Ice

Home

5 years Later

Standing outside my childhood home, I can't help but feel my heart breaking. 5 years ago, I ran. I ran away from my problems, I ran from my family, my friends and the man I loved. After my injury I couldn't take being here. Everyone looking at me with sympathy and sorrow. My doctor telling me time and time again, he couldn't fix my leg, it would never be better. I was 21 and my whole future was ripped from me. My mind was a mess and my heart was broken. So I ran. I went to England. Tried multiple doctors and specialists, had so many operations, I lost count. Each one causing me more pain.

I wrote letters to everyone I love, explaining why I was leaving and hoping they could somehow forgive me. I changed my number and only allowed my brother to have my new number. Keeping track of everyone through him. Obviously I kept track of Chris and his career and he seems to be doing well for himself. I was so proud of him for following his dreams.

My brother texted me a week ago, telling me to come home because my mum was sick. She has cancer and the doctors can't do anything else for her. So I booked the flight and here I am. Standing outside, waiting. Wondering. Will they be happy to see me? Will they hate me? I take a deep breath and walk to the door.
I knock and wait. I don't feel right walking in, not after 5 years. The door opens and I see my dad, he hasn't changed one bit.
"Hi daddy"
"Kia?"
I smile, a sad smile. He smiles back, taking my suitcase and ushering me inside.

He doesn't take me in his arms or really say much. We just stand there.
"You came home?"
"Yeah. Brian told me about mum. I had too come home"
He nods "shame it takes your mum dying for you to reach out"
"Im sorry......I" before I can finish I hear my mum, as I look up she is standing there in shock, she looks so tired and pale and has definitely lost weight.
"Sweetheart?"
"Hi mommy"

She walks to me, I notice her struggle. I don't know what I was expecting, a slap, her to tell me to leave. But what she does, is wrap her arms around me and holds me close. I feel my tears fall as I hold her. She strokes my hair just as she always did.
"My baby girl is home"
I nod "I'm home momma"
We stand there for what feels like an eternity, until she pulls back. She cups my face and smiles at me.
"I'm so glad your home baby"
"Me too"

"Well let me take a look at you"
She holds me at arms length and looks me up and down, smiling.
"Still as beautiful as always. How's the leg?"
"It's okay, sore in cold weather but okay"
She nods "we have so much to catch up on"
She takes my hand and walks me through to the living room. We sit and talk, just like we always did. We talk about my travels and my surgeries. She cry's more knowing the pain I went through to fix my problem. I cry when she tells me all she has been through with the cancer. By the end of it, we are just sat there holding each other. My mum was always my best friend and now knowing she won't be here, makes me feel selfish and stupid for ever walking away.