Cover Girl

𝖿᥆r𝗍ᥡ - 𝖿ᥲᥡᥱ

10

Everything stopped.

My heart sunk down my chest the same way I sunk down the wall.

She couldn't be. She would've told me. There was no way.

I wiped away the tears that had previously formed and sighed.

It was a good joke on her end but I wasn't falling for it.

I walked to the kitchen and got myself a glass of water. I heard the door open behind me and watched as Ethan ran up the stairs. I smiled at the close bond he had with my brother.

I glanced at the time and saw that it was getting late, but instead of going to bed, I went downstairs.

*******

After hours of working myself, I finally decided to go to sleep. I'd been downstairs for 3 hours and it was almost midnight. I'd almost passed out on the treadmill when I decided to let myself break.

I opened up the door simultaneously with the person opening the front door.

I immediately went on full guard, hiding in the darkness.

I stumbled upon a very drunk version of my mother. I'd seen her drunk before but never this drunk. She seemed like a different person. Happier, more carefree. Almost how she was in childhood when everything seemed to be sunshine and rainbows until everything turned to darkness and storm clouds with cheating boyfriends and lying best friends. I almost wanted to play into my mother's joyous facade.

Instead, I grabbed her arm and led her into her bedroom. She ran into me on multiple occasions, but I eventually got her to lie down. I pulled the cover over her and left the room, turning off the lights on my way out.

I took the feigned letter upstairs, wanting nothing more than to rip it up, but some voice told me not to.

As I passed Matteo's room, I heard the occasional sniffle, and Ethan's voice soon followed.

I walked into my bedroom and lay in my bed, not even bothering to take a shower.

I closed my eyes and let go of the thoughts of Brielle and my mother and gave in to my exhaustion.

**********

I sat across from Kai, moving the lettuce around on my plate to look like I'd eaten something.

I wanted to be anywhere but here right now, but once, just once, I wanted to see my mom proud. I wanted to see her happy because of me. I didn't want her to look at me in pain anymore. Even if it killed me to please my mother, I would do it.

Both of us had hardly talked since we'd gotten back together. Kai tried, but after enough times dismissing him, he gave up. Even after everything, I didn't want to see him in pain, but I couldn't keep up with my emotions, and eventually just shut everyone out.

"Faye," Kai began in a soft tone, "can you please look at me? Look I know I was in the wrong, but I thought you forgave me. I thought we were okay, but you haven't looked at me in weeks." He sounded tired and pained.

"Hm, I wonder why," I retorted.

"I'm sorry Faye, I don't know how many times it'll take me to say that for you to believe me, but I am. I am so sorry that I hurt you. Just tell me what I can do." He reached out for my hand, but I pulled away before he could.

"Just leave it for now."

"Okay."

He looked like he wanted to push more, but didn't. I was grateful that he respected it, but I honestly didn't want to be here. I wanted to curl up in my bed for the rest of eternity.