Lost in the Nightmares of Hope- a Newtmas Fanfic

Of Grief and Love

It took a moment for Newt to process what was standing in front of him. Then it hit him. Thomas. His Tommy was there, alive. It took all of his might to keep from running to the boy and throwing his arms around him. Instead, though, he kept the knife poised against his chest and narrowed his eyes at Thomas. Newt's mouth opened and closed several times before he resolved to say nothing.

"Newt, what are you doing?" Thomas walked over to him with a pained expression.

He didn't respond, but his eyes clearly conveyed his feelings. Thomas cautiously reached his arm out, moving closer to Newt as he did, and pulled Newt's hand away from his chest. When he grabbed Newt with both hands and pried his fingers from the knife, Newt made no move to stop him.

Thoughts were swirling through Newt's mind as Thomas let the knife drop to the ground with a dull thump. A moment later caring brown eyes were staring into his own, questioning him. Rather than answer, Newt broke the eye contact, running his eyes over Tommy's battered body once again, and asked a question of his own.

"How are you still alive?"

"I've asked myself that a million times in the past hour, but nothing came to mind," Thomas said, a small smile playing on his face before a more serious emotion overcame it. He grabbed Newt's hand, causing the blonde's breath to hitch slightly. "The better question is why don't you want to still be alive?"

Newt was shocked by the question and the physical contact. Certainly, Thomas was bold, but never had he been so forthright with it. "I-I...don't know what mean," he said, his voice cracking in defeat the last few words, and without meaning to, he gripped Thomas' hand tighter.

Thomas clearly didn't believe him, so Newt was thankful when the boy said nothing. He tried to look strong, to look like he was okay, but tears stung his eyes and threatened to spill when he saw the ugly marks covering his chest again. Soon, his hand was released and strong arms encircled him and squeezed him tight.

Newt was too depressed to think about what Thomas' actions meant - whether he was just being a good friend or if he liked Newt more than that. All he knew in that moment was love and sadness. No longer did he care about keeping himself secluded and cold. Tommy had already seen his suicidal self, so what was the point?

He wrapped his own arms around Thomas and hugged him back, accidentally touching one of his cuts.Thomas flinched and hissed in pain, but didn't remove his tight grip. Newt sobbed, readjusting his arms to an unharmed area. He wanted to kill whoever had created the Greivers. He wanted to kill the Creators for hurting his Tommy.

"Shhhh...Newt...It's okay...You're going to be okay...I promise." Thomas patted and rubbed Newt's back, soothing him like a mother calms her baby.

They stayed like that for several minutes. Newt, crying into Thomas' shoulder. Thomas, massaging Newt and holding him tight. Then, Newt, his face tear-streaked and dirty, pulled away just far enough to be able to see Thomas' face, which was surprisingly also covered with the marks of gentle tears.

"How can you promise that?" he asked gently, referring to Thomas' previous statement.

"I can't promise, but I'll do my best to keep you safe." He smiled softly and leaned his forehead against Newt's.

"I can take care of my bloody self, shucking Greenie," Newt laughed trhough his tears.

The next thing he knew, warm, soft lips were pressed against his own. Newt responded immediately, moving his lips fervently with Tommy's, his hands snaking up into Tommy's hair. He decided to be bold, so he stuck his tongue out and licked at Thomas' mouth, requesting entrance. It was quickly given and their tongues battled for dominance in the kiss - Newt finally giving up to let Thomas explore his mouth. They were both overcome entirely with passion and lust as a result of their pain - both physical and emotional - but eventually Newt pulled away, and they collapsed onto the ground, leaning against each other and gasping for breath.

Thomas was the first to speak.

"I like you, Newt," he said, looking down and playing with Newt's fingers, his face turning a deep shade of crimson.

"I bloody like you too, Tommy," Newt laughed as he admired Thomas' adorable face.

"Well," he said, standing up, "I would love to continue this, but we should really both be getting to the shucking Medjacks to get cleaned up."

Thomas said nothing and surprisingly his blush darkened even more. Newt wondered where the shuck this shy, bashful Tommy had come from. Not that he was complaining, though. It was adorable.

He held out a hand and pulled Thomas up, and they began walking to the Homestead hand-in-hand, Newt having forgotten entirely his early encounter with Gally in his bliss.

Ahhhh...I finally updated!!!! I'm so sorry for the wait...I ended up being away from the computer a lot longer than originally planned...oops. But to make up for it and that last cliffhanger, I present you with some crappy Newtmas!!!! But with all of this happiness in this chapter, there's gonna be some drama coming up...dun dun dun...Really, though, I love you all so much! Thank you for reading and voting and commenting! I appreciate it way more than you know!

Have a great day, morning, evening, night, afternoon, noon, etc.

-Anna (red7717)