, the most precious thing she had. She pretended not to be jealous, that she wasn't looking at her, she wanted to tell her everything. But to Jeongyeon, Nayeon was just a very important friend and she couldn't ruin everything with that pure soul.