Through my eyes

Just a normal girl

Skylar
The '10 minute' walk to the shop took me a lot longer than it should have but half an hour later I finally found my way to sheets and things, it was a-lot harder than I first thought because the map in my phone kept moving, one minute the silly blue arrow said I was going in the right direction and the next it was saying I had taken a wrong turn. Why everyone is so obsessed with this technology I will never know but I needed to wrap my head around it if I was going to appear normal.

Looking around the store I found what I needed pretty quick, just the basics today, I don't want to blow all my money before I secure a job; I am giving myself a week, 1 weeks to settle into my apartment and enjoy my freedom and then I need to find a job. I can already tell retail is not for me, the sales assistant wouldn't leave me alone and if that's any kind of indication of how outgoing you need to be then that type of job definitely wasn't for me.

It didn't take long till I saw the first signs of the veiled, I pretend I didn't notice the pixies that flew in front of me as I crossed the road, I could not afford to look crazy so I carried on walking, slowly making my way back to my apartment focusing on the silly blue arrow on my phone.
On the way home I stopped at a small convenience store and picked up just the bear essentials to feed myself for the next few days. The problem with focusing so heavily on my phone is that I was not focusing on the sidewalk in front of me, so I didn't see the man walking towards me; when we collided my bags fell to the floor, I looked up in embarrassment but the only emotion on this man's face was shock. I started rambling my apologies as I quickly gathered my things from the floor before they could be trampled on by the crowds of people passing around me.

"Sorry I'm so sorry I didn't see you" the words just kept tumbling from my mouth like I had no filter to stop them I just couldn't stop saying sorry, what is wrong with me, just stand up and keep walking; "No please it's my fault I should have been paying better attention, I'm Nate by the way" the man in front of me helped me to my feet and I mumbled my name quietly but I quickly noticed the people around me starting to stare. Nobody actually stopped to help me but everyone seemed very aware of me, like they were cautious of me; only when I heard a woman probably around my age mutter under her breath to the man next to her "crazy bitch talking to herself"did I realise what was happening.

No no no, this could not be happening so soon, I picked up my bags and ran in the direction I had been heading, recognising the little café at that was on the end of my road I rounded the corner and fled to the safety of my new apartment. A quick glance behind me calmed my nerves as the mystery man, the veiled or whatever he was hadn't followed me. It was okay, I was going to be okay; I ran into Frank on my way into the building, he seemed the type of landlord I could get away with just exchanging quick pleasantries with in passing. Thankfully I was right, a smile and a line about settling in for the evening and I was up the stairs and locking my door behind me.

With my back pressed to the door I take in a deep breath, it's fine, I'm fine, nobody even knows who I am anyways it's not like the world is going to be reporting to the judge on my behaviour; I put the food away in the fridge and get to work on making my bed, I haven't had a double before and at my height getting the comforter into the cover wasn't easy. By the time I was done I felt like I'd done a work out, I needed to up my fitness; I had never had to the freedom to work out before, the most I ever did were some basic exercises in my room but definitely no cardio.

I've never cooked a meal for myself before so I followed the instructions to the letter, half an hour I was sat watching tv eating a bowl of Kraft Mac & cheese, it was sad to think this was the tastiest food I have eaten in years; but I still remember my mums Mac & cheese, she always but little bacon bits with breadcrumbs on top so it was crunchy.

The memories of my parents still stung if I thought about them too much, I just have to keep reminding myself that they didn't want me, they gave up on me when I was a child, who does that to their own blood. Flicking through the tv channels I needed to find something to distract me from my thoughts, they were quickly becoming angry and I didn't want to wallow in those feelings; there's this amazing new app called Netflix on my TV, it has so many shows to choose from but I settle on one I remember from my childhood, Gilmore Girls. I remember Watching a few episodes of this after school when nobody was home, I didn't really understand much of the plot when I was younger but now I could start it from the beginning and I have a feeling it was something I would enjoy.

I was right, I curled up on the sofa for hours watching TV, I finally felt like a normal person and was really enjoying my show; sunset came and went but I stayed in my cosy spot, this sofa felt like safety to me so it wasn't until I really couldn't keep my eyes open anymore that I moved into my bedroom.

Crawling under the comforter I spread out not accustomed to the space of a double bed; I don't think I can actually believe it yet, I feel like I'm going to open my eyes and be back in the cold stone walls of my room at Stoney Hall. As I drifted off to sleep I kept seeing 2 faces over and over, the first was Logan, I haven't seen him in 6 years but I still remember every small detail of his face, and the second was Nate, I had only seen him for a minute but his face was burned into my mind; with the 2 faces swirling around in my head I drifted off to sleep excited that I wasn't going to be woken up by flickering fluorescent lights in the morning.