The Eyes Of An Artist

Chapter 18

That night I saw Tom again. We had been talking about meeting up and he invited me to have dinner at his house. The next day I had to go to the university so I couldn't stay for the night.

- Hey - he said to me when he met me at the entrance of the building. He smelled like cigarettes and coffee, I liked it. He usually smelled like coffee or perfume because he wasn't an actual smoker. He smoked sometimes and most of those times were with me. It was one of our little things, to have a cigarette together.
- Hey baby - I said to him and he hugged me.

We ate watching a movie and all of the sudden my head started feeling heavy. I felt extremely tired and I didn't know why. My head fell onto his shoulder and he kissed me on the forehead. I felt that he loved me very much.

That night his dad was out and I decided that I was going to skip the next day of university. I felt like spending time with Tom and on Thursday I only had one subject that I didn't find difficult so it was fine.

After I slept for a while on the couch with him he told me that we could improvise a little with the guitar and cello. A bottle of wine helped us create some amazing songs. I loved to make music with him, sometimes it felt like making love to him but on another level. I felt like we were more intimate while combining our voices, chords, words and emotions than when we were having sex. Other times it was the way around, both things connected us a lot.
After playing for a while he showed me his room, he had been decorating it.
We decided to make a drawing suddenly. I told him I was loving painting classes and that I wanted to try drawing with him. So we started sketching random things on the same page. We laughed a lot because sometimes we would interrupt our drawings. For example he was drawing a woman and I made her a beard, he laughed and then he started ruining my drawings.

I loved to see him laugh, I felt that his heart was happy when he laughed.
After drawing for a while we put some music and layed on his bed looking at the roof.
- You know being a dad doesn't feel so weird if it's with you - he said. After a while of silence. I looked at him and met his brown pretty eyes. I caressed his cheek and kissed him on the nose and then on the lips.
- Yes, same thing happens to me. It doesn't feel so weird to me if it's with you - I said.
- Hey but wait! I'm not suggesting anything, children are for later, just saying... I wouldn't mind having them with you, that's what I meant - he said turning a little panicky.
- I know baby - I said laughing. And then I said, faking a little of offense,
- You wouldn't mind having them with me? It's kind of like a job to have children with me?
He smiled because he knew I was joking.
- I love you Hannah, that could never be a job to me - he said after a while.

Then after a while we fell asleep in his room. I loved the sound of his breathing while I slept next to him or feeling the soft beat of his heart whenever I layed my head on his chest.

When we woke up it was around four in the morning. He kissed me and we hugged for a while. Then the kisses got a little more intense and he started moving on top of my body.
He knew how to make me feel pleasure and I loved that he wanted me to have a nice time also, he cared about me.
He started kissing my neck while his hands explored my breasts. Then his lips went lower and he played a little with my nipples. My breathing got heavier while his body felt warmer against mine.
Then he gently moved one of his hands towards my stomach while he used the other one to hold my neck during the kissing.
His fingers felt me and then he was fingering me while I had the sensation of needing nothing else.
In a split second his lips moved towards my stomach and then he led his mouth between my thies. He knew how to use his tounge and how to reach certain areas that made me loose my breath.

Then his lips were in mine again and suddenly I felt him inside of me.
We made love for a while. This time obviously using protection. And when we were tired already he hugged me with arms and brought me close to his body. Then he whispered into my right ear,
- I love you -. I replied to him saying that I loved him too and then I fell asleep.

That night I had another dream that disturbed my mind again. And this time I felt extremely guilty because I had it while I was sleeping between my boyfriend's arms.
This dream wasn't as complex as the last one, it was actually a lot more...easy to understand, no second meanings or anything like that.

In this dream Evelyn was painting and I couldn't see exactly what she was painting. Then I realized that she was painting herself and that her body was completley naked.
I told her in the dream,
- What the fuck? Put something on yourself weirdo.
She started laughing in a tender way after I said that to her. Then she started painting me and when I looked at myself I saw that I was naked too. I painted her back and we had this dumb game of painting eachother until she grabbed gently my wrists and pressed her lips onto mine. The kissing got each time more intense and I felt this dream very real. I could feel her lips, her breath, her mouth and tounge touching mine while she kept on kissing and kissing me.

I woke up completely ashamed and in that exact moment I decided to never go back to painting classes. I couldn't see her again.

Tom was still asleep when I woke up and when I saw him I knew that I only wanted to be with him.