Cover Girl

sі᥊ - 𝖿ᥲᥡᥱ

I woke up, my eyes feeling more heavy than normal. How long had I slept?

I grabbed my phone, and opened it to check the time on the lock screen '9:30'. Crap. I slept through my alarm.

I still have time, right?

I got out of bed and changed right away into a black workout set.

Walking downstairs, I noticed that my mom wasn't home. It wasn't shocking, but it did make me feel more at ease.

I was about halfway through my workout, focusing mostly on core because I needed it. I realized my stomach looked huge, it was disgusting. I had to get rid of it.

My body ached like crazy. I felt so tired.

Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. You need to just keep going. Deal with it.

I tried. I really did. The hardest I could do, but it wasn't enough.

I started sinking, down to the ground, until I was laying on my back, tears flooding out of my eyes like a river after it rains.

I can't do this anymore. I can't. It will never be enough, I will never be enough. Not enough for my mom. Not enough for my friends. Not enough for Kai. Not enough for the world. Not enough for myself.

My head started throbbing, and I just choked out sobs.

I was being hysterical. I just need to finish the workout. I just need to suck it up, beauty is pain.

I forced myself back up and tried to continue my workout and hold back the tears, just deal with the pain, that means it's working. Maybe I can skip breakfast today, too. That will help. I'll feel better after that.

I pushed through the workout coming out as a sweaty mess after. I walked over to the steps and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

Disgusting. The fat is so noticeable. How am I supposed to do my photoshoot tomorrow looking like this? How can anyone find this beautiful, it's disgusting.

I sighed and made my way up the steps. Mateo was on the couch watching a movie. Typical. His head turned towards me before I began walking to the stairs.

"Do you want some McDonald's?" He asked before I started up the stairs.

"No thank you."

I started running up the stairs. Even thinking about food is going to make me fat and disgusting. Why eat when you can look pretty, but I still have yet to achieve that goal. People who look as fat as I do can't look pretty. It's impossible. (A/N: "fat" people are beautiful like all people. I just wrote this for the purpose of the plot.)

I made my way to the shower with my day clothes and stepped into the burning water. I quickly washed up and got out. I cleansed my skin and made my way downstairs.

My mother was walking in with her hands filled with bags.

"Hi, sweetheart! I bought a bunch of clothes so we can have a little fashion show. Doesn't that sound fun?" She beamed. I silently nodded and we made out way to my room. She sat on my bed and handed me one of many bags.

I walked into the bathroom and looked through the bag. There were clothes upon clothes. This is what I imagined Mary Poppins' bag to look like if all she had were clothes.

I grabbed the first thing which was a mint green crop top with daisies patterned throughout. I paired it with a pair of light blue Jean shorts.

I looked in my full-length mirror and admired myself. The shorts covered up my disgusting fat and the crop top showed off my shape.

I walked out with a smile and saw my mother's eyes go wide. She must like it as well.

"Oh that just won't do," my smile turned to a frown, and waited for her to continue. "The shorts are way too long and the crop top looks atrocious." I nodded and walked back to the bathroom.

I looked back at the mirror and sighed. She's right. How could I not see it? I looked disgusting. The sight of myself made me ill.

I looked back in the bag and pulled out an oversized lavender t-shirt and a pair of ripped mom jeans.

I put them on and looked in the mirror. I'm not sure how I feel. I walked out with a blank expression and saw my mom look me up and down.

"Oh no. The jeans need more rips. And the design on that shirt makes your image in the media look terrible. We can't associate you with that" It was a peace sign. How would that ruin my image? Whatever. I sighed and turned back towards the bathroom.

As I look off my clothes, I glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked so pale. I needed to tan. I'll tell my mother to book an appointment. But she'll probably come with me. I'll tell Kai to bring me. But he'll probably want me to come after. He never lets me say no. I'll get Matteo to bring me. But he's always with Ethan. I'll just bring myself. I shouldn't go places alone. It's not safe I'll just bring Kai and suck it up like usual.

The rest of the 'fashion show' was mainly the same. Me liking an outfit, and my mother critiquing it. That's how they normally go. I'm used to it by now.

QOTD: What's your favorite show?

Word Count: 929