"Forget Me Not" {first published novel}

Ch.17 ~ "Quality Thyme"

You can open your eyes, to the things you've shut out, widen your view to the things you doubt, but in the end it's the lessons you've learned and the things you have figured out.

With our bags clenched between our fingers, we stand in complete tranquility. The distant sound of railroad crossing warnings slowly approach our capability of hearing and rest there.

I look at him from the side and he looks so peaceful. His eyes remain focused on our target and his shoulders are pulled back towards his rib cage revealing his calm posture. His blond hair is slowly blowing in the subtle wind waves partially covering one eye.

It is really quite a sin that by the end of the day this liberty will not remain with us. We will be living a world of chaos and commotion. I look down at my fingers, freshly manicured, soon to be filthy with blood and dirt.

What will my parents do? How will my friends react? All these unanswered questions pounding in my head are pushing me to flee but to regain whatever knowledge or experiences I lost the day of the incident, this must occur.

"It's time. The train is approaching," I say, nervously.

"I know," he says, unemotionally.

I begin to run and he follows behind. My heartbeat quickens, my breaths shorten and my steps lengthen. The adrenaline pumping through my veins is encouraging me to continue. The heavy bag consistently hitting my lumbar spine as I run is trying to give me an excuse to hold back but I push past the pain and as a train cart is close to my body, I launch my body up and I feel my side slam hard down on the metal flooring with a large thud.

I roll over onto my left side to see Evan holding his chest and breathing heavily. I place my hand on his but he does not respond.

"Hey, Evan! Hey, are you okay?!" I yell.

He tries to speak.

"I , I , I'm..."

I start to worry. Why can he not finish his sentence?

"What? You're what?!" I panic turning my head to look at his. He begins giggling and coughing which sickens me to not know what is happening.

"I'm... I'm exhausted," he says, laughing at how I worry too much.

"Oh, I guess I seem kinda crazy then, eh?" I giggle.

"We just jumped onto a train," he begins, "No matter what, you seem crazy."

"Hey!" I shout jokingly punching him in the shoulder.

"And I love it," he says rolling back over, he face above mine and gives me a cute, short peck on the lips.

I smile in response.

"You know, we've just jumped on a train, and now we've faced the hardest part of the trip. We'll make it you know."

"I sure hope so," I say unsure if what he spoke is true, but hopeful that it is.

~~~

Hours pass by very slowly, and the quickening blanket of darkness is covering the sky. In my distant view I see city lights beaming towards the dark clouds above it. We are only two more hours away from Chicago. Evan who is sleeping peacefully against a cube of hay, keeps me confident that no matter how long it takes for police officers and FBI agents to find us we will find our way to safety and answers.

At the other side of my field of view, a beautiful violet, pink and orange sky shades into a dark blue then to jet black. the darkness does not frighten me, but the things in the darkness do. I crawl my way over to Evan and his haystack and place my head on his and my mangled hair falls down his shoulders, like the current of a stream.

When Evan dreams, I see a future. A future for him and all of his goals. That his precious life will not end tomorrow and as his property, he will make sure neither will mine. Evan is my protector and I know I can count on him to be there for me when I need him to. I love him.

His heart begins to beat harder and all I want to do is protect this living angel until his life is taken away. The drumbeats in his chest pound ever so loudly and powerfully, making me feel safe in his presence. I relive the first time I laid eyes on Evan. The hospital dorm. Evan was sleeping like he is now only he mumbled a few words and within a moment the lights and monitors were buzzing and flickering beyond my control.

His sweaty, fearful face shaking wildly in short spasms and his heartbeat absent from the scene. When Evan awoke, my eyes were drawn to his. It was like looking into a meadow with millions of three-leaved clovers only to look right before you, and find the only four-leaved one.

Then, suddenly a quick, unexpected noise forces Evan's head to plummet from the haystack to his lap. I flinch in the process.

"What the hell was that?!" I yell frightened.

"A sneeze, babe. I'm fine."

Something is odd. Evan has sneezed an exceptionally numerous amount of times over the course of the last few days.

"That's weird. You sneezed in the middle of your sleep?"

"Sleep. Yeah, I wish."

The response shocks me. Was he not sleeping? All I know right now is that I am confused.

"You weren't sleeping?" I ask, hopeful for a response to free my mind from this confusion.

He looks at me even more confused than I am looking at him.

"Allie, my disease. I can not sleep."

I am so astonished in a horrible way at the moment. How stupid am I? The hospital, the seizures, how did I not realize that Evan had a disease all along. I have been so selfish about everything and anything recently. I did not even realize my boyfriend had a disease.

"I, uh.. I did not know, you had a disease."

He looks surprised.

"I thought I told you. I swear I told you."

"No. You didn't."

He looks saddened by my expression.

"It's called Fatal Familial Insomnia. FFI for short. I can not sleep and I am slowly forgetting things. It's like an old person's disease, except on a teenager."

I am taken back by his words. As the train passes by one station and a sign reads "North Chicago one kilometre away", I should be relieved but instead I am worrisome and upset. I wish I could stay on this railroad forever and forget about all of the last minute. As I smell the fowl smell of garbage and rats to indicate a station is approaching, all I can think is things do not get much more disappointing than this. Until Evan proves me wrong.

"You know, I'm really sorry you didn't already know this, baby. I really am, I wish you had already knew about this and the fact it's terminal."

I freeze.

"It's what?"

"Terminal," he begins, "like I have nine months to, uh.. live".

I drop to my knees. As I feel myself fall out of the doorway and into the powerful wind, the strength leaves my body, I start to loose control of my breathing and fall onto my palms, unable to breathe.