Skins & Needles (COMPLETE)

Just Tonight Part 2

Charlotte

I pushed off the counter and headed for my bedroom. I wanted out of my dusty clothes, and I was too close to shedding frustrated tears. Not moments earlier, I had wanted nothing but for Arsen to stay, but my emotions were like a swinging pendulum after the day I'd had, and I almost couldn't stand to be around him. I didn't understand why it would have been so bad for us to be together, and I wasn't sure I ever would, but I couldn't help but feel deflated.

I stripped down to my underwear before I noticed Arsen watching me from my doorway, but it didn't bother me.

"Nothing you haven't seen before," I grumbled as I fished around in a drawer for my nightgown. When I found it, I turned back toward my door and glared as I pulled it over my head. It rested just below my butt, but it covered enough that I didn't catch flame under Arsen's gaze. Once I was somewhat dressed, I moved to sit on the edge of my bed and crossed my arms.

"Well?"

Arsen's gaze didn't waver once the entire time I changed, and I wondered what he was thinking. Nothing, probably. I mean, there's no way I wouldn't want to grab his sexy ass and throw him on the bed if he was running around the room naked, and he didn't even blink when it was me.

"I'm here because I care, Charlotte," he said finally. "I can never care like... like that, but you're still my friend. I was worried about you, and I needed to see you were okay."

I didn't say anything for a moment. I knew what he meant when he said care "like that," but when he said he couldn't, I wasn't sure if it was because of rules, or because he didn't feel that way. Either way, the repeated friendzoning was getting a little rough, especially when I wasn't actively making moves on him. Last time I'd seen him, he told me he wanted to kiss me. I guess those things were long forgotten now. Not that I'd ever forget how kissing him had felt. Fuck. I had fallen too hard too fast and now I was paying the price.

"I am okay," I sighed, and rubbed the bridge of my nose beneath my glasses. "So, I guess you can go."

I kept my eyes closed as I pinched my nose, but when Arsen didn't say anything for a long time, I looked up thinking he would be gone.

Instead, I got a gaze so intense my breath stopped. Arsen watched me with a cuttingly raw expression that pinned me to my seat, and I couldn't begin to guess what it meant. The only thing I knew was that he hadn't moved.

"Unless, you want to stay?" I said tentatively. I watched his reaction, and he watched mine, but neither of us moved.

"I shouldn't," he said finally, and this time I was expecting the blow. It still hurt, but not as badly.

"I know. You should go."

"Do you want me to stay?"

His question caught me off guard, but it almost felt like he was putting the ball in my court. I stood from my place on the bed and walked the few steps toward him until we were close enough to touch.

"I haven't seen you in a month," I reminded him, and brushed a stray hair off his shirt.

"I know," he sighed. "I've been busy, and—"

"Shhh." I took a step back. "I know why. At least, enough why."

"I guess I'll leave then," he said, and I nodded.

"I guess." My voice was soft, and I could feel a familiar prickling in my eyes, a hint of aching in my chest.

"Goodnight, Charlotte," Arsen said quietly.

"I'll walk you out," I replied. I brushed past Arsen, half expecting him to grasp my arm and pull me back around as he had at the shop, but he let me go. I went straight to my back door and flung it open. I was ready for this night to be over. I wanted a glass of wine and my bed, and I wanted the pain I felt going around and around like this with Arsen to cease. We couldn't be together because of some divide between his world and mine. Fine. Then why did he keep coming around? I wanted him to stay so badly. But I needed this to stop.

Arsen didn't pause as he breezed past me and out the door, and I didn't watch him go. I closed the door behind him, and immediately went for the wine.

Only, I was crying then, and after fumbling with the bottle opener for long enough, I gave up and went to bed.

I told myself Arsen's visit meant nothing. I hadn't seen him since the fourth, and he had only come to make sure I wasn't dead. He hadn't stuck around, and he was as clear as ever that we couldn't be. So, the sunken feeling I had at the end of the day was just me being ridiculous.

I pressed my face into my pillow and let out a frustrated scream. At this rate, I was half-considering moving again. Who knew how long I had in this city anyway? He could catch up to me at any time, and it's not like I really belonged. I sure as hell would never belong with any of the circles, and even my shopmates had their own lives that I wasn't a part of outside of work and occasional happy hours. Maybe I'd have better luck somewhere else. I'd always wanted to go to Austin. I bet there were some cool shops that would take me there. Hell, I wouldn't mind Chicago either, if I could find a way to afford the cost of living.

But I'd come to love Phoenix.

Just not my lack of place in it.

The thought of starting again and leaving the people I cared about but would never belong with sent a pang through my chest, and I let out a soft sob. Why was I so weak right now? I'd survived much worse than any of this. I guess my walls had always been up then. But I'd made the foolish mistake of loosening my armor.

I was so caught up in my own tangle of thoughts that I almost didn't feel the bed shifting next to me, but when I did, I screamed.