Hello again, everybody!
It's been longer than anticipated, and to be frank (though even Frank would be disappointed with this...) I can't say I'll continue this book. I really hate to be another author that goes on hiatus only to return with the announcement of their leave, but I'd be selling us all short if I continued writing halfheartedly, or just continued some indefinite break. I've wanted to return with a passion for writing these oneshots, and that's why it's taken so long for me to come back. I can't find it in me anymore. Maybe i'm overwhelmed with things like summer school, but I genuinely can't find the time or enjoyment to sit down and invest myself and time into writing these sort of things.
That's that, but I'd appreciate if you could keep reading this A/N, I really want to give my long thanks and love to you all. There's a lack of words to express how warmly I will regard this time of my life. It's a bit embarrassing, and a part of me will wish I'd put it behind me, but it's the truth. I have severe depression and anxiety, which led to my schools being transferred and a sort of falling out with my few friends. I began writing these small stories in hopes of comforting myself, and gaining some attention. As that traction grew, I found myself caring so deeply not simply for praise or approval, but to hear how you were all doing, why or how you enjoyed it, what you wanted to read... For me to provide a sort of custom and decent story for any of you to any capacity has made me feel so fulfilled. I want to continue it, I remember every one of your requests, the ones I've done and haven't, and spend hours imagining how I'd write it. Somehow, the idea of actually sitting down and perusing it comes across almost haunting. I think i've just worn myself thin from things.
That being said, please know I'm always thinking about those requests. I treasure them, and the trust you've passed in me to fulfill your dreams, or to supply another reality where you can find solace and simply pure joy. I will never forget nor take it for granted. The only thing I'd like to ask is that you remember regardless if we've talked or not, that I give you my full love, comfort and support, and will be there beside you whenever you need it. You'll always have someone from now on, whenever you need it.
I remember the first night I published a chapter, curled to the edge of my bed, it being something like 3 in the morning. I'd probably been trying to punish myself by making myself stay up late, and I finally found it in me to fall asleep as I imagined the warmth and gentleness of Welcome Home. The next day I did the same, until I did it whenever I could, craving for that satisfaction of safety and the chance to interact with you all. Today, I'm writing this in a lit room, sitting in a chair with my back straight. I don't feel gross, I am worried about certain things, but generally confident. I know soon after pressing publish I will go to bed. This development is thanks to you. I sometimes wish I could know some of you in real life, I'd love to see your own progress, to see your happiness. You're all precious and talented people.
Another thank you to anyone who has commented something personal on my stories, I truly treasure them. You are so resilient and deserving, I can't even begin to describe the comfort you all deserve to be basked in. I wish that there was some way we could all be neighbors, blissfully living in carefree and vibrant colors as we bake and share hobbies. I really mean it, I think that's a new dream of mine...
A final thank you to Yellowwwwww9 and @RandomThingsOfMine for everything. Your comments and requests really did make my days or nights, you're really such sweethearts! (/platonic of course). Thank you, thank you, thank you! You'll never know how much happier you all made me, and I hope you also continue to find happiness.
I really do love you all,
until we meet again!
🍎
