Flight K109 (#1 ¬ Aiello Racing Series )

Elliot Ilves

Having Mia at Aiello is like my own personal torture. Her being there, just out of reach for me all the damn time. There was a moment on the first day, I'd just come out of the car, exhausted, admittedly from trying to set a new record just to impress her, I don't think I've ever pushed myself as hard as I did right then, not even when it was the deciding race for regionals. I remember taking my balaclava off, and turning around, towards the break room across the track, and there she was, looking at me and smiling. I don't think I've ever wanted to run out of a garage more than I did right then.

The moment I snap is probably later on at the event. She's been here for hours, making me stare at her and wish that I could just leave right then and take her with me. The dress she's wearing is perfect for her, she's perfect, and it's kind of killing me inside. But I keep my distance, I have a lot of people I need to talk to and hopefully impress, especially considering what I intend to tell Guillaume later on.

I keep hazarding glances at her every once in a while, just to make sure she's still there, and that she's real. One minute I see her sitting alone at a table and the next time I turn my head Jan Mueller is here, talking to her and making her laugh. I try to not let it get to me, I try not to let whatever animosity and assumptions I have towards the guy cloud my judgement, this is not the time or place for me to overreact.

I force myself to tear my gaze away from the two of them and back to the table Sandro and I are sharing with some sponsor and his wife. I exchange in some meaningless conversation with them, and that's when I hear Mia's laugh echo across the room. I wonder if she seems different to Jan than she does to me; if she'll shatter the expectations I've created in my mind with one simple conversation with someone else. But seeing her talk to someone else, laugh with them, it's driving me crazy. I'm jealous. Ridiculous.

I want her to know me, I want her to talk to me. And I feel it then, this strange sensation: this strange, inexplicable sense that she might be the only person in the world I can truly care about.

I excuse myself from the table. I know I should stay away, but I can't. My legs keep pushing me towards her until I reach her table. I grab her by the arm and pull her towards me.

"Let's go Mia." I say, "Come sit with me and Sandro."

Jan scoffs and turns to me, "We were kind of in the middle of something Ilves."

I throw a withering look his way, "It's almost like that's the point, huh?" I bite out before pulling Mia away from the table

She stops me halfway through the room and pulls her arm out of my grasp. She looks angry right now, really angry, and unfortunately it's definitely not at Mueller.

"The fuck was that Elliot?" she asks angrily

"Mueller is the last person you should be talking to." I say, I still don't have solid proof that he's a bad person per say, but after some digging I did I know that he's not a good person by far.

"Jan is a very nice guy." she says, why the fuck is she defending the guy? She's barely talked to him

"Jan Mueller is a player, amongst other things in a list so long I don't dare try to say it all. He's not the kind of guy you should talk to, trust me."

"And who are you exactly to tell me who I should and should not talk to?" she bites

"Someone who cares about you." I whisper, being more honest than I expected

"Really?" she asks exhasperated, "Because right now you're honestly coming off like a jealous little boy who doesn't want his friend talking to other people on the playground."

Decent analogy. Sounds bad when you put it like that though.

She tries to walk away from me but I grab her arm and pull her back, "Oh come on Mia." I say, "I am genuinely just looking out for you. Look, if you're really upset about this then we'll go home, we'll go home right now and talk about it, party's almost over anyways."

I see a pair of guests in fancy suits coming our way, they don't clock Mia in their path. I grab her and pull her to avoid a collision. Her body is almost flush with mine, faces inches apart. I hear her breathing grow uneven and my heart starts beating a mile a minute. I know I should pull away, that this isn't the time or place to be doing this, that there's something holding her back she hasn't told me. But she's right there, right there and looking at me the way I know I'm looking at her.

She pulls away from me and takes a step back, putting some distance between us.

"Fine." she breathes, "Let's go.

It doesn't even take me ten minutes to get us both in the car and on our way home. We drive in silence, there's a whole mix of tension in the air now, it's like we can't escape it. She's angry at me, or she was, I'm not sure. But the wanting in the air is overpowering, it's choking us both out. Our need to be near each other, the way it feels electric every time our hands brush or we bump into each other. I know I'm not imagining that, and I know there's a reason she's ignoring it. 

But I don't know how long I can do this. I don't know how long it will take before I snap, before I pull over the car and kiss her into next morning. I don't know how I haven't done it yet. But I don't, I'm not stupid, I know there's something going on, probably something to do with her parents, I know there's a reason she's holding back, a reason she pulls away from me when it starts getting too real. I don't want to risk her pulling away from me completely, not if I can still help it.

I get us back to my apartment and she follows me into my room. I ask her if she wants to talk about it, she says no, I ask her if she wants me to take her home, also no. I've given her her options, and she knows the ball is in her court, it's her decision what happens next.

She chooses a movie, the one activity we can do where we don't have to talk or move or do anything. We just have to be there, we just have to let the lives and problems of someone else overshadow our own.

The movie of choice is '50 first dates' obviously, because it's about a guy desperately trying to help a girl and falling in love with her at the same time, not exactly us, but pretty similar in some aspects.

The silence as we watch the movie is palpable, and the silence after the credits end is even more so.

"I should go." she murmurs into my neck, and I have a moment of weakness, because I am, with her I am weak, and I can't stand the thought of her leaving me alone right now, I ask her to stay, that for one night, she acknowledges the situation and just let's us live in it. I know I'll regret it by morning, that it will make everything between us a hundred times more complicated and that I'll hate myself when she predictably pulls away from me hard tomorrow.

But that's tomorrow, and this is tonight. And tonight, tonight Mia's mine the way I'm hers, because I am.