Broken Kingdom

15

I wish I could say the days blended together. They didn't. Morfran was still present, and at times, watching me. He, at one point, invited himself to one of my training sessions with Thomas, stating he wants to see me work.
Thomas and I were distant to each other, and after a week, he once again tried to run away, forgetting I had blocked off the pathways with my shadows. He, Wessel and Nolan seemed to avoid each other, a bit obvious. The glances, the sudden turn-around when one of the others were in the same room, the ignoring each other's existence got obvious. I had joined one dinner, on Morfran's request of course, where Thomas and Wessel didn't even breathe towards the same direction.
General Holden and Nolan together were the worst. After I'd delivered my rapport to Nolan, they inquired my opinion for everything they were thinking up. Holden had dragged me towards the prisoners, let me do my thing, and we'd both been disappointed. They knew too little. The smallest details I noted. They always got a letter on expensive paper. They were always in groups of eleven. The Silver Night Guards were all for magic, so groups of eleven were their way of honoring the eleven gods. The rebels got the Waraine the second they joined. They were warned about me when they joined. Information that wasn't useful now.

Today it seemed, after ten days of being pulled in five different direction, was going to be quiet. Haelyn was going to visit her half-brother, bastard born son of a Lord. Thomas came along, and they both requested me there. Morfran remained in the castle, packing his belongings and winding down before resuming his travels to Drosera tomorrow morning. It had been too long. I couldn't relax when I knew he was in the same building as me. Right now, riding on Amaris, I was still tense. I rode in the far back, behind the Royal Guards that were surrounding the carriage. After three hours, we stopped, letting the horses rest, eat and drink. I remained alert, my eyes darting everywhere. Thomas sat down next to me.

"Why are you so tense?" he asks me.
"I have my reasons," I simply answer, not wanting to get into it.
"That I guessed. What are they? Does it have to do with the King?" He whispers the last words, carefully looking around the field.
"Partly. I neither like nor trust him. Something is off about him."
"So what's the other part?"
"A thought for a thought. Nolan and Holden are constantly breathing down my neck, it's suffocating. Now you. You've been avoiding everyone, returning to your old habits."
"I'm not..." I give him a hardened stare.
"A thought for a thought. In all honesty. Why are you keeping everyone at arms length?"
"Tomorrow is my father's birthday. Usually, I would ride with him to this spring in the middle of the woods. We'd pack food and just stayed there for the entire day. And for eight years now, I can't. So mom gives me extra lessons or something, to distract me. That just makes it worse. So much worse."

"That I can understand," I whisper after a few minutes in silence.
"When did you lose your father?" he whispers back.
"When I was twelve. I never knew my mother."
"What happened to you after his passing?"
"I was on my own. I left the city after I couldn't find a job, started hunting, surviving. My father had once taught me the basics, so I improved quickly. Managed to survive."
"How long were you alone?"
"Two years before Sorin found me, a year later did I start as his student."
"You were on your own for three years?"
"Sorin tried to help. I refused at first. Eventually I let him help me as long as I could do something in return. And when I captured him, he offered me the position."

Thomas looked at me with something like disbelief. I didn't try to hide the pain I felt. That first year in Ascana had been hell for me, Caspen, and the twins. Adjusting to not using our powers, to hiding our identities, to lying, not raising suspicion. I was terrified when Sorin found us. Luckily, he saw that we weren't there to cause trouble, but to find freedom. He helped us find the cottage, offered to train me, which I refused at first, and eventually became his student. I hated that I only had three years with him. He was a Protector through and through, arrogant and self-absorbed at times, but he knew a truth only I know. We bonded over it. He brought us food every once in a while, when we couldn't provide for ourselves. Some days he asked me to tag along. And in that time, I was glad I wasn't anywhere near Caspen. We fought almost daily back then. We each had our own pain to deal with.