Love Incarnated.

• 24

"I'm going to go see my parents tomorrow"
I turn and look at him "What?"

After we were done eating dinner he volunteered to wash the dishes so I decided to keep him company while Aya gets ready for bed.

I sat on the kitchen island swinging my legs and watching him absentmindedly.
"Yeah, I have to go see them. I have no reason to hide from anyone"

"Are you sure you don't?"
"Yes, we should go after Zuhur"

I laugh "Oh no, I'm not going with you. Not after what happened"
He keeps the sponge in the sponge bowl and turns to look at me "You never did tell me what they did"

"Nothing I couldn't handle"
He smiles "I know, that's why I want you to be there. If I'm back now I need to put some ground rules and limits"

I nod.
That didn't sound so bad, plus I do want to see their reaction when they see him.

I jump off "Okay, I should go check up on Aya and put her to sleep because I think is growing a habit of sleeping late"
"Alright"

As I was about to walk out I stop "I've been talking to Abdulhameed" I blurt out.

He looks at me "What? Which Abdulhameed?"
"My ex" I don't know why I felt bad saying it, it's not like we did anything and it's not like anything is going to happen either but I still felt bad.

"Since when?"
"A long time ago"

"How frequent do you two talk?"
"At first I was avoiding him but we talk more frequently"

"Still?"
I nod "Till date".

"About what?"
I raise my eyebrows "What does that matter? He's been a good friend"

He sighs "Asiya, your ex cannot be your friend"
"And why is that? Despite how I avoided him like a plague he still stuck by me"

"Because he still likes you. Or am I wrong?"
"No, but he wants to. He doesn't see it as being led on, he vents too. We're just two people who have no one to talk to"
"You've suddenly ran out of friends to talk to?"

"Nope, cause I'm talking to him"
He huffs in frustration "Asiya, I don't want you talking to him. You said it yourself that he still likes you so why string him on?"
"No, I didn't string him on. Like I said we're vent buddies"

He scoffs "Vent buddies? Really? You still talk to him?"
"Till date"

"Why? I'm here, why can't you talk to me instead?"
I scoff, laughing sarcastically "Vent to you? You're incapable of venting, incapable of listening to someone vent so babe, that's why I can't vent to you. Before I could ignore it but not anymore, a lot of times I feel like I don't know you and you only know me because I'm a plain and open book, I mean everyone knows me with just one look, you said it yourself"

He walks over, takes a deep breath and rests his hands on my shoulders "I'm not good with expressing emotions neither am I good with comforting them"

"I'm not saying you have to change overnight but I don't need you looking for the nearest exit whenever I'm moody because you don't know what to say and no matter how I look at it I think that's the same reason why you don't trust me"

He just stares at me "What? Why would you think that?"
"Why wouldn't I? I'm your wife and somehow you tell me nothing and I am sick and tired of always trying to be the understanding one" I smile "Babe, I love you, so much. I almost lost my sanity when I thought I lost you because I didn't want to live in a world without you, all I did everyday was to regret the time that I spent away from you and Aya. I cried myself to sleep and I wake up in even more pain when you're not there and that's what I did till the day you came back. That's how much you meant to me and I cannot deny that knowing you were somewhere else all that time that I was in pain—it makes me wonder if you actually love me. How you could have survived that long without us and yet—it really makes me wonder. I want to know if you're in this with me or if I'm alone and you can be honest with me, I won't take it personal. I love you enough to know when to let go"

"Let go?" He asks confused "Why would you—"
"I don't know. I still don't know what happened during those 14months and why you left in the first place and if you don't want to tell me, fine but I'm done with your secrets" I turn around to walk away.

"I'd never leave you, ever"
I smile "Goodnight, make sure to switch off the lights before you head upstairs. Don't stay up too late"

::

Aisha.

I smile.
I have a feeling things aren't going so well for my husband and his mistress, he's been behaving like a lost puppy for weeks now and I hate to admit it but I enjoy it. Not because he's in pain but Nasir vulnerable is cute, needy, emotional and weak.

He insisted on eating out today so we came out.
"What are you having?" I ask looking through the menu.

He sat back looking at his glass of water idly.
"Nasir?"
He was zoned out completely.
"Nasir? What do you want? Or do you want to eat the same thing I order?" I ask smiling.

He raises his head and looks at me, he looked lifeless, like he had nothing to live for, right now I don't like this look.

"Are you okay? You seemed just fine a few minutes ago"

He sits up, resting his arms on the table "No, I haven't been alright in weeks but because you enjoyed my vulnerability you didn't ask, you didn't want to know because you didn't want to help, if you helped then I'd bounce back and you wouldn't like that, right?"

"What?" I ask playing dumb "How could you say something like that? That was why I sent the children to your parent's place"

He scoffs "Those children kept my spirits up. Is this what you want? A shell? A man you can control as you dim fit? Unfortunately I'm not that man"
"What's that supposed to mean?"

"The reason I've been out of it for weeks is because I lost my job"
"How is that possible? You work for your father"

He nods "I told them that I'm leaving you, of course they tried to persuade and when I insisted they cut me off. I stayed because I wanted to see what would happen"

I was confused "What would happen? What do you mean? Nasir you're making zero sense"
He shakes his head "I wanted to see what you would do if I became vulnerable. Do you know the kind of self control it took for me to let go of you slapping me across the face because I didn't want to leave the bed? Don't get me wrong, I know I've done terrible things to you. There's no excuse for what I've done but I can't stay with you any longer"

I scoff "Really? Isn't all that an excuse because Kubrah left you?"

"Admittedly yes, she left me for another man and it broke my heart because I love her more than anything else but not enough to leave my children. With her I realized how it must have felt, living with someone who only has his own reasons for being with you but I can't do this anymore Aisha, I'm done"

"No, you're not"
He smiles "Don't worry, my parents will continue to sponsor you and you can keep the house. All I want is to spend time with my children from time to time"

"And you're not getting that, either stay or you can forget about them"
He chuckles "I'd rather die than stay married to you dear wife and you cannot stop me from seeing my children. If you do, you know me, I will take them away from you. It's not like you're a great mother anyway" he smiles "Now I feel free. How about one last meal together, huh? For old times"

I hiss and stand "You're not leaving that easy"
"We'll see. And oh—maybe you should talk to Asiya"

I look at him confusedly "Why?"
He raises his head and looks at me "Her husband is back from the dead. I saw them a few days ago at the shopping mall"

My mouth drops "What?"
He nods "I was just as surprised, a man that quiet always has something to hide"

"Whatever" I walk away.

How could Abdullah be alive?
Could it really be true.

I call her cellphone but she doesn't pick up.
"I have to go see her" I hurry out.

::