Zephyr {Sae Itoshi x Reader}

Sae's Backstory

I'm not entirely sure what I was expecting when Sae drove us somewhere for food, but a kid's arcade and restaurant definitely wasn't it.

"You come here often?" I asked, in clear disbelief.

"Oh, absolutely not," Sae answered. "This lukewarm place? First time. Thought Rusei could have some fun."

Sae walked over to the frontman and purchased some tickets. A lot of tickets. An inhumane amount of tickets. And then gave them to my kid brother. "Have a ball," he advised.

I couldn't help but smile as Rusei skipped happily away. These were the kind of things that really got him excited, considering that he'd never done most of them before. On school field trips, he had no money for extras. For birthday parties, he got what the kid's parents were willing to spend. Rusei didn't have these types of fun experiences, and it absolutely broke my heart every time I was reminded.

I wonder if Sae figured... I thought.

There was a restaurant attached to the arcade where all the adults were eating with their spouses. It seemed like the perfect place for tired parents to drop off their kids and have a date.

Not that this was a date or anything.

We took a seat, and for a brief moment, sat in an uncomfortable silence.

"So," I began. "Start explaining. You said you wanted a proper conversation."

"How much of an explanation do you want? How many years of connections do you want me to make?" Sae asked.

"You just bought Rusei over 2000 tickets. I have all day."

Sae chuckled. "You know, I'm surprised you hadn't heard of me, especially when your brother loves Real Madrid so much."

"Is that your team?" I asked.

"Has been for a few years. It's where I first got famous. It's where I became 'the Sae Itoshi' and made a name for myself. I've been living in luxury ever since."

"Sounds nice," I nodded.

"Well, that's exactly as the media portrays it," he went on. "You said you didn't want to be living a lie, but that's exactly been my life for the past several years. And that's the first thing I need to tell you. If you're going to know me, really, truly, know me, you're always going to have to lie. Because I refuse to tell the truth."

"What do you mean?" I asked, cautiously.

"Swear on it," Sae said. He stared into my soul with a burning intensity. This level of seriousness was something I never dared cross. "Swear that whatever I tell you next, you don't tell anyone."

I nodded. "I promise."

"You asked me a while back why I chose you. Why I was so suddenly attached to you. Well, it's because of how I met you. The night you were attacked. I felt called to protect you, because I myself was attacked just like that."

"What?" I asked softly. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. But I didn't dare interrupt his moment of vulnerability.

"When I was in Spain," Sae continued. "I had difficulty connecting with my teammates. I was better than all of them. Except for one. Leonardo Luna. The man who forced me into midfield. I'll never forget.

"I couldn't speak Spanish very well back then, but I was determined to talk to him. To learn from him. To beat him. I asked one of the assistant coaches to teach me Spanish so I could better myself. He gladly agreed, happy that I decided to reach out to someone instead of keeping to myself, like usual.

"But one night, he took advantage of me. I was young and afraid, so I didn't dare say anything. I was far too powerless. He threatened to kick me off the team, so I did nothing. I said nothing. And week after painful week, I was fucking assaulted."

The boy looked up at me, and his eyes looked so incredibly tired. Sae, the boy who saved me, my friend, was broken and hurting. And it was like nothing I could ever imagine. I could tell this was difficult for him, but he still managed to continue.

"My first words in perfect Spanish were a cry for help. To Leonardo Luna," he said. "And as soon as the coach heard me cry for help, he let me go. The next day, he was fired for 'unreleased reasons.'

"I remember hearing the announcement he was fired. I caught Luna's eye, and that day, there was an unspoken agreement that not a word should be said.

"So when I saw you, panicking, crying out for help, I was reminded solely of my own past, and I rushed in to save you. Just as I wished someone had done for me."

I put my hand over his and brushed it softly. "You don't have to keep going, Sae. You've said plenty, and I understand you now."

"No," he responded. "It's important that you hear this. Look, I know I'm harsh. I know I'm a total dickhead. I get it. I don't interact with people all that well. But for some reason, for some goddamn reason, I need you to hear this.

"I said you need to be living a lie, and that's all for my sake. I distanced myself from you because my assistant coach had reached out to me the minute he read that article about us. I spent all that time away from you talking with lawyers—who I fucking hate by the way—to file some sort of restraining order and keep it under wraps from the rest of the world."

At this point, Sae was shaking. No tears fell from his eyes, but they were incredibly wet. I didn't know what to do, and all I could think was how much pain he was in.

"And I know what you're thinking, that now he definitely knows who you are because of that kiss. But Y/n, I fucking needed you for that. Because the more shit that coach brings, the more I need you to be my perfect lie so I can say my life is perfect and fine. So I can continue living my life the way people see. So they don't see the absolute shit I came from in Spain.

"I'm sorry; I'm selfish. I know it. But I don't know what else to do. I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do."

He looked at me, the tears still glazing over his blue eyes. His hands were shaking like mad and his voice quivered as he spoke. I feared that his very tongue would fall out from the poisonous terror inflicting his heart. Sae wasn't okay. He hadn't been okay for so long.

Sae...

"Please, just be here. Let me be selfish with you. Be my perfect little lie. I need you, Y/n. We're the same and we're hurting and we're trying to control it. But I can't see therapy like you can, it's too public. I can't ask for help, I'll get noticed. My career, my entire life, will be over.

"I'm begging, with every ounce of humanity I have left. Save me. Be my peaceful wind in the storm. My zephyr. Allow me this one bit of selfishness so I can salvage my freedom.

"Please be here with me."