When I wake in the morning, the room is empty and the apartment is completely silent. I'm unable to recall much of last night, but when I look down at my clothing I know it didn't go well.
I check the time on my watch, resting on the bedside table; it's 7:30. What am I doing up at this time?
Climbing from the bed I pull off my shirt and chuck it in the bin by the wardrobe.
My head is pounding from the excessive amounts of alcohol I consumed on Morgans stag do.
Memories of the night flood through my mind and multiple questions follow, like how the fuck did she survive and did she have our child?
I change quickly into another plain tshirt and a pair of dark grey track suit bottoms.
I try to stop my feet making loud padding noises as I make my way down the hall to the living room.
JJ is sleeping on the sofa, her long, dark blonde hair sprawled in a small halo around her head. Her mouth is partially open and her bare arm is draped over the blanket covering her.
Her skin is a slightly darker shade than the last time I saw her and her body a little thinner.
I take a seat on the sofa facing the area she's sleeping. Instead of turning on the television, I watch her sleep, finding some sense of comfort in knowing she's lay before me instead of six feet under.
After at least an hour of watching the woman sleep, her eyes flutter open, but the smile I'm so used to following that doesn't appear.
"I- I'm sorry, I- where's Sandy and Henry? I-" my sentence is cut short when I realise I sound like an idiot an must look like one too.
As she sits, I stand and head toward the hall. "Spence, please." her voice sounds through the quiet area, sending a chill down my spine.
Slowly, I turn to face her, but try hard not to make eye contact.
"I'm so sorry for all of this. I never meant to hurt any of you, I just-"
"You just what Jennifer?" I ask, cutting her off with a frown. "Do you have any idea of the shit you've put us though, I was so close to-" my voice begins to raise so I stop myself from speaking.
My eyes scan the room for a sign of either Sandy or Henry, but nothing shows they were ever here.
"They're in there." JJ states, reading my mind and pointing to the room Derek and Emily share.
I open the door a crack, just enough to poke my head through and witness the two sleeping. Closing it, I pad back to the sofa and take a seat.
"Why?" I ask, finally looking back up to her face. "Why would you do this to us?"
A tear streams down her face as she adjusts the blanket still covering her legs.
"I didn't want to, Spence. I just-"
"My name is Spencer." I state harshly.
Her face hardens as she try's hard not to cry further.
"What about our..." my voice and thoughts become jumbled. "our baby?" I manage to spit out the last two words before physically choking on the idea she lost it.
"He's great." she smiles before quickly straightening her face again.
"He?" My body fills with rage, love and pain all in one.
"I had a boy." she sighs, leaning forward slightly to grab her mobile.
"What does he- No. Fuck." I prevent myself from thinking of the child and I cut myself off once more. I can't just let everything be ok again, not when she faked her death and had my child somewhere else. "He doesn't even know I exist."
"No, I spoke of you every day. You and Henry."
