93 DAYS...or longer?

34.

I push my chair back, making it slam against the wall as I grab my mother's cheeks, squishing them together until her skin goes from red to white from how hard I am shutting her mouth with my hand while pushing her to walk backwards, until her back are against the wall.

"This is the last time you've said anything bad about Mackenna. Especially call her a whore. She is far away from it, since her mother taught her well. Unlike you." I yell into her face, as my eyes become red from frustration, my cheeks burning from the heat and adrenaline that was in my body right now, building up.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She manages to push me away as I try my best not to slap her so I curl my hands into fists as I move away and begin to breath heavily, letting out an ironic chuckle between my loud breaths "Ha ha ha... I know what you did.." I look into her eyes as we stand a few meters apart, noticing her face turn red, her full face was now as red as a crab.

"What mommy? You don't remember why Juan got fired? Why my father developed heart problems? Why now Emilio has same problems as our father? Why Ariadna left?" I take a few steps closer to her, watching her try to blend with the wall and magically go through it to escape the words of the truth.

"I have no idea what you are talking about.. it's all nonsense." She states the obvious lies.

"Nonsense? Your moans echoing through this same house over and over again, you screaming Juan's name while he fucked you on a bed you shared with my father? How many times did you cheat on our father, hmm? With how many employees and my "friends"? Juan wasn't enough for you so you had to seduce 20 year olds only to feel young again? Money, love, attention and respect my father gave to you just wasn't enough? You needed more. I wonder if we are even all made with the same man, or he might not even be our father. You old, filthy whore." 

Never once in my life have I called a woman a 'whore'. But this time, she deserved it as she was the definition of one. 

A burning sensation appeared across my cheek as my head snaps to the right, making my cheek feel tingly and my skin tighter than ever on the place where her palm met my face. She slapped me for the first time in my life with such anger and disappointment as if I've said any lies.

"STOP IT!" She screamed into my face as her body separated from the wall finally. Her voice was shaking as well as her hands but I kept staring at the floor, not moving my head in any other direction, instead I froze in my spot from the moment she slapped me. 

"You for sure are your father's son. The same voice, look, mind, guard.. You are the same as him and I despise you so much because of that! I hate that I even gave birth to you! You hear that?! You weren't even meant to be born and everything you have should've been Emilio's! But your father insisted! We were young and first son that would be his heir, oh God... but I hated you from the day you were born, from the moment doctor placed you on my chest, in my arms. I could throw up just by looking at your stupid little face thinking you rule the world! Well you don't. I will prove that to you, motherfucker!" 

Once she poured out her heart and soul right there into my face, she walked away, sniffling her tears through her nose but there was no door slamming. She opened the door and left them open.

Tear fell down my cheek as I replayed all the words through my head, gulping hard as I close my eyes, trying to control my emotions. 

But I failed. 

I groaned loudly, that groan turning into a loud roar of pain, almost sounding like an injured lion left in the wild on his own - to die...so I begin to throw everything around. My laptop ended up hitting the wall, papers went flying everywhere, chair was flying out the window and into the pool, glass shattering all over the place as I rage, screaming on top of my lungs as tears roll down my cheeks, wanting this pain to end. I just wanted my father to come back home, hug me and take this pain away. Take all the worries and pain away in the way only he knew. It would take him seconds to make my whole month, year and life better. 

With each thing I threw and slammed, I screamed out pain and sorrow that was buried deep inside of me. I slammed my fist against the desk a few times until it began to hurt but as soon as it went numb, I continued on slamming, getting the feeling of satisfaction from the pain those punches provided me, turning them into pure bloody pleasure.

Oh the pain felt so good.

I smile through my tears as I notice my fist become blue and purple, my knuckles red and covered with blood as my skin breaks from all the punches.

I step back from the desk and take a look around my trashed room, where everything was broken. Still less broken than my heart.

Her words echoed through my head as I begin to laugh hysterically while tears were flowing down my face. 

Everything I've worked so hard for.. for the past 5 years, all of the success, all of the awards, all of the good times and laughs, each compliment, each look and touch, hug and kiss, every time she has got excited was fake. Each time she told me she loved me was fake. Each time she told me I was her favorite boy, her rock, her pride and joy was fake. All of it - it was fake. 

I grab onto my hair, pulling it as hard as I can as if I wanted to pull my brain out to stop myself from overthinking and hearing all the voices.

I was too young to go through this kind of shit.

I stood in the middle of the room, as the room itself began spinning in front of me, making me stumble a bit as I try to find the balance. My mind was clear enough to know that the room couldn't spin, it was just my head. I managed to drag my heavy, almost as if my pants were filled with rocks, legs to the desk as I grab on the edge of it, right as I fall down to my knees from the immense chest pain that strikes me, making me squeeze my eyes shut as my ears begin to ring and my head begins to hurt as if someone has placed an elephant on my scull. All I wanted was to sleep. Forever.