The Cadet's Origin

Chapter Eighteen - Remembrance

Kenna held onto the strap of her bag as she stepped under the fence. She was grateful that Shadis has been pretty given them free reign for what they wanted to do today. There were only two adults that were watching them, and it was clear that they didn't know what to do with the kids who had stayed either.

Kenna walked through the woods and tried to block out all the bad memories that were flooding her brain. One year ago today, the Colossal and Armored Titans had appeared and broke a hole in Wall Maria. A year ago today, she had lost pretty much her entire family in one fell swoop. Her nightmares had been especially horrible last night. Kenna was pretty sure she had only gotten three or four hours of sleep before she woke up. She had run for five hours before going back to sleep. Her brain only allowed her another three hours before another nightmare hit.

By the time she was up for good, everyone had headed into Trost for the Remembrance Parade. Kenna was grateful that Shadis had excused anyone who had been in Shingashina or seen a Titan from going. Kenna was pretty sure it was because he didn't have any idea what to do with the kids who had been traumatized by the Titans, but she wasn't going to complain. He had given them all the freedom to do whatever they wanted for the day. Kenna was going to use the time to be alone. She didn't think she could handle being by anyone.

Kenna came out of the woods and to a small hill that overlooked a lake. Kenna made her way down a path that lead to the lake. Kenna set down her bag as she looked at the crystal blue water of the lake. It looked so peaceful. It had no idea what had happened. It just existed. Kenna went into the woods and started to get to work.

After about thirty minutes of searching the edge of the woods, Kenna had managed to get enough wood to make a small raft. Kenna sat cross legged as she sat in front of her pile of wood. She grabbed the twine out of her bag and started to tie everything together. She was thankful for the task. It kept her mind busy. After a little while, she looked at the small raft she had made. Kenna then took the smaller pieces of wood she had found and started to carve away at pieces so they would lock together and stand up. This part was a bit more complicated. Kenna worked at the wood for nearly hour before she was satisfied with the way that it had turned out. Kenna held her breath for a moment as she set it down on the raft and took her hand away. It managed to stay up. Kenna got up once more and grabbed dried leaves and tinder from the forest edge. Kenna made a nice bed of the material on the raft. It was entirely covered in it. The raised border of the raft made sure that it would all stay in place.

Finally, Kenna grabbed her sketchbook out of her bag. She flipped through the pages until she reached what she was looking for. She carefully ripped the page out of her notebook. She stared at the picture in front of her. Kenna felt tears come to her eyes and slowly stream down her cheeks. Her family's ghosts were staring back at her from the page. They were haunting her with their smiles and lack of sadness in their eyes. Kenna wished she could be like that again. Kenna bit the inside of her lip as she placed the photo on the locked piece of wood. Kenna grabbed some matches out of her bag and headed towards the waters edge. Kenna placed the raft on the lake. She lit two matches at the same time and threw them in the tinder. As the raft began to catch flames, Kenna pushed it towards the center of the lake. Kenna sat in the sand surrounding the beach and watched as the picture of her family burned.

"Come stop your crying, it will be all right," Kenna whispered to herself as the picture burned. Memories of her mother's warm smile and loving voice filled her mind. "Just take my hand, hold it tight. I will protect you, from all around you. I will be here don't you cry." Kenna thought about her mother and father tucking her in and singing the lullaby to calm her down from whatever nightmares plagued her. She wished that she could have those nightmares again. "For one so small, you seem so strong. My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm." Kenna saw her parents dancing in the kitchen light at night when they thought no one else was watching. Kenna and Olly would always jump in and join them when they had the chance. "This bond between us can't be broken. I will be here don't you cry." Kenna could barely get out the words between the sobs that came from her chest. "Cause you'll be in my heart. Yes, you'll be from this day on now and forever more." Kenna wished so desperately that her parents and brothers were beside her right now. Kenna would have traded all of her talents of drawing and building to have them by her side once more. "You'll be in my heart. No matter what they say. You'll be here in my heart." The last word was barely more than a whimper. "Always."