Lashton AU One-Shots

Drowning

Warning – Drug + Alcohol Abuse // Suicide // Blood // Swearing

Submerged in the ocean, I felt the sound of the waves over me –

penetrating the sea and pulling me in further deep.

No amount of oxygen could replace what I'd already lost.

And no force could help me surface quick enough –

As I was already in too deep.

Now picture this once more –

Only you're the ocean and my love is the sea

And the sound waves are your words, constantly drowning me

I was out too far.

I was in too deep.

Only because I thought, that I'd want to be yours too...

******

The two were raving and ranting for close to two hours now. In less than half an hour it soon escalated to flying furniture – lamps, vases, glass cups, plates and plant pots were all over the place. The dispute began when Ashton, completely whacked and drunk out of his mind, stumbled home and through the doorway of their shared apartment. For months now, Luke has tried to help him, to help him through this problem and keep him clean and abandon his creeping demons.

"Ashton, I honestly tried. I really did. Do you even know what it's like for me to see you slowly killing yourself from the inside out?" Luke huffed, holding himself upright against the red lounge. The younger's knuckles were bruised in crimson, while the elder wore the same colour but along his cheek and nose. Tell anyone, but this was Luke's only possible way of getting Ashton to stop, recalibrate and pay the much-craved attention to the issue at hand.

"Did you think it was going to be easy?" the alcohol fuelled man answered after a couple of seconds. He was right about one thing, addiction was never an easy feat nor would it just disappear with holding onto any drop of hope and praying it would just leave forever and never return. Addiction is often described as a disease, like cancer, it spreads and first affects the individual. Soon enough it affect their friends, family and dearly loved ones, and like the victim it killed them to see them slowly, but quickly fade away into the hands of death. "Or do you still stupidly believe that miracles actually happen? This isn't fantasy, Luke, it's reality..."

"I never thought anything like that. All I did was put my trust, my faith... and my love for you into every single goddamn day that fucking passed! Don't you dare lie to me and say you deny that!" Luke cried, shuddering in a shaky breath from his emotional break down just minutes prior. He stared down with contempt at his soon to be former boyfriend, who was leaning on his elbow, lying on the floor and cradling his injured face with an expression Luke couldn't quite possibly read. Was he angry? Sad? Confused? Happy? Or was it all those things?

The two had refused to move since Luke threw the last couple of harsh blows forcing Ashton, who was already unbalanced, to stumble backwards and hit his head on the back of a wooden coffee table. Part of the smaller boy's conscience knew Ashton had this coming for a long, long time but he put all of his remaining strength into stopping himself from breaking under all the pressure. Now it felt like all those feelings suddenly have broken free from their cage and erupted into a vivid explosion of frustration, helplessness, disgust and despair. Luke had to keep reminding himself that love would always prevail and that they both made a promise that Ashton would make it through this. He had held onto this idea that Ashton loved him enough to break this addiction, clearly love wasn't strong enough and it was then that he realised that love only existed in fairy tales and that they would stop this evil and live happily ever after. What was this horrible place?... Oh it was just reality.