Thin Line In Between

Chapter 20

Godt, Copter and Bas was sitting in the living room, when Copter had called Bas to come back home that evening. Feeling astonished as well as nervous, Bas had asked his father's driver to drive him back to the house. He came in to the awkward space, with Godt and Copter sitting away from each other, makes Bas more afraid and nervous. He knows that Godt had known about everything, and he felt afraid to face him after what he did.

"Cop, PGodt...." Godt looking up at him and was asking him to take a seat. Slowly he came closer and taking a seat on single seater sofa, on Godt's left and opposite to Copter.

Godt then turned to him with a small warm smile. "How are you Bas?" That's all he asked, but then Bas suddenly kneeling in front of him, holding and kissing his hand. "I'm sorry, P'Godt. I didn't meant to betray your trust, and I still loves you so much. Please forgive me." Bas had begged while crying and Godt was pulling him up to sit beside him, wiping his tears, while still gives him the same small warm smile.

"It's okay. I don't blame you nor hates you for that. Copter had told me everything, though he put it all on him." Godt then turned to Copter who looking back at him with unreadable expression, but his eyes was teary.

To that, Bas was shaking his head, "No, it....." Godt then put his pointer finger on Bas's mouth trying to stop him from continue his words. He know what he will say, and that was unnecessary since he already knew that. Copter had always put Bas's first, no matter in what condition, and of course Godt knows better.

"I know. I know. You don't have to say anything. I want you to know that I'm not angry at you or Cop. The truth is, I loves you, Bas, but I had always loves Cop." Bas's eyes got wider and Godt's tears just come out without been controlled anymore.

"What are you....trying...to say..P'Godt?" Bas was clearly confused.

"I wanted to apologize to you, Bas. Up till this point, there is a secret that I kept to myself, and only this morning I makes it clearly to Copter. And I think I should let you know too, from me, not from Copter, or from anyone." Bas is still confused and Copter was just keeps looking down the floor while fidgeting with his fingers.

"But before that, I want you to know that I really loves you, and it came from my heart. Your cuteness, your honesty and your shyness had captivated me at one point, but..."

Bas was frowning hearing the word 'but', "But what, P'Godt?"

"I just couldn't brushed away the love that was carved into my heart for so long." Bas got more confused by the second hearing Godt.

"I had loves Copter for so long already. In fact I was falling in love with him on the first sight. But since then, I was already too late, and then you came. Looking at the way his looking at you, I realize that it was you, but then you came onto me. Copter too, had encourage me to accept you, knowing that you likes me very much at the time. The reason I'm accepted you was at the time, that I don't really wanted to disappoint Copter and at the same time wanted to have you around me so that Copter too will be around me, knowing he loves you that much. I was despicable, I know, and I'm sorry. But then, I really fall in love with you, Bas, and I never pretend to love you. The moment I said I loves you the first time, is from the heart. I know I'm taking my time, but at least, I was honest with you. I don't want it to sound like an excuse, but that was the truth, Bas."

Bas then was looking at Godt and Copter who was still looking down the floor.

"But then, I always knew how Copter loves you so much, but he was able to accept whatever you decide, including me. And I know, that deep in your heart, you loves him too, with all the attention and care you have for him, there's no way you didn't loves him as much as he loves you. Last night, between you and him, I might or might not expect it, but whichever, I could accept that. Thinking back, actually I'm the third person between you two. So, I decided, I should be the one who leaves."

Godt then kissed Bas's forehead who was still in a confused state, trying to digest all the things Godt had thrown to him, while Godt was standing up, trying to walk away, but Copter had hold on to his hand, prevented him to do so. Copter then was looking up at him, while tears keeps falling and shaking his head. He wasn't ready to let Godt leave. He was suppose to be the one who leave, not Godt.

Godt was pulling Copter's hold from his hand while keep giving him assurance that everything will be okay. Copter wanted to hold on to Godt's hand and never let go, but Godt was stronger. But before Godt could pulled Copter's hand away from his hold, Bas had standing up and hugging him from the back.

"No, I don't want to lose you. No one is going to leave. No one. This is our house, and we both loves Copter. We just had to accept him here, P'Godt." Bas's words making Copter standing up, looking at Bas, and Godt too turning around, forcing Bas to let go his hugs and now was facing two person that he loves the most in his life.

"I was thinking hard all this morning, locking myself up in the room. I felt really guilty to you, P'Godt, but to think that Cop had to put all the blame on himself and leave, I was so hurt, and desperate, and I don't think I could live without seeing him. Because if he ever leave today, that what will happen. P'Godt, I know when you were with me, I could feel that something missing. I was afraid to ask you, maybe because I was afraid you will make a decision that could hurt me, which I know you will never hurt me. You are just that kind of person. But since the one you loves is Copter, and I, too, loves him so much, we could just live together, can we?"

Godt was frowning. "Bas, did you realize what you are saying? It will not be the same anymore. I.... Copter...you...Copter....we...." Godt just couldn't really said out loud what he meant. He just think this is ridiculous.

"Bas....." Copter was trying to say, but Bas had cut him.

"Cop, do you love, P'Godt?" Copter was stunned. He didn't know how to answer that. He knows Godt is important in his life, because he was always there. Godt was like a family he didn't have and he is the only person who really cares for him, other than Bas.

BUt then, Godt was the one stopping Bas. "Don't do this, Bas. Copter had always loves you. This wasn't so..."

"I don't care." Copter suddenly said making Godt and Bas turned to him.

"I don't care what kind of feelings I had for you, Godt. I couldn't tell because this was all so sudden and confusing to me. You both had been in a steady relationship, and knew exactly what's in your heart. Even though I keep my feelings to Bas, but the fact that I just broken up with Tee and then my long one sided loves suddenly had been reciprocated, I'm not ready for any sudden changes, and you had been the constant in my life, Godt. I will figure out my feelings, just give me time, but one thing I know for sure, I don't want you to leave. I don't want you away from me, living life with anyone else. Call me selfish, call me stupid, but, I need you both in my life. I was so scared this whole morning thinking that I will be on my own. I know I was trying to assure Bas I will be okay, but the truth is, I was afraid. I don't have anyone else except for you both. Please, don't leave me."

Looking how Copter was crying his heart out, Godt couldn't help but to pull him into his hugs. Once hugged by Godt, Copter's cried got louder and Bas too, had hugged him from behind.

End of Chapter 20