secret love | jimin ff

chapter 33 ||

**

Jimin parked in front of the building, and I could see Jungkooks car in the parking lot. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Hey, look at me" Jimin said.

I listened and turned my head towards him. "Don't let him get to you like that. Remember it's his loss okay? You're amazing" he said, smiling. I chuckled. "Thanks Jimin." He flicked my nose jokingly making me laugh.

"Should I pick you up after too?" He asked. I shook my head. "I think I'll walk, I need the air" I joked. He chuckled and nodded. I said goodbye to him and he drove off.

"I'm okay." I whispered to myself before walking inside. I took one last deep breath before opening the door to the studio. And there he was. On the floor, stretching. I could feel my heart racing. When the door swung closed he turned his head.

He quickly got up, but didn't say anything. My father always tried teaching me to be the bigger person, so that was what I was going for. "Hi" I said, smiling as I put my bag on the floor. God this hurts.

"Hey" he answered. I could tell he was nervous and uncomfortable, as was I but I was determined to hide it. "Okay ready?" I asked going to put on the music, wanting to just get it over with. "Uh yeah. You don't wanna stretch or anything? For your knee or—" he started.

I shook my head and cut him off. "Nope I'm fine. Let's go." I went into position, and he joined in quickly after. This being my first dance practice in a little while, I could tell this was not going to be a good practice. Not even halfway through the routine I forgot the moves and was completely off.

"Fuck" I whispered putting my hands over my face. Already I was getting irritated. Jungkook paused the music. "Did you forget?"

"Yes I forgot okay!" I snapped, turning my back to him, pacing around trying to figure out the moves. I could tell he was a bit taken aback by my tone. "Want me to show you?" He asked softly. "No let's just go again" I answered.

He sighed, but did what I said and started from the beginning. Things were going pretty decent for the first half. Before everything had happened I had just mastered the hardest part of our routine, but I quickly learned it didn't stick.

It started with a complicated jump, to which I did and landed wrong on my knee, but I kept going. I could see Jungkook in the mirror spotting it, but he didn't say anything.

Then once again, I forgot the next part. I shook my head at myself, and bent down with my head down. You got this, you got this, you got this, I kept repeating to myself. I could feel some slight discomfort from my knee, but it was how I lost the choreography that bothered me most.

I didn't even hear the music turning off, before I felt a hand on my shoulder. I quickly looked up, moved slightly away, and then looked down again.

I could hear Jungkook sigh, before sitting down next to me. "Y/N" he said. I ignored him. "Y/N please talk to me"

I was so angry. At myself, at dance, at him, I could lash out any minute. I tried to take a deep breath. "What is it" he asked. Snap.

I frowned, and chuckled. "What is it?" I repeated. "Did you seriously ask me what's wrong? Oh I don't know, maybe I just got dumped, maybe I can't remember the choreography, maybe my knee is fucked and MAYBE my life sucks right now!" I yelled out. His eyes widened slightly, before shaking his head.

"That's not fair. You know this isn't easy for me either" he stated. "Didn't see you not eating, showering or going to school for a week." I blankly answered.

"But you could've talked to me! I told you I was still here. And I would be glad to help you with the choreography but you won't even look at me" he said. I could tell he was hurt, but so was I. I felt the tears rolling down.

"Maybe because every time I look at you I remember what I used to have. And it kills me to not kiss you and love you. You taught me what love is suppose to feel like. The one guy I have had something real with, and you want me to just let it go?" I cried out. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

The room fell silent. "I feel like that too" he started. "You know how long I liked you? All the times we slept together , and you just ignoring me afterwards, do you even realise how much that hurt? And when you finally gave me a chance, god I don't remember the last time I was so happy. Every time I looked at you it gave me butterflies, and it still does!" He added. I looked at him, and the tears just kept coming at his words.

"The dancing, LA...it's a dream. But you were a dream too, and you still are. I just know how much I would hurt me and you if we did this long distance. It doesn't mean I will just forget you" he finished, and I could hear the hurt and desperation in his voice. Now I felt selfish.

It was his turn to look down now. I wiped my tears, before leaning into him and giving him a hug. I had no words to say. I understood him, and he understood me.

He was shocked for a moment, before I felt him reach around my waist, hugging me back. I took my hands around his neck, pulling him closer. "I'm sorry" I whispered. I felt his grip tighten at my words.

"I'm sorry too" he replied. For some reason this felt like closure. Hearing how he felt and him just listening to what I was feeling too, it felt good. I pulled away slightly, looking into his eyes.

I slightly smiled. "Let's just not say anything else" I said. He returned the smile and pinched my nose to lighten the mood. I chuckled and jokingly pushed him away from me. "Wanna show me that choreography now?"

He grinned. "Happy to"

**

"I'm home" I yelled as I entered the door. "Hi sweetie" my mom yelled from the living room. I walked further in to see my mom on the couch, reading a book. She smiled when she saw me, and turned her attention towards me.

"Sooo...how did it go?" She asked nervously. I returned a smile before speaking. "Good...it went good. I think I'm going to be okay" She smiled even wider. "I know you are"

I was about to say good night when she spoke first. "One question. Earlier at the table, what was it with you and Jimin sharing a room?" She questioned. I could feel my cheek start to heat up.

"Oh uh, nothing. Just surprising that's all" I answered, trying to act all natural. "Mhm-hm..." she said before giving me a questionable and teasing look. "Mom I swear!"

She put her hands up defensively, and got up to kiss my cheek. "Whatever you say Y/N, but remember...a mother always knows" she said before walking off to her bedroom.

I cringed at the thought of my mother knowing about me and Jimin. I chuckled to myself, before going to my room. I closed the door, and flinched as I turned around.

"Jesus you scared me!" I exclaimed. Jimin laughed. He was laying on an air mattress on the floor. "Yeah sorry, your parents wanted to clean up the guest room a bit before I could have it so...here I am"

I nodded and smiled. "Okay well, guess we are getting some practice for the Maldives then" I joked. Jimin shyly smiled and turned his attention back to his phone. I walked over to my closet and grabbed some pyjamas. "I'm just gonna go get ready for bed"

He hummed in response, being too focused on his screen to even care.

After 15 minutes I came back, and he had fallen asleep with his phone still on playing a YouTube video. I couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of him.

I walked over and locked his phone, putting it beside him. I took in the sight of him. He looked so peaceful and cute. I smiled to myself, before leaning down and kissing his cheek. "Goodnight" I whispered, before heading into my own bed and quickly falling asleep.

**