WTTSH/WTTT book IG (wait why is it all california-)

California's journal

Angst
Ships can be inferred, however none are the main point of this.
This was just a way for me to be able to complain about my classmates without them knowing, while venting.
This will have little story outside of the journal, most of the story being told in the journal.

TW: SH, Depression, ED, if there are anymore let me know.

California journal, page one.
September 4th, 20xx.
5:39

I was told by my therapist I should try journaling again. "Good for the body to vent without judgement." Also being poetic with words can help me explain things better to her. I can also use this to track my anorexia. This is worth a shot I guess however I am going to drop it after she stop mentioning it for sure.

Writing is not that easy. We have a meeting today I'll update more after that shit happens.
Finish: 5:54.

Same day 14:52:
What the fuck was that. It feels like I was shooting myself in the face while listening to the most atrocious bullshit I might as well be letting one sit on my face. It was not enjoyable at all.

Florida is so fucking full of himself. When the meeting got to a dark place luke suicide, it would suck not only for this conversation which is important to have, but also for his reputation. He does it anyway. And to "EvErYoNe'S sHoCk" the room went silent and reading minds was my new ability. The only people not wanting to jump him were Louisiana, GOV, and Florida himself. And when Florida sees that his funny little joke that's wildly offensive didn't hit well he doesn't apologize. He doesn't even address it; he just starts bullying me. In other words he tells me to kill myself to get others on his side. It work and I hate that. "Oh I'm losing an argument let's bully the easily bullable one because he stands up for what's right" you can suck my dick honestly. Gag on my cum. See how much I care.

Rant of Florida done for now and ya know she was correct doing this did make me feel better. pendejo, pendejo, don't let this work on me.
I might break this pencil if I try to write anything else so today finished?
15:08

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
California thinks for a second then writes a few more updates at the bottom of the page.

"Calorie intake... Uhhhh 678?
Self harm scars... Many fresh, hurts a lot."California explain to himself while writing. He does that when he isn't writing about really sensitive content or about anybody else, especially negatively.

He makes a cute little paper pocket with doodles on it and puts polaroid pictures of his scars in it. (I know the best way to track progress/j)

'I could visit York, maybe Alaska, definitely not Florida after this whole meeting... No... NO!... I guess I'll go to York. I should message him first.' California argues with himself.

California looks through his left on read vents from his messages with New York and decides to just go see Alaska; he grabs a jacket.

California's journal, page 2
September 5 20xx
9:28
"Love me, hate me, say what you want about me, but all of the boys, and all of the girls, are begging to if you seek Amy" -Britney Spears "if u seek amy"

I guess I'm going to start putting quotes and song lyrics at the top of these because it empowers me a little more than is should. The chat with Alaska went good, better then expected. He's good to talk too. He's a great listener. He's actually trustworthy. And now I'm gushing over him like we're married. I wish he would come to meetings he might be able to protect me. But if he came to meetings he would also just start hating me. Hawaii would be good to have too. She really likes me, in a platonic way.

York is asking about why I didn't come to rant yesterday. I told him how I felt about the left on read messages and how even though he hates everyone talking to him especially about me feels like shit. He apologize which he never does so I'm buying it for now.

Tennessee however has joined in on the "let's call California a fag because why not lmao" and I fucking hate it. Block an account. Get 5 more. Ignore an account get 5 more plus get spammed. They never use their main accounts so I can't report it being them to GOV. And I need my dms open for art commission which I also get bullied for. Just because I verbally disagree with their state's politics, goddamn.

DC asked if I needed someone to talk to and... I stupidly agreed and told him some things. He, comforted me? I don't know I don't have people do this it's weird and I don't know how to feel. I'm going to go eat dinner now.

EVERY *erase marks/ crossed out things* 


FUCK.

+ripped out pages+

I'M LEAVING. If you find this notebook the pages are around me room.
New york get my beanie and knife collection.
Hawaii and Alaska get anything else.

Date: september 9th 20xx
If anybody sees Hawaii tell her I'm sorry.

---------------------------------

California got up and packed little stuff and trashed his room out of anger. Took his pistol he has very hidden, shooting some of the walls and other stuff in his room. After so he punches threw his window and jumped out severely hurting himself and ran. He ran and ran until he's legs gave up on him. He ran to far for anybody else to get to him.

New york started to dress and slowly started acting like him. Everyone felt guilty of his disappearance. 

930 words

the ending was so fucking rushed lmao.