Love Incarnated.

• 19

Thank You.

I hate those words.
Do you know the feeling of liking someone so much that you wish you'd never met them?
I love Asiya and I know we're here now because I couldn't go against my parents but if I had taken her away back then, would we have been happier? Or worse?

I know my life the past 9years has felt so empty and unpleasant but she's been happy, she found happiness in someone else and I wish she was still that happy.

"You're quiet"
I raise my head and look at my mother, she's my step mother. My mother died 7years ago.
"What do you expect me to say?"

She sighs "Whenever you come by you barely say two words and stay nothing longer than thirty minutes, why?"

I look at her in disbelief while my father just watched us "Why? Are you serious?"
She looked confused.

"You really have no idea why I'd be angry at you two?"
My father scoffs "So you can openly and confidently say you're angry at your parents?"

"I'm not a child you can control anymore. If I'm angry, I'll tell you I'm angry. You people have already ruined my life and you want to control what's left of it?"

She shakes her head "I asked you here to talk about—"
"—about how I don't spend time with my daughter and wife?"

I stare at them.
"What happens between my family has nothing to do with you so kindly stay out of it"
"Do not disrespect your mother"

"When I'm speaking my mind it's disrespect? If you think so. But stay out of my affairs"
"We're your parents, we have too" he says.

"Remember when you told me to stay away from Asiya, when you told me to avoid and not contact her if I still wanted to have parents? Remember? Do you also remember how my grandmother and sisters tried to interfere but you said that they had no right to make decisions about your family? Well—right back at you. I'm tired of letting the fear of being disowned corner me into doing everything you want and I still don't understand why you didn't want me to marry Asiya but that's in the past now anyway—at least until she agrees to be mine again"

He sits up "What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that Asiya is free to marry whoever she wants" I stand "And I'm thinking that person is me"

::

I sit next to Uthman gulping down the water in my water bottle. He and I have been coming to a basketball court to play every Sunday.

"You're a little sloppy today" he says watching the others play.
I shrug.
"Are you playing it out to be nothing?"

I shake my head "How's work?"
He looks at me "You really are"
I say nothing just staring at the bottle.

"I'm guessing trouble in paradise?"
I scoff "She's been too quiet lately and it bothers me"

"Really? Why? Shouldn't you be happy that maybe she's just accepting reality?"
"Not Halima, I have a very strong feeling she's planning something and it's not a good feeling"

He nods "Have you asked her?"
"You think she's just going to come clean and admit it? That's not her style. She's more of an action rather than words kind of person"

He stays quiet.

"Maybe it's about time you give your relationship a try—I mean the girl genuinely loves you and you two have a child together. You're avoiding her so much you don't spend that much time with your daughter".

"She wants another child and I'm not ready for that. Atika is still so young anyway—oh and by the way she asked me to invite you and the family over for her 6th birthday next weekend"
He smiles "Yeah, the wife told me. She's been talking about it all day and I have no idea why"