As it Was | Hange x Reader

Chapter 7: Selection Time

Today was the day. If (Y/N) didn't receive an email stating her proposal had been selected, then that meant she wasn't going to be on the Brain Games.

That would be fine too. It wasn't like being on the Brain Games had been her initial plan for the semester anyway. She just needed to graduate—

"Have you figured out how to solve this equation yet?" Pieck spoke, reminding (Y/N) that she was currently in the library, tutoring Pieck for the upcoming biochem exam. Yes, she had volunteered to help without thinking twice. But it was fine, Pieck had grown to be one of her friends.

"Yep," (Y/N) explained the equation slowly, making sure that Pieck understood every step. If (Y/N) hadn't felt haunted by her father's taunts and demands...she might have pursued a career as a biology teacher. She loved teaching. But she had expectations to uphold, and a father she did not want to make angry.

"Thanks," Pieck tried smiling, but her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. Now that (Y/N) thought about it, Pieck hadn't been her usual upbeat self this entire time. She had been quiet and followed (Y/N)'s instructions. Normally, she would be upbeat and cheerful.

(Y/N) gnawed on her bottom lip, wondering if she should ask. Would she be overstepping? Had she been friends with Pieck long enough to ask about her wellbeing?

Pieck wordlessly continued her work, her eyes downcast, her shoulders slumped. She seemed...sad. (Y/N) was too familiar with that feeling. The way the world seemed to darken, and the familiar tendrils of despair wound its way withing. There was also the fact that Pieck was still adjusting to transferring.

She was practically alone.

"Hey," (Y/N) said gently, mimicking the soft tone Mikasa had used with her last night, during her own existential crisis. "Is everything okay?"

Pieck blinked in surprise, looking up to meet (Y/N)'s eyes. "Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"You seem kind of down," (Y/N) hesitated. She didn't want to make Pieck uncomfortable.

Pieck sighed and stared back down at the notebook she was solving the problems in. She seemed to deflate even more, as if she was giving up even trying to appear like her cheerful self. "Actually, yeah. So, you know how we had to turn in project proposals to become an official member of the brain games?"

"Yeah," (Y/N) nodded slowly, recognizing where the area was headed.

"My idea got rejected."

(Y/N) felt a pang of sadness for Pieck. Having your idea, your brainchild, rejected definitely stung. She had personally experienced that bitter feeling many times in the past. But deep down, she also felt something ugly—relief. One less competitor. One less 'friend' she would have to go against—if she was accepted, that is.

"Oh, Pieck..." (Y/N) paused. She was going to say the usually I'm so sorry, maybe you'll get it next time speech, but she knew that it didn't offer much comfort. "Being rejected is an awful feeling."

"You're right."

"There might not be a bright side to this," (Y/N) admitted. "Sometimes our ideas don't get accepted. Sometimes, other people are not a fan of our work. And I know you must be feeling disheartened right now, but don't let it take away from your intelligence. You're smart, and incredibly passionate. If you didn't get this one, then there are always other tries."

"Thanks," Pieck whispered. "I don't know why I had my hopes up, anyway. I had thought that this competition would have been a fun way to make friends and branch out...but I guess I'll have to find another method."

"Hey, you've already got four friends," (Y/N) reached out and placed a hand atop Pieck's. "We're here for you."

"Four...?"