Chapter 19

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Kim always gets what he wants. Not even his father can stop him if he wants to do or have something. Pursuing his music career and leaving the main family mansion to live in his own apartment were concrete examples of Kim getting his way. So, the concept of rejection and defeat feels foreign to him.

Yet when he saw Pete walking in the aisle towards his cousin, face beaming with happiness and love for Vegas, he could not help but feel defeated for the second time in his life. The first was when he was forced to let Pete go for the greater good and his safety, even if it meant deceiving him into thinking he had someone else.

But what can Kim do? He knew his father was an evil man and, like a shark smelling blood in the water, knowing his youngest son's weakness and using it against him like he used Tawan against Kinn was something he could not allow. He saw how his older brother had crumbled because of love, and although he knew that Pete had truly loved him, he couldn't let the other man fall into his father's circus. He would rather die than endanger the love of his life.

Leaving the bodyguard was something he deeply regretted and was thankful for at the same time. Pete made him realize that there was so much more in life and that there was still hope despite being in the mafia. He made Kim dream of a better life, just the two of them, somewhere where no one knew them and they could live peacefully like ordinary people. Those thoughts kept him afloat when everything else felt unbearable. So when he left, he felt like a ship without an anchor. The heartbreak and the burden of being the one who let the other person go were weighing him down. But a part of him was relieved that the other man was free from his father's clutches. Most of the time, that was the only thing that kept him going—his only consolation.

As time passed, Kim slowly accepted that he couldn't have Pete in this life. Maybe in another life or universe, but not in this lifetime. The older man deserves so much more than being tied to a mafia family that thinks very little of his life and treats him as replaceable. Kim had made peace with the fact that Pete would eventually leave and find someone to love who doesn't have a heavy proverbial crown that sits on top of their head, someone who can give Pete a peaceful and normal life.

But maybe he had miscalculated the outcomes. Seeing Pete marry the minor family heir was something he never anticipated. He was in denial at first. Pete will eventually leave Vegas, Kim had convinced himself. There was no way their love would last; he was sure of it. Vegas may be many things, but a loving partner and a father were never one of them.

So when he heard the news from Tankhun one night when his oldest brother called, wailing dramatically over the phone about Pete being engaged to Vegas, Kim had lost it. He felt his hands go cold, dread creeping into his spine like he'd been struck by lightning. The confrontation didn't end well either. He ended up being slapped, and although it hurt like a b*tch, it stung more to see Pete leaving with Vegas, hand-in-hand, like they can't help but gravitate towards each other. Kim wanted to lash out and snatch Pete away. But it was clear to him that Pete chose Vegas over him.

Now, he stood here along with his family members and a few close acquaintances who gathered around to witness the wedding of his cousin and the love of his life. Kim wanted to laugh so hard he might end up crying. After all this time, his efforts to keep Pete away from the mafia business were wasted. He might as well pat himself on the back for losing him and basically handing him to Vegas. Oh, what a fool he had been.

"Kimmy, why are you crying?" He could hear Tankhun's worried voice, but he couldn't care to respond.

"Kim?" His brother calls again, and it takes a lot to get his eyes off Pete and turn to his brother.

"What is it?" He asks absentmindedly.
Instead of receiving a response, he felt a tight hug.

"Oh, Kimmy. I'm so sorry."

"Why?" he whispers, confused by his brother's statement.

"I should have known. I'm so sorry, Kim." Tankhun says as he rubs soothing circles on his younger brother's back. It took a while for Kim to realize he was sobbing uncontrollably in his brother's arms. It was a good thing that they were seated in the back, or else people would see the cold Theerapanyakul prince break like somebody had died.

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