for you, i try | beynika

3.

ONIKA MARAJ
JANUARY 16, 2022
HOUSTON, TX

"but, ma! that's not fair! all the other kids get to go, but i can't?! why?!" my preteen complained.

there was a field trip his class had planned, but i was hesitant on letting my son go. he's 11, intelligent, responsible and trustworthy, but i didn't want him out and about without my supervision.

"no, zion, i am not allowing you to go. now, go wash up for supper. i will not be discussing this with you anymore." i deadpanned.

my son sighed loudly and slugged his way up the stairs to his room. i did feel bad for telling him no. i wasn't trying to be super strict, im just very protective over my son.

honestly, i had been grumpy lately ever since kenneth stood me up. it hurt me a lot. he hadn't been around much anymore either. id call him sometimes just to be ignored or get a text later saying 'i was busy'. i didn't want to let it get the best of me, but it was. i didn't really have feelings for kenneth so i knew it was almost irrational to be so upset.

i dished out dinner and then called for zion to come down stairs. it had been a few moments and i didn't hear him come. i furrowed my brows and went upstairs to get him. maybe he was in the shower.

i walked to his door and knocked softly. i knew me telling him no would upset him, but i didn't think it would have him like this.

"z, come eat. dinner is ready." i knocked once more.

i got no response. "i'm coming in." i announced before opening his door. i was met with an empty bedroom.

my heart jumped out of my chest.

"where the hell is my son?!" i yelled.

i knew no one could hear me. i went further into his room and he was truly nowhere to be found. i noticed his bedroom was left cracked open which only led me to believe he left through the window. i closed it back and didn't know what to do.

i frantically roamed around my home to call ken. i was really hoping he'd answer the phone so he could help me find him. it rang a few times and then he answered.

"hey, maraj-,"

"zion is gone! i don't know where he is!" i cried into the phone.

"woah, calm down for a moment." he told me. he sounded like he was driving as i could hear his engine.

"zion left! i don't know where to but he isn't here! can you please come over?!" i wiped away my tears.

the phone disconnected. i didn't know if that was a good or bad thing until i heard my doorbell ring just seconds later.

i opened the door and there ken stood. he pulled me into a hug as i cried. i held onto his forearms.

"i need to find him! why would he just leave?! he never does this! if saying no means he will run away then i'll never say it again!" i was distraught. my son is my everything and more in life. i needed him more than i needed air to breathe.

BEYONCÉ KNOWLES
JANUARY 16th, 2022
HOUSTON, TX

today was.. rough.

i've witnessed a lot of things while being a sheriff. but today, today was different. witnessing a murder is a lot different than having to report one. the day's events kept replaying in my head, and i was sure this feeling would linger for awhile.

rather than being swallowed in sadness, i decided to go for a walk on my favorite trail of mine. i found it accidentally one day and i told myself this would be a spot of mine to remember. it was closed off by trees and other things so no one really knew it was there.

when i got there, following the dirt and rock trail, i was met with a child. he sat atop of the wood.

"hey, you here alone?" i asked the boy. he turned around and looked at me.

"how'd you find this spot?" he asked me, ignoring my question.

"i found it by accident. how did you find this spot?"

"this is my spot. i always come out here when i need a moment." he told me.

i nodded. "well, can i join you up there?" i asked and he shrugged.

"as long as you aren't some weirdo." he retorted.

i climbed up the ladder and then sat with him. i looked forward and there was the best view of the nature around us.

"how did you get out here though? do your parents know you're here so late?"

he sighed. "there are no parents. well, my mom but my dad died when i was four. my mom doesn't know i'm here and she doesn't even know this place exists. i don't want her to. here, she can't hurt me and make me sad."

my heart ached. "i'm sorry, kid. i understand how you feel. my mom- well, i didn't have a mom really. but the ones i did have were always mean to me."

"moms? you had more than one?"

i nodded. "yeah. foster moms. every single one of them hated me. i don't know why, but they always used to make me sad and hurt me too." i looked at him.

"i'm sorry." he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. it was very unexpected, but i returned it.

we sat together and chatted some more. whoever this kid was, was a blessing. i needed this moment before i would have completely lost myself after todays events.

"can you take me home? i'm tired. and i'm cold." he said softly.

we got off of the wooden stature and then went to my car. he gave me directions to his home. we pulled into the driveway of a huge, white home. i was amazed at the beauty in front of me.

"woah, kid. your mom must be loaded." i commented.

"she's just the mayor." he shrugged.

my eyes widened. the mayor?? i was hanging with the mayor's kid??? she has a son??

i parked my car and then the both of us got out. we walked up the path of the home and the door swung open. a distraught, tiny woman came down her steps and rushed to her son.

"zion! you're safe!" she had clearly been crying. i never thought i would see the small woman like this but here we are.

she pulled him into her chest, cupping the back of his head and pressing several kisses to it. my attention was pulled away by my coworker.

"petty? you, umm, know them?" i asked and he nodded.

"maraj and i are good friends. i have known her for years." he responded, but i could just feel that there was something more to them.

maraj finally looked at me after embracing her child.

"it's you? you were with my son?" she asked me, stepping closer to me.

"um- yes. i happened to have found him and i decided to bring him home. i was glad i found him, and not anyone else." i gave her a smile.

she sniffled then wiped her face. "i don't know how i could repay you." she smiled back.

"a drink would be nice." i sighed, the memories from my day flooding back. i shuddered at the thought which im sure she noticed.

"how about you come in for a drink? i make the best cider." the woman offered. i didn't know if i could trust this lady, but she was the mayor.

"i'll come right in." i responded with a grateful tone, walking into her home along with her son.

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a/n: beyoncé in a few days and i'm about to burst into a fit of flames dude

and i need a new wardrobe. but i have no sense of my own style so it's hard. especially being plus sized so what in the actual fawk

anywhore, hey y'all :)

how do y'all feel about this so far?

chapter 4 is locked and loaded so let me know when y'all want it ;)

new friends? i don't really have any here and i want some 😭

byee i love y'all <3