Skins & Needles (COMPLETE)

Nowhere, Arizona Part 2

Charlotte

Once Arsen was out of sight, I headed for the kitchen. I needed to find something to wash my painkillers down with, and wanted to poke through his pantry. I found a glass in one of the cupboards and a water pitcher in the fridge, and went to pop a pill out when the label caught my eye.

Oxycodone.

The word jumped out at me like a rattlesnake and sunk its fangs into my memory before I could look away. The bottle slipped from my fingers and landed on the floor with a clatter, spilling little white pills everywhere, but I barely saw. Instead I saw dirty white walls and a twin sized mattress.

"Did you get them?" a voice I recognized asked from the living room. Hugh.

"I always find a way," he said. "Do you have the cash?"

"I always find a way," Hugh snickered back. He always thought he was so damn clever. I heard a plastic bag rustle as he counted out bills, and then two hands slapping together in a rough shake. I stared at my foot, the appendage encased in a thick boot, and tried to ignore the two of them.

"Charlotte!" he yelled. "Bring out the pills! Hugh's here."

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment before pushing to my feet. I gritted my teeth when pain shot up my leg, comforted only by the knowledge that this would be the last time. Just six months. Six months, and I was gone.

I picked up the little white paper bag containing a bottle of oxycodone with my name on it and trudged out to the living room. I handed it over to him without looking up, and turned to head back to my bedroom. A hand on my arm stopped me.

"Now, Charlotte, why don't you have a little fun with us before I take off," Hugh suggested with a less-than-innocent grin. "They are supposed to be for you, after all. I'll spare one of my stash if I get to watch a pretty little thing like you smile."

"I'm good, thanks," I muttered, and tried to walk away. A different hand stopped me this time.

"Hugh wants you to do a round with us," he said. "So you will."

"No. Thank you." My words came out more forcefully, and I yanked my arm from his grip.

Slap.

I fell to the floor hard and yelped in pain as my broken ribs jostled.

Broken ribs?

I thought it had been my leg.

"Charlotte, are you okay?"

He never asked me if I was okay. He never cared. What was going on?

"Charlotte!"

I snapped my eyes open to see Arsen crouching down beside me and looked around wildly. No dirty white walls. Only clean cedar.

"What happened?" I asked, eyes darting around until I spotted the scattered pills. "Oh."

"You want to tell me why I came down to find you shaking on my kitchen floor with," he paused to scoop up a handful of pills, "these everywhere?"

"I..." I trailed off. I liked Arsen. He was handsome, and charming, and had a great house, and I felt like we got along. I'll admit it. I kind of liked him. But I did not want to tell him why I had lost my fucking mind for a moment there. I didn't want to tell anyone. That past was dead. It just sometimes found a way to breathe for a minute before I killed it again.

"Are you okay?" Arsen was asking, and I looked up to see worry dancing in his amber eyes. "Do you need me to take you back to Dr. Shannon?"

"I'm fine," I muttered, and looked down at the mess I'd made. "Just had a bit of a... spell. Or something."

"I don't blame you for not trusting me," Arsen began. "In fact, I don't want you to trust me. But that was more than a spell, Charlotte. Does this happen often?"

"No, not often," I answered honestly. "I was... caught off guard."

"What can I do to help?"

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and bit back tears. Was this how it felt to have someone care? At least the illusion of it? Was this how it felt to be taken care of?

Don't be a dumbass, I scolded myself, remembering what Arsen told me in the car about knowing the circles' secrets. You're only going to get attached. He doesn't want you to be part of his life. Don't forget that.

"Char?" When I met his gaze again, he gently touched my cheek with his fingertips, and my chest twisted violently. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry...

"Can you just throw these away for me?" I asked, and pushed myself up and onto my feet. I always got back up. This time was no different.

"Why?"

"Please, Arsen?"

He must have heard the tremor in my voice, because he nodded and wordlessly scooped the pills back into the bottle and chucked it in the trash. I only watched for a moment, before turning my back to the mess and chugging down some water.

"All I have is ibuprofen," he said from somewhere behind me.

"That's fine." My voice sounded far away, and I bit the inside of my cheek. "That's perfect. I'm sorry for that."

"Don't apologize," he told me, and then said the most perfect thing he possibly could have. "Invictus, remember?"

It was like he knew.

Somehow, I found a way to smile.

"And yet the menace of the years/ Finds and shall find me unafraid," I whispered. A prayer. A praise. A promise.

---

Sorry this is so late! I was on a roll for a bit there but I wound up going on a writing spree to finish my horror novella, PANE and forgot about all else.

Anyway, PANE is done and comes out on Oct. 25th, and I'm back with S&N updates!

Happy reading!

-Haybails