it happens on the rugby field Heartstopper

dead?

I went home today, I was so tired from everything, and my mother went to Charlie's hospital. She tries to talk to him about everything and explain to him that a feeding tube is the only option we have, but also that he can't go home anymore because of Jane and that he has to live somewhere else. But no matter what my mother tries, Charlie keeps saying that he doesn't want to fight and is done with life. He doesn't want to live anywhere else and he doesn't want a feeding tube, he said goodbye to me for good when I left. Because his last ones were I love you but you don't have to come back anymore, goodbye dearest. I closed the door and all I could do was cry. Char, my friends, who was so eager to fight, has now given up and no longer wants to live. I wish I could take away the pain but unfortunately I can't. The thought doesn't leave my mind so I can't really sleep at the moment. I write in my diary again and talk to Nellie. But if it really all works, I don't think so. I am very scared but I have nowhere to express it. And in a way I also understand Charlie, if you are so destroyed by your own mother and you don't know love, where would you look for it and what would you fight for?