Promise » [cashton] √

4.4

[15th of March]

Calum

He was on the couch when Ashton came home, and he had the decency to feel vaguely guilty. He had had the time to go to church with Ashton, but he really, really didn't want to, he hated being watched, and church seemed like exactly the place that would happen.

He turned the volume down on the TV, knowing Ashton would, at the very least, come and say hello.

Which he did, head peering around the doorway, "You have a good morning?" He asked, a warm smile on his lips. He always looked so good in his Sunday best, pants nice and firm across his thighs, the crisp button up making him look like he was ready to tend bar at an expensive hotel, especially now he'd rolled the sleeves up, tie loosened, and hair definitely having seen fingers run through it.

"I only woke up like an hour ago," he confessed, holding out his arm so Ashton would come to him. The younger man did, and Calum saw he had taken his shoes off already, black socks padding across the floor. "How was church?" He pulled Ashton on top of him, flicking the soft blanket up over him.

The younger man giggled quietly at how successfully he'd been wrapped up, kissing Calum's lips softly, "good, talked about love, congratulated the newlyweds,"

Calum's hand rubbed up and down his back, "you learn anything interesting about love?"

"Just that it should be treasured," a kiss to his lips, "it's more precious than gold," another kiss, "more abundant than sand in the desert," a lingering one this time, "that God gives us love when we're ready for it," his hands were holding the sides of Calum's face now, "that I love you more than I can imagine loving anyone, ever," his eyes were serious as he locked them with Calum's, the playfulness from earlier gone.

Calum's heart was stuttering in his chest; he'd only just managed the words, and Ashton was outpacing him again, "love you too," he said simply, but he knew they'd be enough because Ashton had requested the words again and again since he'd first said them.

"I know," Ashton said quietly, shifting back on his legs so he could take his tie the rest of the way off; tossing it to the floor, he started on his sleeves then, unrolling them. "Are you going to marry me?" He asked eyes focused on his sleeves.

"I-" fuck, Ashton always caught him off guard, always so direct, "I mean yeah, probably one day, I just- I only just said I love you,"

Ashton hummed, and Calum was grateful he didn't seem angry or hurt, just curious, "As long as you know that's what I want,"

"Of course, I know you want that. You- that's the life you've imagined for yourself. And you enjoy the physical stuff, I know you're going to want sex one day, but you want to be married before, so I know that you're going to-"

Ashton interrupted, "I want you to make love to me, now," Calum made to protest, "Destiny and Adam met after we were already together, and they're married, and I'm not saying we need to get married. I'm just saying, if they can know then I can know I want this, and I do," he said obstinately. He drew close to Calum again, "I want you inside me," he told him seriously.

"Ash- I- where's this coming from?" He couldn't articulate any of his feelings enough to do more than question the younger man.

The younger man shrugged, "I've wanted you for so long, I've just been holding back, and I prayed on it, and I went to church, and the way Father Cooper spoke about love, I know. I know God cares more about love than about ceremonies; Adam and Eve weren't married in the ceremonial sense, but god knew. God knows how I feel about you, Calum, and I know he knows how you feel about me,"

Calum was silent, trying to take in everything Ashton had said. How sure he was made Calum more nervous than reassured, people had been certain before, and it had only led to heartache... but... married people got divorced all the time; there was no real guarantee of forever with or without marriage.

"Calum-"

"Just- just give me a moment to think," he said, not unkindly. There was a long silence as he tried to articulate his thoughts, "If- if we did this, would you expect- would this- would you-"

"Would I consider this a proposal?" Ashton asked, "No, I want you; I'm giving myself to you, no strings attached. But I wanted to make sure beforehand that you know I want to be married to you, someday, I-I I'd love it to be soon, but if it takes awhile, then that's okay; I just wanted to make sure we were both heading in the same direction. Before I bare my soul to you," he explained.

Calum felt like he was going to be sick. If Ashton considered sex a bearing of souls, what sort of soul slut did he take Calum for? Why was he okay with being with someone who had perverted something so sacred over and over again?

"Can we give it a week? Just like, let us both sit with the idea for a week and then when it's over, if you still want to, and I want to, then we can,"

Ashton smiled ruefully, coming in close to Calum's neck again, "If you want to? Haven't you wanted me since the first time you saw me?" Hot lips were on his neck, and his mind was getting foggy.

"This is important, Ash; it's a big decision for us,"

"Okay, but I guarantee I still want to in a week. I've wanted you for months now; a week isn't going to change anything," more kisses, "Can we at least fool around a little today?"

"I don't know, Ash; I feel kind of dirty after you just talked about how sacred love is,"

"Love doesn't make you horny?" Ashton chuckled, lips still working Calum's neck.

"I don't know, I think my dick's confused," Calum confessed. Love should make you horny, right? It was making Calum nervous; Ashton was in love, in love with him; what was he supposed to do? He hadn't thought he'd ever really get the chance to sleep with Ashton. Which was a stupid thing to say, but it being a reality had seemed far-fetched or far off, and now it was presenting itself on a silver platter.

"Can I try and unconfuse you?" Ashton asked, pulling himself more firmly against Calum's chest. Sliding his hand slowly down as he waited for the okay from Calum.

"I didn't realise church made you so frisky," he said, still trying to decide; his hands found Ashton's lower back... on instinct only.

"What are you thinking?" Ashton asked, lips finding Calum's neck, "Do you not want to have sex with me?"

Calum laughed; he couldn't help it, "Ashton, I don't think you realise how much I hold back, I just- I don't wanna say yes now cause it's what I want, and you change your mind or regret it," he reached a hand between them, digging until he could palm Ashton easily through his Sunday slacks, "I've wanted you every day since that first night in Mexico. When Sierra called me to offer me the rest of the tour I was in the middle of debating if I should pull my cock out and jerking off to the thought of you bending me over a speaker and having your fucking way with me," Ashton whined at the words and the contact and Calum pushed his hand inside his pants this time, zip sliding down easily as he let hot breath hit Ashton's neck.

"The first time we made out, I had to go and jerk off in your dressing room bathroom." Ashton's breath hitched as Calum's thumb teased the tip of his cock, working precum up and down his shaft slowly to make up for the lack of actual lube. "Every time we're together like this it takes all my power not to fucking ruin you; I think how easy it'd have been to press my cock inside you rather than between your thighs that night in the hotel," he confessed, feeling sick for even suggesting it but seeing the way Ashton was preening, eyes closed and fingers digging into Calum's shoulders, you'd think he was getting more than a hand job.

"But I love you," Calum told him, breaking out Ashton's favourite words, "wanna treasure you," lips to neck, "wanna make sure you're ready,"

Ashton nodded quickly, eyes squeezed shut, and a gasp passed his lips as he came on Calum's hand, "I'm ready," he promised.

"Then you'll still be ready in a week," Calum told him, kissing his cheek. And truly, the only thing stopping him from going the last of the way was his clothes.

👀👀👀👀👀