Is This Love? | Hailee Steinfeld x fem reader

Clarity

Your POV

It's been a few chapters and Hailee and Taylor are still upstairs. I'm trying to read but I just can't stop thinking about what Hailee said: "She's just a New York friend." I know our relationship isn't the most easy but am I just a friend to her? Is that all I am to her?

I quickly get pulled out of my thoughts as I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. I look up from my book and take off my glasses. "Sorry bout that." Hailee whispers "Don't worry bout it. It seemed urgent." "Right yeah. Uh Yn this is Taylor. Taylor this is Yn." Hailee introduces us to each other

"Nice to finally meet you Yn. Hailee talks about you a lot." Taylor says with a small grin on her face. I look over at Hailee who's trying to avoid eye contact. Did Hailee tell Taylor about what happened this morning? "Yeah right nice to finally meet you too," I say, and then the awkward silence grows

"Uh, I should go I have a lot of work to get done. But it was lovely to meet you Yn, really." Taylor says "You too. Bye." I say before she lets herself out leaving me and Hailee alone in the awkward silence.

"Hailee about this morning-" "I'm sorry," Hailee says cutting me off as she comes and sits next to me on the couch with a sincere look in her eyes. "I panicked, and I shouldn't have left like that. It's just when things felt... different, I got scared. And I know that's not an excuse cause it seems like I only leave you which isn't my goal. I don't wanna leave you Yn you mean a lot to me." She says opening up to me which she has never done before

"It's oke Hailee, look it can be scary and I know that you didn't Mena to leave I know that." "Yn don't say that it's ok cause it's not. You're too good for this world. You're too good for me. You keep forgiving me even though I keep leaving you, which isn't right." "Don't say that Hailee, don't say I'm not too good for you. And look I know I keep forgiving you and that's just me Hailee. I know I can try as hard as I want trying not to forgive you and tell you to fuck off. But I can't Hailee I can't and I know you've hurt me before but I keep coming back to you and I don't know why." I say before taking a deep breath

"Yn I really like you I really do. But every time I try to make it up to you for leaving you, I just ruin it more. And I keep asking myself why I even keep trying to make it up to you cause all I do is mess up things more and more between us. But then I realized that I really like you, like I'd do anything for you at this point that's how in love with you I am." She says leaving me speechless

"Yn I'm in love with you. And I have to be honest with you I've never been in love with anyone else like I'm in love with you. You mean everything to me Yn and I can't lose you. And I know I'll probably mess up a lot of things between us but I wanna try, I really wanna try. But only if you feel the same and if you're on the same page as me." She says whispering the lays part like she's scared I don't want her anymore

"Hailee look I know I really like you too. But you have to know that if we try this I can't have you run off whenever you're scared or whenever you feel like it." "I won't run off anymore I promise you that I'll stay right here. So is that a yes?" "Yeah but can we please take it slow? I don't wanna rush anything that can lead to me losing you again." "Of course yeah we'll move on your pace." "Thank you," I whisper and then it's silent again but not the awkward kindling silence.

"Are you hungry?" She asks "god I'm starving," I say which makes both of us laugh a bit "What would you like to eat?" "I don't know what do you have?" "I have cereal.... Look I have to be honest with you I'm not the best cook alright." "You're kidding right?" "No..." "How am I gonna survive here a week then?" "I don't know I mean we could go out and eat." "Yeah hell no that's expensive. Do you like an omelet?" "Who doesn't?" She asks which makes me grin a bit before getting up and walking to her kitchen. "Wait what are you doing?" She asks getting up too and following me as I start to look into her kitchen cabinets." "Where are your pans?" "Wait Yn hold on for a second what are you doing? Why do you need pans?"

"I'm cooking. I don't know if you knew this already but you have a chef in your house." I say and she laughs "You're a chef? Oke go on let's see then how good of a cook you are" "Is that a challenge?" I ask with a grin which just makes her smile "I guess it is now, pans are in the bottom drawer on your left." "Challenge accepted." I say as I start to make two omelets and while I'm cooking she just takes a seat at the island and watches me with a small smile on her face that's really cute.

After a few minutes I'm done and so I plate the food before giving her one plate as I just watch her take a bite "Omg Yn. What's in this?" She asks which scares me "Uh egg, celery, some cheese, and other things why? Is it that bad?" I ask "Oh no it's fucking amazing. Where do you learn to cook like this girl?" "My father learned me." "Well thank your father for me." "I think he heard" "What do you mean? Omg, is he-? Shot I'm sorry I didn't know." She says starting to panic which makes me laugh a bit

"He's not dead just so you know." I say starting to laugh my ass off but she doesn't think it's funny so I calm myself down "That's not something to joke about Yn." "Well, I never said he was dead I only said he heard. Cause he always says he's always with me in my heart." "Oke still next time don't put me in that situation oke." "Oh, I'm sorry. But you had to see your reaction. It was kinda hilarious seeing you freak out bout it."

"Oke fine it kinda was a good one. So is there anyone else in your family dead who I should know bout?" "Uh let's see my grandma is dead but I never really saw her. Oh, and my mom, well she's not literally dead but she's dead to me. But no other than that everyone in my family is still alive and well. At least I hope so I haven't talked to most of my family in ages. I think they think I'm dead." I say which just makes her laugh a bit

"What about you? Someone I should know about?" "Not really you practically saw my family I have other family too but I don't see them often cause I'm pretty busy." "Alright, I can live with that. Anyways question earlier you told Taylor I was just a New York friend. Am I still just a New York friend? Cause you introduced me to your family like that too." "No you're not just a New York friend Yn and you know that. You're way more than that." She says getting up and starting to walk around the kitchen island to me

"Why am I not just a New York friend then?" "Cause I don't get as nervous as I do with you, I don't get lost in my friends' eyes like I get lost in your eyes. I wouldn't do anything for my friends the way I'd do anything for you. I'm not in love with my friends the way I'm in love with you." She says coming to stand in front of me and slowly coming closer which makes me back up until I hit the kitchen counter behind me.

"I'm not like this when I'm with my friends. They don't make me feel things the way you do Yn." She whispers to me as she comes really close. And I know that we're taking things slow but the effect she has on me right now... right now I wish I wouldn't have asked to take things slow.

"I'm sorry." She whispers backing up as soon as she realizes what just happened "It's alright. So what are we doing this week again?" I say which makes her smile and I can see she's thankful that I changed the subject and didn't make it awkward. But god this woman... how is this woman even real?

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An: Happy New Year's Eve everyone. Hope y'all had a wonderful Christmas and I hope everyone has a happy new year. And let's hope for a good new year coming up.  Just 8 hours left till 2024. See you next year guys. : )

Happy holidays everyone.

PS: I know I keep apologizing for not updating much, I'm just having a hard time writing this. Also, I'm working on other books that I hope I can upload soon (it'll still be a long time before I have them finished). Let me know what you like to read and I'll try to put it in.