MORE.//XXXTENTACION

Carry On.

"Vanity..VANITY!" Ginger yelled as she snapped her fingers towards my face. I had been so zoned out. I hadn't spoken to Jahseh in 2 weeks and I wasn't sure how to feel about everything. It was eating me alive that I couldn't vent because I knew Ginger didn't wanna hear any of this.

I would have told Shy and Alexis but all they were gonna do was tell Ginger and she if she had known about it. I almost felt trapped. I didn't mean to do that with him nor did I really want to but a bunch of stuff happens when you're in the heat of the moment.

"Girl...you look tired as fuck. What the fuck is wrong with you? You haven't been talking, you haven't been wanting to hang out much. You've been cooped up in that damn house when we're supposed to be using this break to spend time with one another.."

I felt terrible because she was right. One thing I was taught was to pay attention to how your body reacts after having intercourse with someone.

Ever since I've been tired and drained, and I've had this overwhelming feeling of anxiety for some odd reason. It was the weirdest feeling ever.

"I'm sorry Gin..It's just been a lot going on in my mind lately." I said, I was trying to be as vague as possible because if I start talking I won't be able to stop but Ginger was good at getting answers out of people.

I wasn't able to hide much of anything from her.

"Vanity...don't play with me. I'm not dumb and if you think I am you are sadly mistaken...that boy got you feeling like that doesn't he?" She said,

I looked over to her to see her tongue poking her cheek as she gave me a stern look. Like I said, I couldn't hide anything from her.

I heard her take a deep sigh as my silence told me everything she needed to know.

"Vanity...that boy is going to break your heart man. Now, I can't tell you what to do because you're well and grown but...he is no good." She said

"Why are you trying to see the good in someone like that..he's using you..simple. He won't be upfront about you and his baby mother and he literally kissed you and got mad at you because HE kissed YOU and uninvited you to his party...then kicked us the fuck out." She said as she stared at me.

That was my downfall. Always seeing the good in people.

I didn't know much about Jahsehs' background to know if that was a reason for how he acted but..I didn't really care.

He made me feel a certain way that I have never felt before. He had given me a rush of excitement and had this comforting spirit where you could be around him for hours and hours.

He was so charming with his infectious laugh and beautiful smile, you looked at him once and believed he could never do no wrong.

Yet he has done wrong, especially with me. Ginger was right.

I had no idea what his situation was with his baby's mother as he would refuse to tell me, and what guy just goes around kissing girls they barely know when they have a girlfriend. I was shown two humongous red flags and still decided to try and shade them pink because I began to care too deeply too quickly.

"You need to call him and you need to see what the fuck is going on. I have one more week until I have to go back to school and I'm not leaving you sad and miserable. That man is not about to ruin your life, you have an amazing job where you get paid to travel the fucking world. A job that people are going to school right now for, spending thousands just to do what you do...you have an amazing group of friends. Don't let his bitch ass ruin your life...it's not worth it Vanity." She said as she looked me into my eyes.