Salvage: Book 3 of the Magic Mutations Series

47: Lukas

June, 2019

Somehow, the silence between Olivia and I was louder than the background noise of the restaurant. Despite the clanging of forks on plates and loud gusto of the Italian men at the table nearby, the unsaid and awkward air drowned out the sounds.

We ordered our meals with no discussions.

We ate without a word exchanged.

And then I even paid without her deliberating with me about who would cover the bill, as she had done with every other meal on this trip thus far.

It was only when we had exited the restaurant and started heading towards the bus stop that she finally mumbled, "I think I might call it a day."

"What?" I asked, unsure I had heard her correctly.

"I'm tired," was all she offered.

"But we're in Rome. There's so much sightseeing to—"

"You go ahead. I'll... come back some other time." She continued walking towards the station, pulling her phone out in a quest to find a hotel with openings.

Her sudden distance felt like whiplash, especially in the wake of her confession of feelings.

Perhaps she regrets her decision to not bring him back, the cynic in me whispered.

Running after her to catch up, I grabbed her wrist to bring her to a stop without thinking it through. Unsurprisingly, I was greeted by electrical shocks.

"Sorry," she mumbled, turning it off as I let her go. Her gaze worked overtime to avoid looking at any part of me.

"What..." What exactly do I ask? What's wrong? What happened? Did I say something? Have you changed your mind? Deciding none of them fit, I went with, "I'm sorry."

"What for?" She finally looked at me, shock shrouding her stare, though lingering in the depths was that familiar despair.

I shrugged. "I don't..."

"You don't even know what for?"

I nodded.

"Why apologise when you don't have anything to apologise for?"

"I just... I don't know what to say to you."

She sighed. "You don't have to say anything. I should be the one apologising here for making everything weird between us now. I'm sorry I told you about my feelings, Lukas. I should have just hid that part so that we could go on like we were before, but I just felt I was going to explode if I didn't tell you so—"

"Wait... have you been so quiet because of that?"

Her head bobbled slightly before she mumbled, "It feels so awkward now that you know... I think I just need some time to get over the mortification of it all so that I can stop overthinking everything I want to say or worrying you're going to assume I'm asking with some agenda or—"

"You are, without a doubt, one of the most absurd people I know, Olivia Byrne."

"What?" she barked, head snapping up to look at me once more.

A grin stole my face and I took a step closer. "You're ridiculous."

"Jeez. Thanks," she muttered sarcastically.

Hand reaching upwards, I captured one of her red locks in my fingers, moving its silkiness in my grips for a few moments as I thought through my words.

All the while, her heart started to race. "Please don't do things that are going to confu—"

"I don't think anything in this world scares me more than you. And you're so small."

A myriad of emotions flickered across her face as she processed my words—surprise, annoyance, confusion, worry.

"And I grew up around my uncle," I then added after she didn't speak.

"Why do I scare you?"

"Because you seem to have a knack for putting me back together before breaking me apart again. At making me trust you with every fibre of my being and then crumpling that trust until I'm not sure who you are anymore."

Torment stormed in the emerald this time. Her mouth opened to retort, but I beat her to it, not wanting any more miscommunications to come between us because I didn't approach the subject that needed attention.

"You really think you can support me if I fall for someone else?"

"I..." The true answer was written all over her face: most definitely not. Nonetheless, she forced out, "It's what a good friend does."

"You know Emma broke up with me because you returned."

Her head drooped. "I'm sorry she did."

"I don't know why you are when it wasn't your fault. It's not like you knew we were together until after. So don't you think I'd have to have given her reason for that?"

"I guess... because I was an ex—"

"She was chummy with Erica though."

"Maybe it's different—"

"When are you going to stop doubting yourself so much?"

She glanced back up at me again, this time turbulent. "I don't get why—"

"I don't get why you straight away assumed your feelings were unrequited."

Thud-thud-thud-thud. Her heart rate accelerated. Her gaze swelled with hope. But the doubt lingered in the shadows, causing her to whisper, "You've been so hostile since I've returned. It was the conclusion that made the most sense."

"Do you warmly welcome things that scare you?"

She shook her head, still refusing to realise what I was clearly hinting at. "No, but you also don't look at people you love like they're a bug to be stepped on."

I knew she wasn't going to admit it to herself if I didn't clearly say it. But the knot in my stomach held me back. Just like the last time she confessed to me.

Because would this all not just end in chaos once more?

And what was the point in starting something that could never return to how it was?

Perhaps our bond just needed something else to sever it.

Though my mind and mouth were at odds, which was why I said, "I'm sorry if I came off that way. I was just trying to distance myself from you because I didn't want to get hurt."

Her head cocked to the side, gaze yearning for me. Yet she ended up shaking her head and taking a step back, her copper curl creeping out of my hold. "Exactly. You've been distancing yourself from me because you despise me for what I did. And that hatred for me has underpinned every action of yours since I returned. So how could I not—"

"Hatred? Ollie, I told you before, I could never hate you. Even if I wanted to."

"Why would you want to?"

"Because hating the things that scare you make you safe. Nonetheless, I always end up following you into the lion's den every time you come near."

Despite every step I took closer to her though, she would match me, moving us apart once more. "I can't follow these riddles you're talking in, Lukas."

"Can't you? Or is it that you'd just rather ignore how enchanting you are to people around you? When will you admit what's so obvious?" I challenged.

"When you are able to admit what I should supposedly see," she retorted, no longer backing away.

And she had me there. "Fine," I breathed. "But only if you promise to spend the afternoon with me regardless of what I say."

"Okay," she tried to respond confidently, but I saw the fear, the doubt, etched into her face as she tried to hold my steady gaze.

"I..." I took a deep breath—a feeble attempt to calm my racing heart. And because nothing seemed to calm it, I picked up her hand and placed it on my chest, hoping it would confirm what I was about to say. "I know it's impossible, but I still adore you, Olivia."