The Misfit

Unplanned

It was the middle of the night and I payed in Warren's bed taking in the scent of him as I watched the rain drops racing down the window. Me and Lexie are sharing the bed considering it is a full house here.

I sighed as I picked up my phone and checked the time. The bright light of my screen stringed my eyes.

2:00am

Normally when I couldn't sleep I found comfort in Warren's arms. He would keep me in his arms as long as I needed never to complain or let go.

I would do anything to have him here with me right now. With out him here this room seems unfamiliar to me.

As I looked around I could remember every memory with him that was housed in every inch of this room. The room was slightly lit by the slight limitation by the city lights outside the window.

Deciding I wasn't going to sleep I grabbed my phone and left  Lexie in the room sleeping peacefully.

I noticed how silent and still the apartment seemed and I didn't like it. One thing about me that has changed about me this summer is that I find myself longing for company from the ones I love. Before I wanted to be in complete solitude. I felt as if it were selfish for me to put someone through witnessing my dreadfulness.

But Warren changed that, and for that I am internally greatful for.

As I sat down on the couch that had been filled with the boys not even two hours ago. The living room was a mess. There were bottles all over the coffee table and there was still a pile of cash sitting dead in the center of it.

As I looked at it I couldn't help but feel sick at the thought that this was my only ticket to Warren. This was my only life line right now and I have never felt so restricted and suffocated.

I wanted him home.

No I needed him home. I feel broken without him. As sad as it is to admit, he is the glue that holds my broken pieces together.

I never want to live in a world where Warren doesn't exist. Never.

I felt the tears sting my eyes. I leaned forward in my seat and rested my elbows on my knees and my face fell effortlessly into my palms. I breathed deeply to calm the storm that was brewing in my chest.

All that could be heard in the silence is my sniffles.

Suddenly I heard a creak of the floor boards. I whipped my head around to examine the open area.

Asher stood behind me, he seemed shocked as if he wasn't expecting to see me. He was dressed in a darker outfit. He had shoes on and everything. It was obvious that he was ready to go somewhere.

We stared at each other in silence for a few seconds as I was observing his outfit he was looking at the tear streaks that were currently on my face.

I looked away once I realized how awkward that was. As my head was turned I wipe my tears.

"Looks like you are going somewhere?" I asked.

"Are you ok? Why are you crying?" He asked trying to change the topic. He walked over to the couch and sat down with me on the couch.

I scoffed and let out a bitter laugh. "It's nothing it's silly." I said trying to downplay my emotions.

I turned my head away from him I felt my lips wobble and to stop a sob from breaking past my lips I had to place my hind over my mouth. I felt his large warm hand on my shoulder.

"Don't do that, don't down play your emotions. They are valid and I will always be here for you to vent. So what is going on?" He asked in a final attempt to break my silence.