Heartless Love

Chapter 6- Nothing's Gonna Hurt You

Clara's POV

"Callah- " I was interrupted.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Clara. I should've never brought you there and I really shouldn't have got violent in front of you. You probably don't feel comfortable so if you want to go home I'll take you there."

"I can't go home, remember? I'll just find a place to crash. Maybe Jolie is home?" I looked down at my phone.

He never answered but he wasn't driving me home, that's for sure.

We pulled into an expensive hotel parking lot and he turned off the engine. 

"Callahan I can't afford this. Why'd you take me here?"

"If you can't be at home I'm going to make sure you're comfortable here."

He got out of the car and opened my door for me. Before we entered he grabbed a duffle bag from his trunk.

We walked in the lobby and he went to the counter to get a room.

"Hey Cal! How's it going, dude!" The deskman greeted him meaning the two were familiar.

"Can you hook me up with a room. I know it's a little last minute but it's just for tonight." Callahan pulled out a hunk of cash and the guy quickly handed him a keycard.

We got on the elevator and found the room.

It was too awkward to ask about his relationship with the guy downstairs so I just sat on the bed and looked at him.

Callahan's POV

"Clara, do you mind if I rinse off in the bathroom and then I promise I'll leave you alone here." I asked. I was so mentally exhausted from all the stupid shit I said to her that caused this whole situation.

"You paid for the room so it's yours too." She never stop looking at me since the time we got here.

Did she think I was going to hurt her?

I shut the door and leaned against the wall, my face sinking in my hands.

I sighed heavily and started the water.

I stripped down to my underwear, waiting for the water to fill up. I stared at myself in the mirror, tears forming in my eyes. I was a fucking monster.

Is she going to leave me here? Does she even want me now? Does she think I'm going to hurt her?

A million thoughts ran through my head. I couldn't loose Clara. I'm not good for her. I'm only going to break her heart.

I leaned against the wall again, sliding down until I hit the floor. I started quietly sobbing into my crossed arms, hoping Clara wouldn't hear me.

My breaths from crying echoed in the room.

I didn't do a good enough job of being quiet. There was a light knock on the door,

"Cal? Can I come in?"

I stood up quickly and cleared my throat while wiping my eyes.

"Yeah..."

She slowly opened the door and her head peaked through the opening,

"Are you decent? I mean... I guess it doesn't really matter."

She giggled softly.

"Yeah"

She came in and I tried to not let her see my face but my body was shaking so it was useless.

"Hey, look at me. Are you okay? Are you crying?"

She seemed genuinely concerned but I wasn't going to admit that I was crying like a baby.

"No..."

My voice was weak and it was a huge give away.

"You know you can talk to me right?"

The tears were falling down my cheeks as I gave in and turned around.

"Oh Cal..." She whispered and her eyes got glossy from the sight of me.

She hugged me tightly, raising her hand to my face and wiping my tears with her thumb.

"What's going on? Is it because of your roommates? I promise I'm not mad anymore." She tried to give me a promising smile.

"No Clara, it's because I can't loose you. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you. You're right I can't breathe when I'm not touching you. I constantly think about you day and night." I left her and stopped the shower.

I sat on the edge of the tub, there was still steam from the hot water filling the air.

She came over and sat on the floor next to me, rubbing my knee to comfort me.

"Cal, I don't know what I would do without you, like I said, my brother isn't going to keep me from you. I don't know what else to say that will convince you that I'm not going anywhere."

I slid down on the floor next to her and she embraced me gently.

But I'm so bad for you Clara. I can't contain my anger, even around you now...

I felt her thumb stroking the back of my head as she settled her head into my neck. I could feel little drops of water hit my shoulder.

"Well I should probably let you shower now, I'll be waiting for you when you get out, I promise. You can talk to me or say nothing at all if you'd like." She squeezed me tight one last time.

"Thanks, Clara." I lightly kissed her head.

I seriously don't know what I would've done if she hadn't come in.

She smiled and walked out, shutting the door behind her.

I returned to my shower, fully stripping down, and stepping into the tub.

I let the hot water melt away all of my worries. I tried to convince myself I was worth Clara's love but I couldn't fully convince myself still.

I stepped out of the tub, letting the water run off of me as I grabbed a towel from the shelf under the sink. I dried off and put my spare clothes on.

I had enough clothing in my bag for 2 or 3 days. I'm going to see if I can stay here until I can find a new apartment. It's not like I could go back now.

I came out of the bathroom and flopped onto the queen bed next to Clara who was watching television.

"Well, are you going to come closer or what? I promise I don't have cooties." She turned the Tv off and looked at me with those big, blue, eyes.

I pulled myself up to Clara's side, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her closer. Our feel slowly met and entangled.

Her face was pointed towards mine. She took her hand and played with my hair, I shut my eyes taking in her touch.

I flipped her onto her side, facing me, and pulled her in so I had a strong hold on her. She really wasn't going anywhere.

I returned the favor and played with her hair as she held my free hand. We didn't say anything but I don't think words were needed.

Her breathing slowed and I realized she had fallen asleep.

I took a moment to admire her, she was so calm.

Maybe she did feel safe with me.