Letters To Ash [5sos Mashton AU] (boyxboy)

2.2

'Ashton.' My mum came into my room on Friday- the last day of my suspension- and sat down on the end of my bed.
One look.
That's all it took.
One look and I knew what was coming next.
'Michael, honey. We really need to chat.'
Chat.
That's all anyone ever wanted to do.
Chat.
But I didn't want to chat. I didn't want to chat or talk or anything.
I just wanted to be alone. Alone to think through my stupid damn mistakes. But that mental punishment wasn't enough. No, everyone wanted to chat, to make me feel worse about myself, to make myself think I was a terrible person for still believing that my best friend was going to come home.
Best friend.
Maybe.... maybe he was more.
He was Ashton freaking Irwin, of course he was more.
I sighed in defeat and crossed my legs beneath me, keeping my eyes trained on my hands in my lap.
'We need to talk about Ashton.' My mum sighed, placing a warm hand over my own.
I wanted to die, I wanted the hide under the bed, I wanted to do anything except have that conversation.
'Michael?' My mum nudged me when I didn't say anything.
'Yeah.' I muttered and we talked. I told her how I felt about Ashton, how I hurt, how I needed him. At first, she looked a little shocked at the feelings towards the boy, but I think she could see the desperation in my eyes, and accepted what I was spelling out for her. She didn't really have any other choice, to be honest.
When I had finished, I finally looked up at her eyes, expecting her to be angry but instead, she went to open her mouth to say something, decided against it and just pulled me into a hug instead.
'Michael, my little boy.' She said, her voice muffled by my shoulder. 'It's okay. It's all going to be okay.'
'What's going to happen now?' I asked, my throat tightening.
My mum pulled away from me, her eyes tainted red from the visible tears on her cheeks. 'We're going to take a trip to the doctors.'
'What?' I spluttered, moving away from her.
'Mikey, honey, this isn't healthy. We both know very well what happened to Ashton.'
'No!' I shouted, anger swelling in my heart and soul. My whole body started to shake as I got up off the bed and backed away from my startled mother.
'Please don't do this Michael. I'm scared for you.' She said pathetically, rising to her own feet. 'I'm going to help you through this. Don't worry, everything is going to be okay.'
By now I was grabbing at my hair, my heart breaking. Why was she doing this? Why does this have to happen to me?
'No. Why do I need to go to the doctors? Why?' I cried, my eyes filling with sharp, salty tears.
'You're unwell.' My mum said gently, stepping forward and placing a hand on my arm.
I stared down at it, confused.
'No.'
'Yes.' She tightened her grip on my arm and started to pull me towards the door. 'We're going to call up the doctor's surgery right now--'
And then it happened.
All so fast.
In such a blur.
I wriggled out of her grip and pulled back my hand before swinging it around and landing a smack right across her face. A smack so hard that it knocked her to the floor.