I Need You

Inside

Beth

I hear quiet footsteps and soft rustling, my eyes flutter open to see Daryl getting dressed. I yawn and stretch. "Good morning."

He looks over at me. "Mornin'."

I lift myself up to sit in bed. I watch him tug on his sock and boots in silence. The dread of today is already thick in the air. "Are we ready for today?"

He shrugs. "As ready as we can be."

I nod in understanding. We've been through a lot as a group but we haven't never faced a herd this big before, let alone, tried to lead them away from our home. The Alexandrians have had very little walker activity thanks to the quarry. They are still learning about walkers and the state of the world as it exists now. I worry about them and their inexperience. "Are they ready?"

Daryl's eyes are knowing. "If they ain't, that's what the dry run was for yesterday."

Again I nod at him. According to everyone, the dry run went without a hitch. Rick was able to explain every part of the plan in perfect detail at every location. Daryl, Sasha and Abraham drove their route to be sure they knew exactly where the 20 mile marker was and to double check there were no new obstacles that had appeared on their path. Everyone was home by lunch, claiming their were all set for today. As happy as the news made me that the dry run went well. It also unsettled me. Nothing runs that smoothly anymore. It was just a dry run. I remind myself of that fact again and again. Today would be the real test.

Daryl's eyes watch me closely. He must can tell I'm deep in thought. He adds, reassuringly, "After today it'll all be over."

I know he's right. But I am nervous. I don't want him to go. He's done small runs since we decided I'm staying here but he was doing normal runs then. There was no reason to worry. He can handle normal runs. This time he is going to be leading hundreds of walkers away. If one thing goes wrong, he's in danger. He's more than capable but what if he bit off more than he can chew. How is he, Sasha, and Abraham going to be able to escape that many walkers? I try to focus on the positive. To have some faith. It'll all work out. He's nervous too. I can tell by his twitching and inability to stay still.

"How long do we have?" I ask him.

He shrugs. "'Bout an hour."

I open my arms. "Then come here."

I need the touch and the connection to him. He lays down and puts his head on my chest, holding me close. He must need it too. I can feel all the tension leave his body as soon as he is in my arms. We stay like that, me holding him, for a long time. Every now and then I'll move the fingers that I have in his hair or he'll rub my lower back. We don't speak. We just hold each other, drinking in each other's presence.

Eventually he sits up and rubs my cheek. His lips touch mine with such delicacy like he's afraid of shattering the atmosphere we've created. He pulls away. His voice is barely a whisper. "Sing for me?"

"What do ya want to hear?" I whisper back.

"Something ya wrote for me." He asked for one of my songs yesterday too. But I refused. Telling him if he kept going at this rate, he'd hear all my songs before the end of the week. He quipped something like I can't help it, I'm your biggest fan. I can't refuse him now. I know just the song. It's dangerous, vulnerable but he's about to leave and he deserves to know how I feel before he goes.

I kiss his nose. "Okay honey."

He holds one of my hands and waits patiently for me to begin.

Nobody likes us at this party