Trust Issues

Chapter 10

When I woke up the following day, I panicked as I opened my eyes. For a heartbeat, I didn't remember where I was or what had happened. Then, it all came back in a rush. Hearing Waverly's harsh words in the nightmare, the claustrophobia, then the familiar rush of panic seizing me again. I heard Jonah's worried voice as he spoke, trying to make me slow down.

I remembered the angry tears in my eyes, the knot of anger, bitterness, grief, shame, and depression coalescing in my stomach; I remembered leaving our suite in a rush and ignoring the curious and concerned glances thrown my way. I remembered holding in the scream that was building in my throat, only to unleash it when I finally emerged in the open water. I pushed myself to a sitting position, ignoring the rush of dizziness the movement caused.

Sometime while I'd slept, someone (most likely Uncle Kai) had moved me to my suite. I rarely stayed here, but everyone in our family—regardless of location—had a suite in each realm's palace. I shivered, clutching the blanket tighter around me. A steady throbbing pulsed in the back of my head, making me wonder how long it had been since I'd eaten or drank something.

When the soft knock sounded on the suite door, my hands reflexively clenched on the blanket. It wasn't until a soft voice spoke up from the other side, filled with concern and worry, that I finally allowed myself to relax. "Faye? Honey, it's me."

I swallowed hard, blinking back tears that threatened to fall. "Come in," I called out, trying to steady my voice. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Zander and that cruel smirk. It took me several minutes to get my breathing under control. When Uncle Kai slipped into the suite, a mug of bubble tea in his hands, the concern in his eyes as he swam into the bedroom nearly made me break down again.

He cautiously moved towards me, stopping at the foot of the bed. Whether he noticed my white-knuckled grip on the blankets, he didn't comment. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft. "I sent a letter to your parents telling them what happened. David..." He trailed off, avoiding my gaze. "He was frantic when he and Bella couldn't find you."

My heart broke clean in half as tears filled my uncle's eyes, spilling down his cheeks before he could breathe. He rarely cried, so seeing that raw emotion from him broke something inside me. Even now, I had to take deep breaths with him near me and remind myself for the umpteenth time that I was safe with him, that he would never, ever harm me.

Wordlessly, he reached out to hand me the mug, making sure not to touch me. I had no idea where the words came from, but there they were. "I wasn't just psychologically tortured—he included mental torture, too. Zander, he... he didn't harm me besides running a hand down my cheek and binding my hands, but the sensual implication was still there."

He already knew this, as he was there with the rest of my family when I'd finally revealed what had happened. But there was something I hadn't told him—something only a select few in our family knew. "He..." I squeezed my eyes shut, blowing out a breath and swallowing hard. "I feel broken inside. The mere sight of a merman triggers a panic attack."

I felt the words hit their target and saw when Uncle Kai visibly flinched. I let him fill in the rest of the blanks—I watched his eyes widen when recognition set in. I knew he remembered a few days ago when we'd had our family together, how I'd jumped at the sight of Uncle Jay. My hands shook as I lifted the mug of bubble tea to my lips.

"I love our family," I whispered after I'd taken a sip. "But I don't know when—if ever—I'll be comfortable being touched by a merman again." If I still panicked at the sight of mermen—even those I knew, loved, and trusted—how could I eventually endure being embraced by one?

My eyes filled with tears as I thought of Jonah. I loved him so much that it physically hurt when we were apart. How long could I go without feeling his touch? A month? A year?