Is This Love? | Hailee Steinfeld x fem reader

The Call

I hit the call button and let it ring...

It takes so long. She's probably asleep. Or maybe she just doesn't wanna speak to me. I think to myself and just as I thought those things she picks up. Shit shit shit what do I say?

I look up at Lexi and she's gesturing me to talk. I put my phone to my ear and that's when I hear the angelic voice. The only voice I could listen to for hours. The only voice that manages to calm me down.

"Hello?" She asks in a sleepy voice. Shit, I woke her up. "Hailee," I whisper, That's all that I could say. Why am I calling her anyway? To tell her I want her back? To tell her to miss her? This was a big mistake. Shit.

"Oh hey. Are you oke? Why are you calling me in the middle of the night? Are you hurt? Please tell me your oke Yn." She says and now she sounds like she's fully awake. "I'm- I'm ok," I whisper. "Yn, look I know I hurt you and I'm sorry. But that doesn't mean that you can't tell me. I'm here for you you can tell me anything." She whispers and I'm trying to hold back the tears. She's still there for me. She's worried about me.

It gets quiet on the phone and we don't say anything. "Send me your address and I'll come over." She says in a calm voice but I can hear how worried she is. "No no, you need to go to sleep. Sorry, I bothered you." I ramble off before hanging up and throwing my phone onto my bed

"What happened? What did she say?" Lexi asks "She asked to come over but I hung up." I say as a small tear rolls down my cheek knowing that if I hadn't hung up she would have come over and hugged me. And just thinking about her warm hug really hurts. Suddenly Luna grabs my phone and starts to type

"What are you doing?" I ask panicking. "Sending the love of your life the address so she can come over. You need her." She says "No No. Why would you do that?!" I ask panicking.

"You'll thank me later." She says before placing my phone on my dresser next to the door and leaving. And before the door closes Nala slips in and jumps on my bed.

"There's no turning back now. Is there?" I whisper to her before lying down so she can come and lay in my arms. I don't let her sleep in my room that often. But right now I need her with me.
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It's the next morning and I really don't wanna go to work today. Suddenly I hear the sound of a heart right under my right ear. And it's going fast. I'm lying on something and it's not Nala cause I don't feel her fur.

I slowly open my eyes but immediately shut them again as the bright sun shines into them. After a little while, I tried again with much more success. Then I look up only to see Hailee lying next to me wide awake and smiling a little at me.

My eyes widen at the sight of her. She's really beautiful without any makeup. Wait hold on was I lying on her chest? Was it her heart that was going crazy? No that would be crazy

"Good morning my love." She whispers. Then I realize that her arms are wrapped around my waist and I was half lying on top of her. Wait back to what she called me. Did she just call me her love? No that's crazy. Wait where's Nala?

"She's in the living. " Hailee says knowing what I was gonna ask so I just nod still confused as to how she ended up in my bed. "I came over but when I arrived you were already asleep and Lexi told me you wouldn't mind if I slept with you after she gave me a dead stare. Cause damn if her eyes could kill me I would have been dead the second she opens the door." Hailee explains like she can read my mind. And the part about Lexi makes me laugh a bit.

I let myself lay back on her chest and wow her heart is going crazy. I chuckle a bit hearing how fast it's going. "Well, your lucky she didn't kill you 'cause she told me she would," I say and we both laugh a bit

"Yn?" She whispers to me and I softly humm in response. "Are you ok?" She asks "Right now I am thanks to you." I whisper back "What happened yesterday night?" She asks which makes me let out a small sigh before pushing myself off her. I sit down on my bed facing the headboard and take her letter out of my nightstand. Then I just stare at it. She turns to her side and holds up her head with her left hand.

"You read it huh?" She asks in a soft voice while putting a piece of hair behind my ear so she can see my face better. I gently nod trying not to cry. I know I could cry if I wanted but I don't wanna cry in front of Hailee. Just thinking about her words in the letter makes me wanna cry.

"Why? Why did you write this?" I ask swallowing big before looking at her. "Cause I miss you. Cause I regret leaving and hurting you. If I could I would go back to that day and then I would never get on that plane. I wouldn't leave you. But I can't turn time back. I can only try and change the future and hope you'll be in it" she whispers

"Then why did you leave me?" I ask her and then it gets quiet. She goes and lays on her back and just looks everywhere but me. "Hailee . I need to know." I whisper to her

"I don't know Yn. I just panicked I guess." She whispers before turning her head and looking into my eyes and I can see how sorry she is. And I know that I should be mad at her for leaving me...

But somehow I can't. Seeing her lying like this in my bed. Knowing she came over cause she was worried about me and remembering the days we spent together. It just makes it impossible to hate her... she's so perfect. She's everything anyone would dream of.

She's got the most beautiful eyes, perfect lips. The perfect and softest hair in. The world. She's got the personality, and the smile. She's got everything everyone would ever dream of.

"What?" she asks me in the softest voice. Oh right, I forgot to add, she has the most amazing voice. "I'm trying to stay mad at you but somehow I can't." I whisper to her "Why not? You should be mad at me. Do you remember what I did to you?" She asks laying back on her left side and holding her head up with her left hand

"I know. But I can't. I can't stay mad at you Hailee. Cause when I try to be mad at you, I get reminded of how perfect you are." I say and she chuckles a bit by the last part "Me perfect? Pleas Yn I'm far from perfect." She says smiling a bit but I stay serious

"To me, you are perfect Hailee," I whisper and then her smile slowly fades. It gets quiet, real quiet. We're just staring at each other not wanting to say a thing. And it's not the awkward silence it's the pleasant one. I can't help but shoot a look at her lips. It's been so long since I felt her lips against mine. Would they still be as soft as two years ago? Would they still taste the same?

When I look back up at her eyes I see her gaze drop to my lips before looking back up at me... I really wanna kiss her right now. Should I? What if she leaves again? Is this worth it losing her again? Fuck it

I slowly lean in and she does the exact same. We're only a few inches apart from each other. I can feel her warm breaths hit my lips. I lean in a little more so our lips are barely touching and they brush against each other. After a few seconds, I decided to go for it. I lean in more and then...

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An: I'm sorry for not updating so often. I'm quite busy. Thank you to everyone who's still here I appreciate it. : )