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ִ ࣪𖤐
NIGHTTIME WAS MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE DAY AT COUSINS. For some reason, I just felt the most at peace. After dinner, I had retreated to my room so I could change for the bonfire. I wasn't super keen on going, but I figured I owed it to the boys since I wasn't here last year.
I changed into a pair of jean shorts and a pastel pink tank top, accompanied with a tied white crochet top. I left my hair down, and put a hair tie around my wrist in case I wanted to put it up.
Grabbing my camera, I flip my light-switch off and make my way out to the backyard.
When I get there, I find Conrad sitting with his legs dangling into the pool. There's a beer next to him, and a lit joint in his hand. He's already staring at me when I look at his face, so I give him a smile. "Hey, Con."
He nods, looking to the pool. "Hey."
I abandon my plans of taking nature b-roll for just a moment and walk closer to the pool. I settle on Conrad's left, crossing my legs so they don't touch the water. "Would you mind sharing?" I question, eyeing the joint. I was no stranger to weed, or alcohol for that matter. I wasn't all that into it until last summer, for obvious reasons.
"I'm not letting you smoke, Stels." He shakes his head, then takes another hit.
"Why not? You think if I hadn't already I would've asked?" I scoff playfully, messing with the ends of my sleeves.
"You, Estella Baker, have smoked weed?" He gasps, placing a hand over his heart. "What has the world come to?"
I roll my eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I've gone to parties, Conrad. I'm not a homebody."
Conrad hums thoughtfully. "My Star has changed, I guess."
My heart skips when he calls me that. My Star. Taking a deep breath, I speak truthfully in a way only I know how to. "I had to find a way to cope somehow." I laugh lightly.
When I look up to him, Conrad isn't smiling. He's looking at me with a frown, his eyes searching my face for any kind of emotion to show I'm joking. "It's okay, you can laugh." I nudge my shoulder against his arm. I bite my bottom lip when I see he's not, in fact, laughing. He's looking at me with this unexplainable look, and for some reason I let my words tumble out. "It was the only way I could forget. About Care, you know?" I say softly.
Conrad nods, and then he's offering me the joint. I let my eyes flicker to his before taking it and taking my own hit. I make it long, and then hand the joint back to the boy next to me. "I—"
