Anastasia

Early One Morning

The party dined at Avondale in the evening. When the ladies had retired to the drawing room and were then joined by the gentlemen, Anastasia hovered around the room, waiting for a chance to speak to James, but her attempts were fruitless. He spoke only to Lord Adlington, Lord Priston and Lord Langworth at first, and when he finally went to get some tea, he was met by Stella and they spent the rest of the night talking quietly apart from everyone else. Anastasia recognised the possible importance of their conversation and contented herself with discussing Adelaide's wedding arrangements with the other ladies instead.

***

It was hot that night. The air was warm and heavy and Anastasia found she could not sleep. It wasn't until several hours after she had retired that she finally fell into a light slumber, only to wake again when the dawn chorus began, the incessant chirping and singing making a great racket. She groaned, wishing she'd slept more deeply and not been woken. Unable to lie awake in bed much longer without becoming excessively restless, she got up, dressed as best she could by herself, disregarded her hair entirely and crept out of the house.

It occurred to her, as she marched through the dewy grass and into the trees, that the last time she had been on such a walk, she had been trying to clear her head, after overhearing her talk of her father's great loss of fortune. It was then that she had stumbled upon -

"James?"

It had not happened quite like the last time. He was sitting at the foot of a tree by the brook, apparently only staring at the quickly-flowing water. She had come across him this time. And she had surprised him.

He looked up, startled. "Anastasia!"

She smiled timidly, fingering her hair, which was tumbling, untamed, around her shoulders. Why had she not tied it back? It would only have taken another minute to do a simple knot.

"Wh - What are you doing here?" she asked diffidently.

"I - er - I came to think. You do not mind, I hope?" He looked almost worried.

"Why should I mind? You are always welcome here, you know that. It is a good place to sit and reflect." Taking a decision, she swept up her skirts and settled beside him. She relaxed, her initial surprise having passed. "What were you thinking about?"

"Oh, nothing for you to concern yourself with," he said quietly, looking distinctly uncomfortable now that she was so close.

Anastasia frowned. "You've been avoiding me, James."

"I thought it would be best," he muttered.

"I wanted to speak to you, but you've made it very difficult."

"I am sorry."

Anastasia, unlike James, was entirely free of any embarrassment or discomfort, and began, "Well, I've been granted an opportunity and I shall take it. I wanted to say that I'm sorry for not ever speaking to you after the day of the rally. The truth is, I was so... so confused. I thought it was wrong that I should rely on anyone, especially a man. And yet, I was not sorry about what happened - and so glad you came when you did. I am grateful to you for it, I hope that is clear."

He softened. "I am relieved you are not angry. I was afraid I had offended you too greatly for you to forgive me."

"I am sorry for that, but I assure you it is not the case. That is twice now you have saved me...and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to repay you for it."

James smiled ruefully. "I suppose I should do the gallant thing and say there is no form of payment that would equal the knowledge that you are safe and well."