Winter Emptiness

Chapter 5: living and fulfilment

Time Skip of 10 years:

      October year 14: 10 years passed since my last appearance, nothing truly changed except I have a stable work, a home by myself and a reputation to maintain. I'm an accountant now, calculating numbers for the sake of a society is a pure routine for me , as a 28 years old I still haven't got my first true relationship, maybe I m not attractive enough I mean I m admitting it I m having an average look for a woman but beauty is subjective, seeing my friends being married and getting each time the "when will you get married" , as someone not dedicating my life to love I hate hearing those words but if I found the one I will accept .My main focus in living is peace of mind , the peace mind seeker is the perfect way you can describe me. I remember as a child we were passing in front of some celebrities, I wasn't shy or something but I didn't like to annoy them even if I was a big fan ,a value that I developed due to my own need. Values and past are truly defining us for who we are, and as soon as something from the past became a regret it turns into a morality and a value.

Maybe I care a lot about judgements.

Sometimes I wonder what happened to me in that random maturity when I was 17,it was unexpected and I started being more logical and more realistic, even my passion changed and I started becoming who am I. But now I m 28 , back when I was 15 and 16 I was rejected by everyone thinking I m too young or not mature enough. What is the true meaning of maturity? Maturity doesn't always means growing up, I can tell you in my whole living I was surrounded by idiots and irrelevant people thinking they own the perfect knowledge, while nobody has it.

My coffee addiction changed my fate as soon I randomly entered a random coffee I never paid attention , the atmosphere was great and I liked the aesthetic, that day I was extremely tired and I was having some works in my laptop so I haven't been focusing so much, when I went to order there was an old woman as a cashier smiling at me , probably having my mom's age , smiled back for courtesy. I sat at a table and the place was pretty chill and cosy , the perfect aesthetic, I knew that it's going to be my favourite coffee shop. I started working in my place and a waiter just gave me a lungo , he smiled and said "a lungo for a darling", I softly blushed and I only saw his lips because I was exhausted, as he went I took a sip of that coffee and felt extremely blessed , a new sensation and a pure relish. All those hours of sleep I missed and my energy were back , I was falling in love , God only knew what I felt, all those tasteless coffee I made in the morning before going to work felt so much worthless in front of that coffee, the barista must have been putting all his heart to make it and I admired his dedication for a simple cup, I was in heaven over a cup of coffee. Coffee is truly amazing and I wanted to thank the man who made it. As I waited for the check, the same man who gave me the cup has came but this time he was more familiar, it was my first and only boyfriend, the guy I was with when I was a teenager, I couldn't believe it , he was more good looking than before purely good-looking , I thanked him for the coffee and he offered me the coffee as a thanks for my words. And since he recognized me he told me to wait for him until the end of his shift, my intuition was good and I wasn't scared , in fact he is a good person and I fully believed that from the first time we talked. One hour later as I finished my work in my laptop he came to me and took my hand, I smiled and the old lady saw us and waved at us, it was 6:15 pm the sunset hour and the beach was 5 minutes near to the place. As we walked we started talking about life and things , the woman working with him is his mom and they made a coffee shop as a family business, as he said before ending his shift he asked his mom if he can hangout with me and she accepted without hesitation since she knew me from the television, she told him to take care of me which made me glad and blush a little bit, I felt like I was with the man ,the way he went asking his mom and taking care of her made him feel considerable which a good quality. I saw how he treated his mom while he was working and before going out he kissed his mom's forehead. What a man.