afloat

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When I'm alone,
I ponder about love.
I ponder the questions that never left my head.
Questions like 'If genuine love is still existing, then why is it that my heart has never felt like there is?'
I worry too much about it, honestly.
Page by page,
word for word,
I search for answers that have never been answered.
And yet, I find myself gloomy because of it.
I was looking for something to complete the emptiness of my soul.
I was looking for someone to fix the mess that I've always been wanting to be fixed.
I was looking and looking and yet, I found nothing.
I found nothing but agony.
And in agony, I found myself crying in tears of reverie.
Helpless, I drowned into the waters of hell.
I asked for help, but I felt like no one would dare to help me.
What I did was that I learned to swim so I could get out of the water and bring myself back home.
So now,
I learned to stay afloat.

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