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Dagon: why does my head feel like hell gets up from bed and walks to the kitchen Dagon:Hi Loona
Dagon: Loona what are you doing here Loona: would you rather wake up in a alleyway from your drinking Dagon:no Loona: we need to get to the office Dagon:ok —------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Stolas: You know what I haven't done in a long, loooong time? I haven't taken you to your favorite place in all of Hell! Why don't we go to Loo Loo Land? Octavia: I'm not five anymore. Stolas: You always were so happy when I took you to Loo Loo Land! What do you say we go there again, have a day, just the two of us? Octavia: I'd... rather kill myself. Stolas: There we go! Anything but staying in this house. Now, I'll arrange our security. [Stolas picks up a phone carried on a platter by his now bruised and battered servant.] Octavia: Security for a theme park? Stolas: We are rich, and we're hot. People want our money and our bodies! [Octavia grabs a box of cereal on the table and begins shoveling handfuls into her mouth.] Octavia: *under her breath* Our money, maybe] Stolas: Speak for yourself, princess. Now... I'm calling the only man who can fuck me! Octavia: *drops the handful of cereal, disgusted* What...? Stolas: *immediately backpedaling* Who can protect me! Us! Being part of the Goetia family is rather valuable, you know. [Octavia groans and pulls her beanie down over her eyes.] [Cut to I.M.P Headquarters, where Blitzo is busy doing very important work in his office, r before being interrupted by the ringing of his Hellphone.] Blitzo: *angrily* WHAT?!Stolas: *lustfully* Why, hello, my big-dicked Blitzy.[Both Blitzo and Octavia spit out their coffee in sheer surprise. Blitzo slams his "BOSS BITCH" mug onto his desk.] Blitzo: What– Octaia: the– Blitzo: FUCK–\ Octavia: Dad?! Stolas: Language, everyone! *into the phone* I have a special request~Blitzo: Aw... Look, I just had a chemical peel. So, you'll have to find someone else's face to plant that feathered ass. Stolas: It's for my daughter. Blitzo: Ah. Well, make sure she washes it. Stolas: *taken aback* No! No, no-no-no. I'm taking my daughter to Loo Loo Land, and I was hoping you brave little Imps would accompany us! Blzo: We're assassins, not bodyguards, 'kay? Don't invite us to shit unless someone's gonna die. Stolas: I'll pay you~Blitzo: Pay me what? Stolas: Moneyyyy~Blitzo: Done! [Blitzo hangs up and accidentally slams his phone down on the desk hard enough to smash it to pieces. After a brief annoyed glance at it, he pulls out a megaphone.] Blitzo: M n' M, get in here! We're goin' to Loo Loo Land! [Moxxie opens the door to respond.] Moxxie: Loo Loo Land? [Millie excitedly smashes her head straight through the office door's glass.] Millie: *excitedly* Loo Loo Land?! Blitzo: Loo Loo Land! Loona: (offscreen) SHUT THE FUCK UP!! [Cut to Loo Loo Land. A van with an I.M.P decal spray painted on the side pulls into the rather empty parking lot. Moxxie exits the van and opens the side door. A very cramped Stolas extracts himself excitedly. His daughter exits the van far less excitedly. Stolas dons an apple-themed hat and gestures toward the park gate. Octavia groans and pulls her hat low over her face.] Blitzo: Now, remember: this is work and work only. Me and my crew are not here to satisfy your perverted bird needs, alright? Octavia: *disgustedly* Hey... Dad... Do we have to--? Blitzo: Okay, yeah. Hold on right there, sweetie. [turns to Stolas] If you try fuckin' my little ass in that park, I swear to--Stolas: You are so cute when you are serious! Octavia: I'm literally going to be sick. Dagon: same Moxxie: Oh, crumbs! I knew today would be a lot! What do you need? [Moxie fishes around in a fanny pack and throws out several pill bottles as he lists off his inventory.] Moxxie: Anti-acids? Ibuprofen? [Moxxie shows Octavia several hypodermic needles of a glowing, acid green substance.] Moxxie: Morphine? Octavia: That was figurative, old man. Moxxie: Oh, right. [Moxxie chuckles sheepishly as he discards the needles into a nearby baby carriage, where a baby imp happily reaches out to play with its dangerous new "toys."] Moxxie: *under his breath* But, she said it was literal. Millie: *excitedly* Wooooow! I haven't been to this place since I was a tot! [A large letter falls off the sign of a nearby ride, crushing the teenaged imp underneath.] Millie: It hasn't changed a bit. Ohhh! LOOK! It's Big Woobly! [Millie gestures toward a hideously animatronic dinosaur, which opens its mouth and lets out a terrifying, demonic shriek.] Dagon: this shit is offending me Moxxie: That is... deeply upsetting. Millie: Oh, come on! It's fun! You've never been here Moxxie: No. Theme parks always disturbed me, especially the mascots. [The park's mascot, Loo Loo appears out of nowhere behind Moxxie Loo Loo: Well, hey there! Moxxie: *jumps back in terror* AAAAAH!! Dagon: laughing Loo Loo: I'm Loo Loo! Welcome to Loo Loo Land! If y'all get hurt here, just try and sue us! Stolas: *gasps* Look! Via! It's Loo Loo! Octavia: I have a question. Loo Loo: Well, ask away, little girlie! A-hyuk a-hyuk a-hyuk! Octavia: Is it true this park is just a really shameless spin-off of Licifer's far more popular Lu Lu World? Loo Loo: *beat* No? Octavia: This place reeks of insecure corporate shame. [Stolas chuckles nervously as he leads Octavia away.] Stolas: Why don't we go check out the rides? Loo Loo: That chick's creepy, huh? Blitzo: Eh, wait till her dad tries to diddle your holes. Loo Loo: *to Millie, Moxxie and Dagon* What's that mean? Moxxie: Don't talk to me! I know you're a pervert under there! [Moxxie leaves, leading Millie off with him. Loo Loo hangs his body dejectedly.] Loo Loo: Yeah... [Moxxie and Millie head down a pathway, and Moxxie, sweating profusely, stops to catch his composure.] Moxxie: You really like this place, huh? Millie: I love this place! My parents would bring me and my siblings here when they could swing it. Money-wise. [Moxxie looks over to see a worker wheeling a wheelbarrow piled to the brim with money into a nearby giftshop. The two approach the window, where novelty cups and stuffed apples are for sale. The cups appear to cost at least 29 souls per.] Moxxie: Yeaaaah. The prices do seem rather criminal. I mean, that much for a novelty cup that you use one time? Millie: 'Cause, it's Loo Loo Land!
