Winter Emptiness

Chapter 7: disappointment and anger

Time skip of 10 years:

October year 25: years has passed and life is getting better, I m having a happy life with my loving husband and my son, trying to deal with work, my family and my illness wasn't easy at all , but I got my support, with experience in accounting I was very known in the society for my dedication to it even if my husband advised to quit it because of my paranoia and stress but I didn't mind him even if I never liked my job or even the fact I studied accounting and wasted years of my living over something that is killing me which made me feel selfish cause I only wanted that job for money.

My son is a genius and I can admit, a sweet and lovable boy, as someone who considers past as something defining us I give a huge importance to his education I want him to be happy and I learned to him how to be selfish, even if my husband was absolutely against, explaining to him how we live in a society where there is no pity at the age of 6 was probably too soon for him. I gave him freedom but not as much he is still 9 and he is learning, knowledge was the biggest part of his education cause for me a logical human being should dedicate his living to knowledge to surpass others. The only issue is my sudden paranoia attack making me feel irritated which makes him scared. For my husband he is learning him how to be a man , my son was always a helper to his father and I was glad seeing them together, I wouldn't mind hearing him saying "my dad is better than my mom" it's better than hating them both. I m the stressed realistic mother while my husband is the calm logical father: the perfect balance. A kid is always tend to ask questions for his curiosity which I tried my best to answer but one question that I never answered is "where am I going met your family" meaning my father, mother and siblings. I could never answer to this , in fact I never talked about my family cause they are simply worthless, they were the unique reason why I escaped my house when I was 21, I don't hate them but something is wrong with them. The reason why I call humans selfish or simply fate was the reason why I m with them.

My life got an unforeseen event , as I was sitting trying to help my son with his homework a call interrupted the moment, an unknown number was calling me which I responded, it was my oldest brother calling me: "Hi insignificant idiot my dad died and you should come to the funeral, you still know where is the house" he hanged up the call I became white and pal which made my son panicking and calling my husband, telling him some unknown number informed me of the death of my father. My husband came to me and hugged me , I felt sad and depressed hearing the news, he is still my father even if he treated me like shit, I couldn't talk about what he did to me after all he is just a father and he is excused and I felt sorry for not apologizing too. My son hugged me too and said "I could never imagine my life without dad" my husband started laughing and patted him. I love my small family.

The next day I went to the funeral without my husband and son trying to seem having a single life. As I entered everyone was shocked and started whispering, "still single at that age, she shouldn't have come to this funeral while she is denying them all, isn't she the TV lady..." I smiled and ignored them. I finally saw my big brother "been a while worthless sibling" I said with a smirk, "how is my ignorant sister doing" "better than ever" , my oldest brother was 6 years older than me , he was my biggest trauma and he was so awful, as I was talking to him my little sister saw me and completely ignored , "this is the consequences of your actions you see" I didn't care about him and I started searching for mother , as she saw me she hugged me "I miss you so much mom and I m sorry" "that's alright" I felt her sadness for her and pity .

People will kill you

December year 26: I heard that they divided the heritage without calling me but I didn't care , I was financially stable and I didn't need money.

As I was back from work, I was going upstairs to the apartment until I heard my husband calling my name, I turned to him and he said "some friends of you wants to talk with you" I thought it was just my family wanting to meet again but I joined him , at my surprise it was my college friends the one I called "silly parents" I was so happy to see them again and I sat with them, as I excepted they were both married which made me glad and they had twins, the woman became so much gorgeous and always considerable while her husband was always chill. We talked about life what we became and it feels so good having them in my living . My husband offered them hot chocolate milk and sat with us , he seemed really sociable with them which is not in his nature. That evening was great and that was the best surprise of the year.

At the end of the year we did a double family dinner where they came with their children and have an excellent night, we discussed everything and seeing my child playing with the other kids made me feel proud of me and my husband, he is living what I missed, in my childhood I was alone and isolated due to my strange personality and I wished to have one friend, I thought I was a loner and I will always be one but now I m having a family a lovely man and a loving child, true friends and people who recognize me as me. I suddenly started crying of emotions and my husband became so worried and tried to comfort me and I revealed them everything why am I crying, after all my friends deserves all the trust, we laughed we ate we were truly happy, is my emptiness fulfilled?