Is This Love? | Hailee Steinfeld x fem reader

Realization

                               Hailee's POV
"Oke now let's go Tay you can meet her after," I say before grabbing her hand and dragging her upstairs with me into my bedroom. When we're in my bedroom I close the door behind us before letting her hand go.

"What's up with you? You told me it was urgent but I didn't expect you to be in this state of your life crisis." She jokes around and even though it's kinda funny and I wanna laugh, I can't get Yn out of my head and what happened between us this morning.

"Oh oh, you didn't laugh. What's the matter, Hailee? You always laugh at my comments. Who hurt you? I'll kill them and you know that." "Nobody hurt me except myself," I say taking a seat on the end of my bed and she then comes and sits next to me

"Whatever it is I'm here for you and you know that otherwise you wouldn't have called me. Now what is it?" "I think I messed up again. I'm terrible at this stuff Taylor. I don't have the touch that I used to have. It like disappeared and now I'm just ruining everything." "What are you talking about? What spark did you lose Hailee?"

"Do you remember Yn?" I ask looking up at her "You mean Yn the woman who you fell in love with in New York but then left for some reason. You mean the woman who you cried over for a year straight, you mean the woman who-" she says but I cut her off "Yeah her you get the point so stop now please." "Yeah of course I know her. Well, not literally cause I never saw her or met her but yeah I know who you're talking about. What's up with her?"

"Well..." "Hailee? What did you do?" "I sort of kind of bumped into her when I was in New York for the premier." "No way. And? Was she still the same? Wait, why didn't I know this till now?!" She asks standing up "Cause I've been going through a lot the past couple of days and it's only adding up and I can't handle it anymore Taylor. It's becoming too much for me to handle it on my own." I say

"Right yeah, oke. So you bumped into her in New York. What else happened? Did you two get a chance to talk or what?" She asks coming to sit back next to me." "We did yeah. I gave her the last letter I wrote the night before and then she left. Later that night she called me up to ask me to come over, so I did but when I arrived she was asleep and I was talking to her best friend and she was pissed at me for hurting Yn like that. She told me she had never seen Yn that heartbroken before..."

"Oh shit she beat you up didn't she?" "No, she didn't, I explained everything to her why I left and stuff and she sort of forgave me but she told me Yn probably would never forgive me and if she did, that I'd be lucky," I say taking a deep breath "Then basically I spend the night at their apartment. Yn was already asleep when I entered her room so I just fell asleep next to her after I stared at her for a bit too long. But then the next morning we had a chat and I asked her to come with me to LA..." I explain and without saying anything else I can see by the look on Taylor's face that she's putting the puzzle pieces together.

"Hailee pleas, pleas tell me that the woman downstairs isn't Yn... cause if she is her I'm going to kill you and I won't be sorry." She says a bit mad but I don't say anything. She immediately stands up and starts to pace around while running her fingers through her hair

"Oh god, Hailee. I'm sorry but are you fucking dumb?! Are you really that stupid?!" She asks in a whisper yell "What?" "Seriously?! You're telling me that THE Yn from New York is right now this second in your house downstairs on your couch reading a book?!" She asks and I slightly nod scared of what she'll say next

"Oh god, Hailee. No no no what did you do?" She asks "Taylor I'm not following anymore." I say she takes a deep breath before coming to sit back next to me and looking at me with a soft smile that kinda scares me. "Hailee you know I love you right?" "Yeah, I do and I love you too. Why are you saying this?" "Cause I need to remind myself of it 'cause if you weren't my best friend I would have beaten the shit out of you, no joke. And I know your smart and all but you just made the dumbest mistake in your entire life." "Taylor! I don't get it! What did I do wrong?! See this is what I mean by losing the spark. Everything I do with her, I just mess things up more. I don't even know why I'm trying to win her back. I'm just losing her more and more."