The Aster Awards 2023 [CLOSED]

: ̗̀➛ SCI-FI

1. Silver Eyes by Ava_night_Writer

Title: 9/10

Cover: 9/10

Blurb: 10/10

Plot: 15/15

Creativity: 15/15

Grammar: 10/15

Characters: 4/5

Interaction with reader: 4/5

Overall enjoyment: 13/15

Total: 89/100

Review:

Your imagery is beautiful and striking; I can see the plot taking shape before my literal eyes. The very first sentence of your story was already compelling. Although readers were not yet familiar with this dystopian world, you've managed to sketch a general idea of the surroundings. The scene in which Grace's brother was withheld from crossing the border despite him having the correct colour is absolutely heart-wrenching. This last part of your first chapter nearly had me balling my eyes out and I was extremely angry at Heather for not helping Grace. This only proves how skilled you are in conveying palpable emotions through inaudible words.

Your worldbuilding is methodically natural as you carefully weave futuristic and post-apocalyptic elements into your narration. Readers are introduced to the Border and Technohumans and Transit Capsules... But I have some questions: What exactly is the job description of a Narval officer? In chapter 7, Heather was assigned to guard the electric tower (which is one of her duties as a Narval Lead) but I would like to know how exactly her presence could have protected the tower during an acid rain storm.

The pacing of your plot seems reasonable enough. Usually, when the protagonist discovers that they have supernatural abilities or must go up against a villain, they first have to fail continuously before they hit the climax and fully master their skills. However, I'm so grateful that you skipped over any tortuous training sessions with Grace and made it that she already excelled in her combat training.

Grace is an emotionally conflicted main character: The incident at the border had filled her with bewilderment and frustration. And it must have had the same effect on your readers. And at some point, she also feels somewhat guilty for enjoying her new life while her brother is probably suffering on the other side of the Border. Heather radiates a solemn and dignified aura in the way that she behaves and speaks, but we also see a sympathetic side to her. Kate has a playful personality considering how she likes to joke around. However, your descriptions of Mark and Laura were brief and stiff. In one part of your story, you directly described Mark as being "colourful" and "vibrant", two qualities that I suggest you try to show (bleeding such information through dialogue and demeanor) instead of stating explicitly.

Your grammar mistakes include comma splices, using the wrong word order, incorrect dialogue punctuation and capitalization. Please remember to assign a different dialogue paragraph to each new speaker.

So far, your book was filled with many different surprises. The mystery factor contributes to the magnetic nature of your story and your dystopian world is highly intriguing.

2. The Eyes of Power by TheWordArtistBooks
(Based on the prologue and first 14 available chapters)

Title: 10/10

Cover: 8/10

Blurb: 9/10

Plot: 15/15

Creativity: 15/15

Grammar: 10/15

Characters: 5/5

Interaction with reader: 3/5