The Devil's Daughter (Devil's Right Hand MC #4)

Chapter 28

Skillet's POV

~Four Days Later~

I didn't know a person could feel worse than death. You know, now that I think of it, death really isn't a feeling, is it? Death is more of a state of being. A place where you feel nothing. It's the act of dying that's painful. It's the process of transition that every one on this earth is fearful of, even if they won't admit it.

It's been four days. Four. And I feel like I'm dying a slow and painful death. Like my soul is down in the shop while actual demons work out all of their frustrations on it.

Bear hasn't been able to find a single lead since she disappeared into the night. At nights, I don't sleep, I drive all around this goddamn city looking for her. Realistically, the chances of me actually finding her are less than one percent, but they're not zero. I have to cling to any chance,  no matter how slim.

We'll find her.
I can't give up on her.
I won't.

My eyes burn as I stare at the plate of food in front of me. Everyone has been staying close to the clubhouse since Chrissy left, even Clove who looks like death warmed over. It's just what we do when there's a crisis- we band together. Even though everyone is here, it doesn't feel like it usually does. There is no absent chatter or other nonsense, it's just somber silence.

The pizza looks okay, but then it reminds me of the last time we were in my truck. We ate a whole pizza and then she gave me the watch. The fucking watch. I can't even look at it without feeling guilty.

It's my fault she doesn't have more money with her.
It's my fault she's probably hungry right now.
It's my fault we haven't found her yet.

Angrily pushing the paper plate full of pizza away from me, I stand from the barstool and storm outside. I need air. We're all suffocating in that goddamn bar and I can't take it much longer. Blade is handling all of this like he usually does, silently, but I can see how much it's weighing on him. Grace, on the other hand, is utterly heartbroken. She hasn't cooked anything since Chrissy left, which is extremely unlike her. We always joke she missed her calling as a Food Network star, but now she barely eating.

When Chrissy left, she broke all of us.

Even Hazel has been asking about Chrissy nonstop. Shorty finally gave in and told her Chrissy's on vacation and will be back soon.

No matter what it takes, she will be home soon.

Looking around, I realize I'm on the side of the building, three feet away from the spot when would smoke cigarettes together every night. The spot where she kissed me. The place where I started to fall in love with her.

My eyes are so focused on the curb and all of the memories flashing through my mind that I don't realize I'm not alone anymore.

"Hey," Wolf's voice says from behind me.

I don't respond. I don't even turn around to face him. I just keep staring at the curb.

Hell, I haven't even smoked a cigarette in four days because the smell reminds me too much of her. Who knew heartbreak could cure a nicotine addiction?

"I'm not going to ask how you're holding up," he tries again.

Being the stubborn ass I am, I still don't respond. I can't listen to one more person tell me it's all going to be okay. The ache in my soul tells me it's very much not okay right now and the four days with zero leads tells me it will probably stay this way for a while.

"But I know you well enough to know you're blaming yourself," he continues.

Of course I'm blaming myself. This entire thing is my fault.