My Killer (YeonBin)

seven

• Turn for The Worst •

(YEONJUN)

   A bodyguard? I wondered. It wouldn't be too bad if I accept his offer, since it's to keep his safety secured. Ah, does this mean he feels safe around me? Damn, am I that reliable? I didn't know that about myself, but I don't doubt it.

   I want to ask him about that, and perhaps tease him. I grin, "Hey, Soobin." I call out as he got out of the front door. We're about to go to school, and we aren't much late yet, unless we take too long talking about things I like. Right, who's we? it's just me being talkative and he's just my listener.

   Soobin cautiously took a glimpse of the wide smile on my lips, "Yeah?" He responded. He looks scared, so I slowly removed my smirk. I shouldn't cross the line, he'll see me as a damn weirdo.

   "Regarding that offer of yours," I started off directly to the point. I lean my head on the wall, "Does that mean you feel safe about me?" I inquire him with a teasing voice.

   He nodded, "Yes."

   I didn't expect him to answer like this, surprisingly. Soobin's a honest person. I raise my eyebrows, seemed interested with this attitude of his. I love it. Most of the population in this world has a lying tongue, unlike Soobin. He may be afraid to tell the truth, but he'll avoid answering when he has to lie.

   "Why?" Now it's his turn to ask me. I shrug at this, and had no reason behind it. With his answer that I wanted to hear, I'm speechlessly satisfied. Whenever I ask something about him that's related to me, I feel wanted and special. He brings a lot of unique feelings in my heart, sometimes he makes my heart skip a beat. I never felt like this.

   I insisted to be the one to ride because he took me in the night, and it must've been tiring. We both hop on his bike, and I felt him wrap his hands around my waist. My breath hitched upon his fluttering action. I know my ears are in a shade of bright red right now, but I have to keep moving otherwise I'll be the reason we're late.

+×+

   We're done with school, and the activities were so tiring. From doing a project in Science and Chemistry, to reviewing for an our before answering an exam in History, to answering a lot of problems and equations in Mathematics, and more. I can't even think of going back to it.

   I wave goodbye to Soobin who was smiling widely, didn't seem exasperated after all those activities. It made my heart warm and lessen the tiredness in my body. My body feels lighter than before. I smile at this, grateful to see him.

   You're not.

   I raise my eyebrows at this, my heart dropping in response. I have a difficulty in breathing, what's this voice? this isn't me. There's an echoing voice in the back of my head talking to me.

   Soobin's using you.

   My heart is slowly getting ripped, and I feel like suffocating soon. My body is tensed up, my hand is trembling. Why is my body reacting like this? I don't like it at all. Please.

   A friend named Jhae. Do you remember him?

   This voice is talking to me, and I want to stitch it's mouth. No. Not Jhae. This is the same voice that manipulated me in the past, is it? no way. The power of manipulation was extinct many years ago.

   I scream in pain, my heart is twisting and this feeling of odiousness is profound. I try to hold back from pressing the sword further more into Jhae, my friend. My dear best friend.

   I don't want to kill the person I only have left. I'm reluctant to my actions, but my brain cells aren't cooperating with my heart. Fuck.

   "Kill me, Yeonjun." Jhae spoke to me, his voice is gentle and calming. He's not panicking regarding of this situation, more like he wanted to sacrifice himself just to end my suffering.

   I shook my head, "No." I refused.
  
   "I'm not killing you, Jhae."

   My voice is trembling, my tone is broken. Warm tears are rolling down my cheeks, my bones are weak. A soul is using manipulation on my body, everything feels numb except for the emotional pain that's running through my blood.

   "It's okay, both of us are going to rest after this." He reassures me, as he held my trembling hand. He squeezed, and wrapped his around it.

   I kept shaking my head aggressively, "Jhae, please! No." Many tears are escaping my eyes rapidly.

   Why is the world against the company I've always yearned for years?

   The sharp edge of the sword I'm holding is completely pierced through his chest, blood spurting out of his skin, droplets landing on my face. My eyes widen, as the sensation of my whole body came back and my control finally returned.

   I choke from the remembrance, as I accidentally drop on my knees on the ground. A loud thud is heard, and other students are looking at me. I didn't bother to fix the mess I made, the pandemonium I caused, but now I hear that familiar voice calling out for me.

   "Yeonjun-hyung!" Soobin crouches down in front of me, he observes my figure before hugging me tightly. He caressed my back gently, as I quietly sob and shake in his hold.

   It hurts so much. I want all of this to stop. Why did he have to die because of me? Why? Now it might be Soobin's turn. He might meet the same fate as Jhae had.

   My shaking hands are now placed on his chest, as I begin to put more pressure to push him away. I look at him with my puffy eyes, "Stay away from me, please.."

   That's right.

   Push him away.

   I have to. There's nothing against me pushing him anyways, it's for the best. Not just for the better. I might kill him with my own hands too. The same thing that had happened to Jhae.

   Why do I have to kill the people I love the most?

   Soobin's eyebrows furrowed at this as he stayed firm in his stand, not budging to move away from me. "Why?" He doesn't change position and stay still.

   My grip tightens on his school uniform, "I might.." I struggle letting out my breath, along with speaking. My vision is slowly becoming darker, I'm going to pass out soon.

   I might kill you soon, Soobin.

  Unwanted like the way I killed him.

   He tries to snap me out of my dizzy state, "Let's go home first." He informed. His arms are underneath my knees, and the other around my back. He's carrying me like an injured guy.

   I feel sleepy. My eyes are heavy, head empty, heart tired. This panic attack is so sudden, what an adversity I'm dragging him in.

+×+

Y'all, I'm really sorry for not updating for a long time :((

I'm terribly unmotivated with this story,
and as you can see I almost quitted writing.

I wanted to label this book as ”discontinued” but changed my mind to pursue the ending of this story.